Their fourth original album, Details, is a record as ambitious as it is strident in its solitary ruminations on love lost and circadian bloom. Details marks a striking shift from O'Connell's humble beginnings of home-recorded bowed banjo and percussive clangs of books and pans, to expansively twangy rock atmospheres and heart-rending words sung with blistering stoicism – "It was the year of the hole in my chest, writing appeals with everything I had left".
Out of Focus
Lauren O'Connell Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
All of my thoughts to meaningless little things
So I'd get hung up on some letter you wrote me
Go outside, imagine the weather in Tokyo
But I'd get dragged down by the slightest connection
Just fly off the tracks to some recollection
Of a casual mention of a trip 'round the planet
And how I still waited for you
When you told me not to
Still remember the things that you chose to leave out of focus
Admire, compose, and pretend not to notice
And in all of your messages, the intimate care that you
Took to show you didn't wish I was there with you
And I don't know why I thought I could estimate
How many cars could fit on the Golden Gate
And not think of when we first crossed it together
You said "fuck San Francisco and its shitty weather"
But I kind of thought it was nice
Why couldn't you just let something be nice?
And yeah, of course I know what kind of beer we were drinking last Christmas
When I asked you those things that were none of my business
And I think I called you a liar but actually
I was just mad that you wouldn't yell back at me
And I never thanked you for that
So thanks
That's all you're gonna get
Now it's been a long time, it's almost even easy
I get days, even weeks where you vanish completely
And I know I'm free now of hating or wanting you
I just hate that I still understand what I saw in you
I hate that I still understand what I saw in you
The lyrics of Lauren O'Connell's song "Out of Focus" delve into the complex emotions and lingering feelings that come with the end of a relationship. The singer attempts to cope with their lingering thoughts and memories by distracting themselves with meaningless little things, such as getting hung up on a letter or imagining the weather in Tokyo. However, even these insignificant distractions cannot prevent the singer from being pulled down by the slightest connection to their past. They find themselves flying off the tracks of their intended distraction and being drawn into memories and recollections of their time together.
The song also explores the idea of selective memory and the things that were purposely left out of focus in the relationship. The singer acknowledges that their ex-partner took great care in their messages to show that they didn't wish the singer was there with them. This emphasizes the distance and detachment that existed within the relationship, and it's something the singer still remembers. They question why they thought they could estimate mundane things like how many cars could fit on the Golden Gate Bridge without thinking of the times they experienced it together. The singer longs for a sense of simplicity and wonders why their ex-partner couldn't just let something be nice.
As time passes, the singer admits that it has become easier to move on from the relationship. They have days and even weeks where thoughts of their ex-partner vanish completely. However, despite this newfound freedom from hating or wanting their ex-partner, the singer still struggles with the fact that they can still understand what they saw in them. There is a mixture of frustration and a sense of self-discovery in these closing lines, as the singer battles with themselves and their lingering understanding of the past.
Line by Line Meaning
I thought it might help if I could try limiting
I believed that restricting my thoughts to insignificant things might provide some relief
All of my thoughts to meaningless little things
Directing my thoughts towards trivial matters that hold no significant importance
So I'd get hung up on some letter you wrote me
In order to distract myself, I would obsess over a letter you had written to me
Go outside, imagine the weather in Tokyo
Seeking solace by picturing the climate in Tokyo while being outdoors
But I'd get dragged down by the slightest connection
Nevertheless, I would still be affected by the most insignificant associations
Just fly off the tracks to some recollection
I would instantly spiral into past memories and recollections
Of a casual mention of a trip 'round the planet
Triggered by a casual remark about traveling all around the world
A phone call that I didn't get when you'd landed
The absence of a phone call upon your arrival caused distress
And how I still waited for you
Despite your instructions not to, I continued to wait for you
When you told me not to
Despite your explicit instructions to refrain from doing so
Still remember the things that you chose to leave out of focus
I vividly recall the details deliberately omitted by you, intentionally blurring certain aspects
Admire, compose, and pretend not to notice
I would appreciate and carefully arrange these undisclosed details while pretending to remain unaware
And in all of your messages, the intimate care that you
In every message you sent, I could sense the profound concern and tenderness
Took to show you didn't wish I was there with you
You put in effort to demonstrate that you did not desire my presence alongside you
And I don't know why I thought I could estimate
I am unsure of why I believed I could accurately calculate
How many cars could fit on the Golden Gate
The number of vehicles that can be accommodated on the Golden Gate Bridge
And not think of when we first crossed it together
Without reminiscing about our initial experience of crossing it together
You said 'fuck San Francisco and its shitty weather'
You expressed strong discontent towards San Francisco and its unfavorable climate
But I kind of thought it was nice
However, I personally found it rather pleasant
Why couldn't you just let something be nice?
I wonder why you were incapable of allowing something to remain enjoyable
And yeah, of course I know what kind of beer we were drinking last Christmas
Certainly, I am aware of the specific beer we consumed during the previous Christmas
When I asked you those things that were none of my business
At that time, I inquired about matters that did not concern me
And I think I called you a liar but actually
I believe I accused you of being dishonest, but in reality
I was just mad that you wouldn't yell back at me
I was simply frustrated that you refused to engage in a heated argument with me
And I never thanked you for that
I failed to express appreciation for that aspect
So thanks
Therefore, I thank you
That's all you're gonna get
However, I cannot offer anything beyond this expression of gratitude
Now it's been a long time, it's almost even easy
Now, a considerable amount of time has passed, and it has become almost effortless
I get days, even weeks where you vanish completely
There are occasions, lasting days or even weeks, when you completely disappear from my thoughts
And I know I'm free now of hating or wanting you
I am aware that I no longer harbor feelings of hatred or longing towards you
I just hate that I still understand what I saw in you
However, my frustration stems from the fact that I still comprehend the qualities that attracted me to you
I hate that I still understand what I saw in you
I despise the fact that I can still grasp the reasons behind my initial attraction to you
Lyrics © O/B/O DistroKid
Written by: Lauren O'connell
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind