Les Misérables ( /leɪ ˈmɪzərɑːb/ or /leɪ ˌmɪzəˈrɑːb/; French pronunciation:… Read Full Bio ↴Les Misérables ( /leɪ ˈmɪzərɑːb/ or /leɪ ˌmɪzəˈrɑːb/; French pronunciation: [le mizeˈʁablə]), colloquially known as Les Mis or Les Miz /leɪ ˈmɪz/, is a musical by Claude-Michel Schönberg, based on the novel by Victor Hugo.
The music was composed by Schönberg, and the lyrics were written by Alain Boublil and Jean-Marc Natel, with an English-language libretto by Herbert Kretzmer. Set in early 19th-century France, the plot follows the stories of many characters as they struggle for redemption and revolution. An ensemble that includes prostitutes, student revolutionaries, factory workers, and others joins the lead characters.
The musical opened at the Barbican Centre in London, England on 8 October 1985. It is the second longest-running musical in the world after The Fantasticks, the second longest-running West End show after The Mousetrap, and the third longest-running show in Broadway history. It is currently the longest-running musical on West End followed by The Phantom of the Opera. In January 2010, it played its ten-thousandth performance in London, at Queen's Theatre in London's West End. On 3 October 2010, the show celebrated its 25th anniversary with three productions running in the same city: the original show at London's West End; the Twenty-Fifth Anniversary touring production at the original home of the show, the Barbican Centre; and the Twenty-Fifth Anniversary concert at London's O2 Arena.
The music was composed by Schönberg, and the lyrics were written by Alain Boublil and Jean-Marc Natel, with an English-language libretto by Herbert Kretzmer. Set in early 19th-century France, the plot follows the stories of many characters as they struggle for redemption and revolution. An ensemble that includes prostitutes, student revolutionaries, factory workers, and others joins the lead characters.
The musical opened at the Barbican Centre in London, England on 8 October 1985. It is the second longest-running musical in the world after The Fantasticks, the second longest-running West End show after The Mousetrap, and the third longest-running show in Broadway history. It is currently the longest-running musical on West End followed by The Phantom of the Opera. In January 2010, it played its ten-thousandth performance in London, at Queen's Theatre in London's West End. On 3 October 2010, the show celebrated its 25th anniversary with three productions running in the same city: the original show at London's West End; the Twenty-Fifth Anniversary touring production at the original home of the show, the Barbican Centre; and the Twenty-Fifth Anniversary concert at London's O2 Arena.
Master Of The House
Les Misérables Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴
Drinkers
Come on you old pest
Fetch a bottle of your best
What's the nectar of the day?
[Thenardier enters with a flask of wine.]
Thenardier
Here, try this lot
Guaranteed to hit the spot
Or I'm not Thenardier
Drinkers
Gissa glass a' rum
Landlord, over here!
Thenardier
[To himself] Right away, you scum
[To customer] Right away, M'sieur
Drinkers
God this place has gone to hell
So you tell me every year
Mine host Thenardier
He was there so they say,
At the field of Waterloo
Got there, it's true
When the fight was all through
But he knew just what to do
Crawling through the mud
So I've heard it said
Picking through the pockets
Of the English dead
He made a tidy score
From the spoils of war
Thenardier
My band of soaks
My den of dissolutes
My dirty jokes, my always pissed as newts.
My sons of whores
Spent their lives in my inn
Homing pigeons homing in
Then fly through my doors
And their money's as good as yours
Drinkers
Ain't got a clue
What he put in this stew
Must have scraped it off the street
God what a wine!
Chateau Neuf de Turpentine
Must have pressed it with his feet
Landlord over here!
Where's the bloody man?
One more for the road!
Thenardier, one more slug o' gin.
Just one more, or my old man is gonna do me in.
[Thenardier greets a new customer.]
Thenardier
Welcome, M'sieur
Sit yourself down
And meet the best
Innkeeper in town
As for the rest
All of 'em crooks
Rooking their guests
And cooking the books
Seldom do you see
Honest men like me
A gent of good intent
Who's content to be
Master of the house
Doling out the charm
Ready with a handshake
And an open palm
Tells a saucy tale
Makes a little stir
Customers appreciate a bon-viveur
Glad to do a friend a favor
Doesn't cost me to be nice
But nothing gets you nothing
Everything has got a little price!
Master of the house
Keeper of the zoo
Ready to relieve 'em
Of a sou or two
Watering the wine
Making up the weight
Pickin' up their knick-knacks
When they can't see straight
Everybody loves a landlord
Everybody's buxom friend
I do whatever pleases
Jesus! Won't I bleed 'em in the end!
Thenardier & Drinkers
Master of the house
Quick to catch yer eye
Never wants a passerby
To pass him by
Servant to the poor
Butler to the great
Comforter, philosopher,
And lifelong mate!
Everybody's boon companion
Everybody's chaperone
Thenardier
But lock up your valises
Jesus! Won't I skin you to the bone!
[To another new customer...]
Enter M'sieur
Lay down your load
Unlace your boots
And rest from the road
This weighs a ton
Travel's a curse
But here we strive
To lighten your purse
Here the goose is cooked
Here the fat is fried
And nothing's overlooked
Till I'm satisfied
Food beyond compare
Food beyond belief
Mix it in a mincer
And pretend it's beef
Kidney of a horse
Liver of a cat
Filling up the sausages
With this and that
Residents are more than welcome
Bridal suite is occupied
Reasonable charges
Plus some little extras on the side!
Charge 'em for the lice
Extra for the mice
Two percent for looking in the mirror twice
Here a little slice
There a little cut
Three percent for sleeping with the window shut
When it comes to fixing prices
There are a lot of tricks he knows
How it all increases
All those bits and pieces
Jesus! It's amazing how it grows!
Thenardier & Chorus
Master of the house
Quick to catch yer eye
Never wants a passerby
To pass him by
Servant to the poor
Butler to the great
Comforter, philosopher,
And lifelong mate!
Everybody's boon companion
Gives 'em everything he's got
Thenardier
Dirty bunch of geezers
Jesus! What a sorry little lot!
(Mme. Thenardier)
I used to dream
That I would meet a prince
But God Almighty,
Have you seen what's happened since?
Master of the house?
Isn't worth me spit!
Comforter, philosopher'
And lifelong shit!
Cunning little brain
Regular Voltaire
Thinks he's quite a lover
(But there's not much there)
What a cruel trick of nature
Landed me with such a louse
God knows how I've lasted
Living with this bastard in the house!
Thenardier & Drinkers
Master of the house!
Mme. Thenardier
Master and a half!
Thenardier & Drinkers
Comforter, philosopher
Mme. Thenardier
Don't make me laugh!
Thenardier & Drinkers
Servant to the poor
Butler to the great
Mme. Thenardier
Hypocrite and toady
And inebriate!
Thenardier & Drinkers
Everybody bless the landlord!
Everybody bless his spouse!
Thenardier
Everybody raise a glass
Mme. Thenardier
Raise it up the master's ass!
All
Everybody raise a glass to the master of the house!
Come on you old pest
Fetch a bottle of your best
What's the nectar of the day?
[Thenardier enters with a flask of wine.]
Thenardier
Guaranteed to hit the spot
Or I'm not Thenardier
Drinkers
Gissa glass a' rum
Landlord, over here!
Thenardier
[To himself] Right away, you scum
[To customer] Right away, M'sieur
Drinkers
God this place has gone to hell
So you tell me every year
Mine host Thenardier
He was there so they say,
At the field of Waterloo
Got there, it's true
When the fight was all through
But he knew just what to do
Crawling through the mud
So I've heard it said
Picking through the pockets
Of the English dead
He made a tidy score
From the spoils of war
Thenardier
My band of soaks
My den of dissolutes
My dirty jokes, my always pissed as newts.
My sons of whores
Spent their lives in my inn
Homing pigeons homing in
Then fly through my doors
And their money's as good as yours
Drinkers
Ain't got a clue
What he put in this stew
Must have scraped it off the street
God what a wine!
Chateau Neuf de Turpentine
Must have pressed it with his feet
Landlord over here!
Where's the bloody man?
One more for the road!
Thenardier, one more slug o' gin.
Just one more, or my old man is gonna do me in.
[Thenardier greets a new customer.]
Thenardier
Welcome, M'sieur
Sit yourself down
And meet the best
Innkeeper in town
As for the rest
All of 'em crooks
Rooking their guests
And cooking the books
Seldom do you see
Honest men like me
A gent of good intent
Who's content to be
Master of the house
Doling out the charm
Ready with a handshake
And an open palm
Tells a saucy tale
Makes a little stir
Customers appreciate a bon-viveur
Glad to do a friend a favor
Doesn't cost me to be nice
But nothing gets you nothing
Everything has got a little price!
Master of the house
Keeper of the zoo
Ready to relieve 'em
Of a sou or two
Watering the wine
Making up the weight
Pickin' up their knick-knacks
When they can't see straight
Everybody loves a landlord
Everybody's buxom friend
I do whatever pleases
Jesus! Won't I bleed 'em in the end!
Thenardier & Drinkers
Master of the house
Quick to catch yer eye
Never wants a passerby
To pass him by
Servant to the poor
Butler to the great
Comforter, philosopher,
And lifelong mate!
Everybody's boon companion
Everybody's chaperone
Thenardier
But lock up your valises
Jesus! Won't I skin you to the bone!
[To another new customer...]
Enter M'sieur
Lay down your load
Unlace your boots
And rest from the road
This weighs a ton
Travel's a curse
But here we strive
To lighten your purse
Here the goose is cooked
Here the fat is fried
And nothing's overlooked
Till I'm satisfied
Food beyond compare
Food beyond belief
Mix it in a mincer
And pretend it's beef
Kidney of a horse
Liver of a cat
Filling up the sausages
With this and that
Residents are more than welcome
Bridal suite is occupied
Reasonable charges
Plus some little extras on the side!
Charge 'em for the lice
Extra for the mice
Two percent for looking in the mirror twice
Here a little slice
There a little cut
Three percent for sleeping with the window shut
When it comes to fixing prices
There are a lot of tricks he knows
How it all increases
All those bits and pieces
Jesus! It's amazing how it grows!
Thenardier & Chorus
Master of the house
Quick to catch yer eye
Never wants a passerby
To pass him by
Servant to the poor
Butler to the great
Comforter, philosopher,
And lifelong mate!
Everybody's boon companion
Gives 'em everything he's got
Thenardier
Dirty bunch of geezers
Jesus! What a sorry little lot!
(Mme. Thenardier)
I used to dream
That I would meet a prince
But God Almighty,
Have you seen what's happened since?
Master of the house?
Isn't worth me spit!
Comforter, philosopher'
And lifelong shit!
Cunning little brain
Regular Voltaire
Thinks he's quite a lover
(But there's not much there)
What a cruel trick of nature
Landed me with such a louse
God knows how I've lasted
Living with this bastard in the house!
Thenardier & Drinkers
Master of the house!
Mme. Thenardier
Master and a half!
Thenardier & Drinkers
Comforter, philosopher
Mme. Thenardier
Don't make me laugh!
Thenardier & Drinkers
Servant to the poor
Butler to the great
Mme. Thenardier
Hypocrite and toady
And inebriate!
Thenardier & Drinkers
Everybody bless the landlord!
Everybody bless his spouse!
Thenardier
Everybody raise a glass
Mme. Thenardier
Raise it up the master's ass!
All
Everybody raise a glass to the master of the house!
Master Of The House is a lively and humorous song from the famous musical Les Misérables. The song is sung by the greedy and treacherous innkeeper, Thenardier. Through the song, Thenardier is seen serving drinks to his customers in his inn, but he is also scheming to extract as much money as possible from them. As the song progresses, Thenardier boasts about his many scams and reveals his true nature as a cunning and dishonest man. The chorus and the drinkers in the song praise and mock him at the same time, laughing at his tricks yet enjoying his hospitality.
Contributed by Tristan M. Suggest a correction in the comments below.
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@sophiemangan2001
"Master Of The House"
(performed by Sacha Baron Cohen, Helena Bonham Carter and Cast)
My band of soaks, my den of dissolute's
My dirty jokes, my always pissed as newts
My sons of whores spend their lives in my inn,
Homing pigeons homing in
They fly through my doors,
And they crawl out on all fours
Welcome, Monsieur, sit yourself down
And meet the best innkeeper in town
As for the rest, all of 'em crooks:
Rooking their guests and crooking the books
Seldom do you see
Honest men like me
A gent of good intent
Who's content to be
Master of the house, doling out the charm
Ready with a handshake and an open palm
Tells a saucy tale, makes a little stir
Customers appreciate a bon-viveur
Glad to do a friend a favor
Doesn't cost me to be nice
But nothing gets you nothing
Everything has got a little price!
Master of the house, keeper of the zoo
Ready to relieve 'em of a sou or two
Watering the wine, making up the weight
Pickin' up their knick-knacks when they can't see straight
Everybody loves a landlord
Everybody's bosom friend
I do whatever pleases
Jesus! Won't I bleed 'em in the end!
Master of the house, quick to catch yer eye
Never wants a passerby to pass him by
Servant to the poor, butler to the great
Comforter, philosopher, and lifelong mate!
Everybody's boon companion
Everybody's chaperone
But lock up your valises
Jesus! Won't I skin you to the bone!
Food beyond compare. Food beyond belief
Mix it in a mincer and pretend it's beef
Kidney of a horse, liver of a cat
Filling up the sausages with this and that
Residents are more than welcome
Bridal suite is occupied
Reasonable charges
Plus some little extras on the side!
(Oh Santa!)
Charge 'em for the lice, extra for the mice
Two percent for looking in the mirror twice
Here a little slice, there a little cut
Three percent for sleeping with the window shut
When it comes to fixing prices
There are a lot of tricks I knows
How it all increases, all them bits and pieces
Jesus! It's amazing how it grows!
(Oh, sorry love
Let's get something done about that)
I used to dream that I would meet a prince
But God Almighty, have you seen what's happened since?
Master of the house? Isn't worth my spit!
Comforter, philosopher' and lifelong shit!
Cunning little brain, regular Voltaire
Thinks he's quite a lover but there's not much there
What a cruel trick of nature landed me with such a louse
God knows how I've lasted living with this bastard in the house!
Master of the house!
Master and a half!
Comforter, philosopher
Don't make me laugh!
Servant to the poor, butler to the great
Hypocrite and toady and inebriate!
Everybody bless the landlord!
Everybody bless his spouse!
Everybody raise a glass
Raise it up the master's arse
Everybody raise a glass to the Master of the House!
@sophiemangan2001
Cast)
My band of soaks, my den of dissolute's
My dirty jokes, my always pissed as newts
My sons of whores spend their lives in my inn,
Homing pigeons homing in
They fly through my doors,
And they crawl out on all fours
Welcome, Monsieur, sit yourself down
And meet the best innkeeper in town
As for the rest, all of 'em crooks:
Rooking their guests and crooking the books
Seldom do you see
Honest men like me
A gent of good intent
Who's content to be
Master of the house, doling out the charm
Ready with a handshake and an open palm
Tells a saucy tale, makes a little stir
Customers appreciate a bon-viveur
Glad to do a friend a favor
Doesn't cost me to be nice
But nothing gets you nothing
Everything has got a little price!
Master of the house, keeper of the zoo
Ready to relieve 'em of a sou or two
Watering the wine, making up the weight
Pickin' up their knick-knacks when they can't see straight
Everybody loves a landlord
Everybody's bosom friend
I do whatever pleases
Jesus! Won't I bleed 'em in the end!
Master of the house, quick to catch yer eye
Never wants a passerby to pass him by
Servant to the poor, butler to the great
Comforter, philosopher, and lifelong mate!
Everybody's boon companion
Everybody's chaperone
But lock up your valises
Jesus! Won't I skin you to the bone!
Food beyond compare. Food beyond belief
Mix it in a mincer and pretend it's beef
Kidney of a horse, liver of a cat
Filling up the sausages with this and that
Residents are more than welcome
Bridal suite is occupied
Reasonable charges
Plus some little extras on the side!
(Oh Santa!)
Charge 'em for the lice, extra for the mice
Two percent for looking in the mirror twice
Here a little slice, there a little cut
Three percent for sleeping with the window shut
When it comes to fixing prices
There are a lot of tricks I knows
How it all increases, all them bits and pieces
Jesus! It's amazing how it grows!
(Oh, sorry love
Let's get something done about that)
I used to dream that I would meet a prince
But God Almighty, have you seen what's happened since?
Master of the house? Isn't worth my spit!
Comforter, philosopher' and lifelong shit!
Cunning little brain, regular Voltaire
Thinks he's quite a lover but there's not much there
What a cruel trick of nature landed me with such a louse
God knows how I've lasted living with this bastard in the house!
Master of the house!
Master and a half!
Comforter, philosopher
Don't make me laugh!
Servant to the poor, butler to the great
Hypocrite and toady and inebriate!
Everybody bless the landlord!
Everybody bless his spouse!
Everybody raise a glass
Raise it up the master's arse
Everybody raise a glass to the Master of the House!
@larafernandes1336
Welcome, Monsieur, sit yourself down
And meet the best innkeeper in town
As for the rest, all of 'em crooks:
Rooking their guests and cooking the books
Seldom do you see
Honest men like me
A gent of good intent
Who's content to be
Master of the house, doling out the charm
Ready with a handshake and an open palm
Tells a saucy tale, makes a little stir
Customers appreciate a bon-viveur
Glad to do a friend a favor
Doesn't cost me to be nice
But nothing gets you nothing
Everything has got a little price!
Master of the house, keeper of the zoo
Ready to relieve 'em of a sou or two
Watering the wine, making up the weight
Pickin' up their knick-knacks when they can't see straight
Everybody loves a landlord
Everybody's bosom friend
I do whatever pleases
Jesus! Won't I bleed 'em in the end!
Master of the house, quick to catch yer eye
Never wants a passerby to pass him by
Servant to the poor, butler to the great
Comforter, philosopher, and lifelong mate!
Everybody's boon companion
Everybody's chaperone
But lock up your valises
Jesus! Won't I skin you to the bone!
Food beyond compare. Food beyond belief
Mix it in a mincer and pretend it's beef
Kidney of a horse, liver of a cat
Filling up the sausages with this and that
Residents are more than welcome
Bridal suite is occupied
Reasonable charges
Plus some little extras on the side!
(Oh Santa!)
Charge 'em for the lice, extra for the mice
Two percent for looking in the mirror twice
Here a little slice, there a little cut
Three percent for sleeping with the window shut
When it comes to fixing prices
There are a lot of tricks I knows
How it all increases, all them bits and pieces
Jesus! It's amazing how it grows!
(Oh, sorry love
Let's get something done about that)
I used to dream that I would meet a prince
But God Almighty, have you seen what's happened since?
Master of the house? Isn't worth my spit!
Comforter, philosopher' and lifelong shit!
Cunning little brain, regular Voltaire
Thinks he's quite a lover but there's not much there
What a cruel trick of nature landed me with such a louse
God knows how I've lasted living with this bastard in the house!
Master of the house!
Master and a half!
Comforter, philosopher
Don't make me laugh!
Servant to the poor, butler to the great
Hypocrite and toady and inebriate!
Everybody bless the landlord!
Everybody bless his spouse!
Everybody raise a glass
Raise it up the master's arse
Everybody raise a glass to the Master of the House!
@mackenziesigmon898
While Voldemort was recovering, Bellatrix had to lie low for a while
@haybreach4627
Mackenzie Sigmon omg
@jillpaton5274
Omg yes
@samthebroadwaygeek2243
Yessssss I love this haha!!!
@tedmitten8832
And we mean really low. Like rock bottom low
@lilydoves12
Haha lol
@ibukimybeloved3773
The only comedic relief in this emotional rollercoaster of a movie
@1painting434
You forgot the bits where Russell Crow sings.
@adamgolec2647
RIP my sides.
@GTA5Player1
I suppose you aren't one to appreciate the comedy in hilariously bad acting.