Phair's 1993 debut studio album, Exile in Guyville, was released to acclaim; it has been ranked by Rolling Stone as one of the 500 Greatest Albums of All Time. Phair followed this with her second album, Whip-Smart (1994), which earned her a Grammy Award nomination for Best Female Rock Vocal Performance, and Whitechocolatespaceegg (1998). Ten years after the release of her debut, Phair's fourth album, Liz Phair (2003), released on Capitol Records, moved towards pop rock, earning her a mainstream audience but alienating critics.
After the release of her fifth album, Somebody's Miracle (2005), Phair left Capitol and released her sixth album Funstyle independently in 2010. In 2018, it was announced that Matador Records would be releasing a retrospective set for Phair's debut album Exile in Guyville which includes remastered recordings from her original Girly-Sound demo tapes. Phair released her seventh studio album, Soberish, in 2021.
If I Ever Pay You Back
Liz Phair Lyrics
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And I'm leaving in under ten days, it's not what I'd planned
But anyway, you know, by and large anywhere I go
I won't find anyone who loves me enough to make you look bad
All the cars on the road are driving away from here
But I'm still looking under my nose to see who I am
But anywhere I go, standing at any kind of show
That's not how it's done
But anyway, you know, by and large anywhere I go
I won't find anyone who loves me enough
If I ever pay you back
If my money and wallet's intact
I'll probably be in a box lying down
Loosely suited in black
If I ever pay you back
If my money and wallet's intact
I'll probably be in a box lying down
Loosely suited in black
Loosely suited in black
Loosely suited in black
The lyrics to Liz Phair's song "If I Ever Pay You Back" speak to the singer's uncertainty in life and her inability to stay with a partner. She acknowledges that she is leaving sooner than she had planned, which suggests that she is running away or avoiding something. Although she is searching for herself, she realizes that she won't find anyone who can give her the answers she needs, even at a show or anywhere she goes. The singer also acknowledges that she doesn't have what it takes to stay with her current partner and that she won't find someone better. This suggests that she is settling and staying with someone even though she knows it's not right for her, which is a common theme in many of Liz Phair's songs.
The chorus of the song, "If I ever pay you back, if my money and wallet's intact, I'll probably be in a box lying down, loosely suited in black," suggests that the singer doesn't see herself ever being able to pay someone back, either financially or emotionally. She sees herself as a failure, unable to succeed in life, and ultimately dying alone, represented by the image of the box and black suit.
Overall, the song speaks to the universal theme of feeling lost and uncertain in life and not knowing what to do or where to turn.
Line by Line Meaning
I don't have what it takes to stay with you
I lack the qualities to maintain a relationship with you
And I'm leaving in under ten days, it's not what I'd planned
I'm departing in less than ten days, not according to my plan
But anyway, you know, by and large anywhere I go
Regardless, everywhere I go
I won't find anyone who loves me enough to make you look bad
I won't encounter a person who would love me sufficiently to make you appear inferior
All the cars on the road are driving away from here
All the vehicles on the streets are departing from this area
But I'm still looking under my nose to see who I am
I'm still discovering who I am
But anywhere I go, standing at any kind of show
However, wherever I go, attending any type of event
I won't find anyone who'll tell me what I need to know
I won't come across someone who will advise me on what I require
That's not how it's done
That is not the procedure
If I ever pay you back
In the event that I reimburse you
If my money and wallet's intact
If the money and wallet remain whole
I'll probably be in a box lying down
I'll most likely be lying down in a box
Loosely suited in black
Wearing a loosely fitted black suit
Loosely suited in black
Wearing a loosely fitted black suit
Loosely suited in black
Wearing a loosely fitted black suit
Lyrics © OBO APRA/AMCOS
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