Lost Weekend
Lloyd Cole / Commotions Lyrics

It took a lost weekend in a hotel in Amsterdam
I had to spend a weekend in a hotel in Amsterdam, where I was lost, without direction or purpose

And double pneumonia in a single room
I got very sick and had to stay in a small room all alone, which made me feel even worse

And the sickest joke was the price of the medicine
The irony was that the medicine I needed to get better was too expensive for me to afford, which made me feel helpless and frustrated

Are you laughing at me now, may I please laugh along with you?
I feel like a fool, but I don't want you to think less of me, so I'm asking to join in on the joke and not be the only one being laughed at

This morning I woke up from a deep unquiet sleep
I woke up feeling restless and disturbed, not well-rested

With ashtray clothes and miss lonelyheart's pen
I was dressed in dirty, unkempt clothes and had the pen of someone who is also feeling lonely and unloved

With which I wrote for you a love song in tattoo
I was so desperate to show my love for you that I got a tattoo of a love song, even though it's not permanent or meaningful

Upon my palm, 'twas stolen from me when Jesus took my hand
The tattoo was on my palm, but it's no longer there because I have given my life to Jesus and left those past sins behind

You see, I
Let me explain or express myself further

I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it
I am sincere and honest in what I say, and I don't say things I don't mean

Drop me and I'll fall to pieces so easily
I'm fragile and vulnerable, and if you reject or abandon me, I'll break apart easily

I was a king bee with a head full of attitude
I acted like I was the ruler, the center of attention, with a lot of confidence and pride

Wore my heart on my sleeve like a stain
I showed my emotions and feelings openly and clearly, like a stain on my clothes that I couldn't hide

And my aim was to taboo, you
I wanted to shock or offend you, to break social norms and boundaries, to be rebellious and cool

Could we meet in the marketplace
Can we have an encounter in a public space, where everyone can see and hear us?

Did I ever, hey please, did you wound my knees?
Did you ever hurt me emotionally or physically, did you ever cause me pain or weakness?

Yeah, easy, there's nobody else to blame
It's easy to see that I am responsible for my own mistakes and failures, and I can't blame anyone else

I hang my head in a crying shame (shame)
I feel so ashamed and embarrassed that I can't even look up, and I'm crying about it

Nobody else to blame
I can't escape the reality that I am the only one responsible for my actions and their consequences

Nobody else except my sweet self, oh
I have to face the fact that I am not sweet or innocent, that I have flaws and weaknesses, and that I need to improve myself

Twenty four gone years to conclude in tears
It took me 24 long years to realize that my life has been a waste, that I have been living a lie, and that I have to change

I was a king bee with a head full of attitude
I was arrogant, selfish, and stubborn, and thought that I could do whatever I wanted

An ashtray heart on my sleeve, wounded knees
My heart was blackened by smoking and bitterness, and I showed it to others like an ugly wound that never heals

And my one love song was a tattoo upon my palm
The only way I could express my love was through a meaningless tattoo that I didn't even keep

You wrote upon me when you took my hand
You left a mark on me, a sign of your touch and affection, that I still cherish and remember

Too easily
I am too weak, too sensitive, too fragile, and too easily broken by others, by myself, and by life