Romance
Louis T. Hardin (Moondog) Lyrics

A fine romance, with no kisses
This relationship is supposed to be great, but it lacks affection.

A fine romance, my friend this is
Despite its imperfections, this is still a pretty good relationship.

We should be like a couple of hot tomatoes
We should have passionate feelings for each other.

But you're as cold as yesterday's mashed potatoes
But you don't seem to feel anything for me at all.

A fine romance, you won't nestle
You don't want to get too close to me.

A fine romance, you won't wrestle
You won't engage with me passionately.

I might as well play bridge
I might as well be doing something else.

With my old maid aunt
With someone who isn't interested in romance.

I haven't got a chance
I can't imagine us ever having a truly loving relationship.

This is a fine romance
Despite its flaws, this is still a decent relationship.

We two should be like clams in a dish of chowder
We should fit together perfectly, like two pieces of a puzzle.

But we just fizz like parts of seidlitz powder
But we don't really fit together at all.

Yes, a fine romance, with no glitches
Yes, this relationship should be perfect in every way.

A fine romance, with no beaches
A great relationship, but with no passion.

Just as hard to land as the Isle de France
Just as difficult to achieve as an unattainable goal.

A fine romance, my good fellow
This could be a great relationship, my friend.

You take romance, I'll take jello
You don't seem to be interested in romance at all.

You're calmer than the seals
You don't seem to have strong emotions or passion.

In the arctic ocean
Even animals in a harsh environment display more of an emotional range than you.

At least they flap their fins
At least they express some kind of emotion, unlike you.

To express emotion
They use physical gestures to convey their feelings.

A fine romance with no quarrels
This relationship might seem perfect, but it lacks any real depth.

With no insults and all morals
We might get along well, but there's no passion between us.

I've never mussed the crease
I've never even touched your clothes, let alone you.

In your blue serge pants
In your ordinary, unremarkable clothing.

I never get the chance
You don't seem at all interested in me or our relationship.

This is a fine romance
Even though there's no passion or attraction, we're still together.

Yes, a fine romance, my dear judges
Yes, this is a decent relationship, my esteemed colleagues.

Two old fogies who need crutches
Two old people who are stuck in their ways.

True love should have the thrills
Real love should have excitement and passion.

That a healthy crime has
That even illegal activity can generate.

Oh we don't have the thrills
We don't have any excitement or passion in our relationship.

That the march of time has
That time itself can bring.

A fine romance, my good woman
This relationship could be great, my dear.

My strong aged in the wood, woman
My lovely mature partner, who I appreciate very much.

You never give the orchids I sent a glance
You don't appreciate my romantic gestures.

No you like cactus plants
You prefer things that are practical and low-maintenance.

This is a fine romance
Even though we don't share passions or strong feelings, we're together.

A fine romance, my dear duchess
This is a decent relationship, my dear partner.

Two old fogies who need crutches
Two old people who can't handle the rigors of a passionate relationship.

True love should have the thrills
Real love should be exciting and full of passion.

You know Louie we don't have half the thrills
Louis, we don't have any of the excitement or passion real love should have.

That the march of time has
That comes with the passage of time.

You're telling me
I know, right?

Fine romance, my very good woman
This relationship could be wonderful, my dear.

My strong aged in the wood woman
My lovely mature partner, who I appreciate a great deal.

You never give the orchids I sent a glance
You don't seem to appreciate or acknowledge the romantic gestures I make.

No I prefer cactus plants
I like things that are practical and low-maintenance, not overly romantic.

This is a fine romance
Despite our lack of passion or strong feelings, we are still together.