Behind My Soul
Lucien-N-Luciano Lyrics

All this shit, it hurt my soul ooh
The experiences and hardships I've faced have weighed heavily on my emotions and being.

I got ice in my soul ooh
Despite the trauma I've endured, I've become desensitized and emotionally detached.

I done been through the worst
I've faced the most difficult and challenging situations.

And my demons wouldn’t let me go oh
My internal struggles and negative thoughts have been difficult to escape or overcome.

Lost some hommies to the streets, that shit frightening
The violent deaths of my friends in my community have been a terrifying reality.

You could learn a couple things, if you listening
If you pay attention to my experiences and struggles, you might gain some valuable insights and knowledge.

Before the racks, I was starved, ain’t nothing glistening
Before achieving financial success, I was struggling and living in poverty without any luxury or glamor.

Now I got 200K in my Amiri jeans
I am now able to afford expensive clothing with expensive fancy jeans costing as much as 200 thousand dollars.

I know mama praying for me, demons scared of me
My mother is praying for my well-being, while my internal struggles and negative thoughts are causing fear within me.

Can’t even go to sleep, shadows creeping in
My anxiety and fears follow me even when I try to rest and sleep at night.

Think back to shit I did, man I was scandalous
Reflecting on past actions, I realize that I have behaved in a deceitful or unethical manner.

Think back to growing up, man no one cared bout us
During my childhood, I and those around me were neglected and did not receive the care and support we deserved.

Can’t be seen around these hoes, they be trifling
I cannot associate with untrustworthy and disloyal individuals, especially women.

Fucked that bitch by her heart, yeah she mad at me
I have manipulated and hurt a woman emotionally, causing her to be angry with me.

These thoughts in my head they trynna play with me
My negative and intrusive thoughts are attempting to manipulate and control me.

look a nigga in his eyes before I take his life
I confront my victims and make direct eye contact with them before committing acts of violence.

It’s money coming fast, I stack this shit up for my kids
I'm making a lot of money quickly, and I'm putting this wealth aside for my children's future.

This som'in they won’t teach, sell goals that you won’t reach
There are some things you can't learn in school, and people may try to sell you unrealistic aspirations.

I persevered through times that made you niggas call it quits
I've worked hard and persisted through challenges that would have caused others to give up and quit.

I’m the golden child, I never could take a defeat
I'm highly valued and successful, and I cannot accept or handle failure.

I rose up from the dirt, was broke and that shit hurt
I came from a difficult and impoverished background, and the struggle of being poor was painful.

I did all kinda works, I didn’t have a choice
I had to do various types of jobs, and I didn't have the luxury of choice when it came to work.

The pain is in my verse, your words you can’t reverse
I express my pain and experiences through my music, and your words or actions cannot change or undo what I've been through.

I do this shit for Hommie, still do this shit for Skobi
I am committed to my friends, past and present, and will continue to work hard for them and their legacies.

I do this shit for Maxxi, got dreams to stack a billi
I am also working towards my own financial aspirations, striving to accumulate a billion dollars in wealth.

Who’s fake and who’s real? need niggas who won’t squeal
It's difficult to differentiate between authentic and fake people, and I need to surround myself with trustworthy individuals who won't snitch or reveal my secrets.

These voices in my head, they make a nigga preach
The voices and insecurities in my head have a strong influence on me and make me feel compelled to speak out.

Keep counting up the dead, got families to feed
While I mourn the loss of loved ones, I must continue to make money in order to provide for my own family's well-being.