Madball is a NYHC band formed in 1988. The project started after Agnostic F… Read Full Bio ↴Madball is a NYHC band formed in 1988. The project started after Agnostic Front frontman Roger Miret let his younger half-brother Freddy Cricien take the microphone and perform lead vocals during shows. Madball participated in the 1995 'N.Y.H.C.' documentary. Along with Agnostic Front, Vietnom, Bulldoze, Resistance, H2O and hip-hop group Special Teamz, they are part of New York's DMS Crew. They have released recordings on Roadrunner, Epitaph, Ferret, and Good Fight Music.

Current lineup:
Freddy "Madball" Cricien (vocals)
Jorge Guerra (bass)
Mike Gurnari (guitar)
Mike Justian (drums)

Discography:
1994 - Set It Off
1996 - Demonstrating My Style
1998 - Look My Way
2000 - Hold It Down
2005 - Legacy
2007 - Infiltrate the System
2010 - Empire
2014 - Hardcore Lives
2018 - For the Cause

EPs
1989 - Ball of Destruction
1992 - Droppin' Many Suckers
2004 - N.Y.H.C. EP
2012 - Rebellion

www.madballnyhc.com

Heavenhell
Madball Lyrics

Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴

I'm calling
I'm calling out, I'm calling, is anyone listening?
I'm calling
I'm calling out, I'm calling, are you listening?
Cause I'm trying to fight it with all my heart and soul,
Strength and hope, is it all my fault?
I can't deny it, sometimes I lose control
I lose all hope

God save me now
From my past and present sins once again
Please give me the peacefulness of my youth
That I've never had
I keep it all inside, for the sake of pride
I will not disrespect my family
Only you know what I hide

I'm calling
I'm calling out, I'm calling, are you listening?
Cause I'm trying to fight it with all my heart and soul,
Strength and hope, is it all my fault?
I can't deny it, sometimes I lose control
I lose all hope

Until then, it feels like
I'm caught between
Heaven and Hell

Please take away the sins of me and my father

Give me the strength to prevail
If you forgive me, then I'll forgive myself

Overall Meaning

Madball's "Heavenhell" is a powerful and emotional plea to God for guidance, forgiveness, and strength. The song speaks to the struggle of wrestling with past mistakes and the desire to be a better person, while feeling caught between the forces of good and evil. The opening lines, "God help me/Guide me towards righteousness Lord, once again/Please give me back the innocence of my youth/That was taken from me so long ago," express a deep desire to be free from the burden of one's past sins and to be redeemed in the eyes of God. The line "Out of my control/I do not lay the blame on anyone/Only you can save my soul" suggests a recognition of personal responsibility for one's actions, while also acknowledging the need for divine intervention to find inner peace.

The chorus serves as a powerful refrain, with the singer calling out to God for help and questioning whether anyone is listening. The lines "Cause I'm trying to fight it with all my heart and soul/Strength and hope, is it all my fault?/I can't deny it, sometimes I lose control/I lose all hope" are particularly poignant, highlighting the constant internal struggle to resist temptation and the sometimes overwhelming feeling of being powerless in the face of one's own weaknesses. The closing lines, "Please take away the sins of me and my father/Give me the strength to prevail/If you forgive me, then I'll forgive myself" offer a glimmer of hope and a reminder that it is possible to move forward and find redemption.

Line by Line Meaning

God help me
Asking for divine intervention

Guide me towards righteousness Lord, once again
Requesting guidance to become morally upright

Please give me back the innocence of my youth
Asking for a return to an earlier, more innocent time before being corrupted

That was taken from me so long ago
Expressing that the loss of innocence occurred in the distant past

Out of my control
Acknowledging that the loss of innocence was not his fault

I do not lay the blame on anyone
Refusing to blame others for his loss of innocence

Only you can save my soul
Believing that only God can grant redemption from sins

I'm calling
Asking for assistance from a higher power

I'm calling out, I'm calling, is anyone listening?
Looking for confirmation that someone is listening to his pleas for help

Cause I'm trying to fight it with all my heart and soul,
Highlighting the intensity of his struggle to overcome temptation

Strength and hope, is it all my fault?
Questioning whether his weaknesses are self-inflicted

I can't deny it, sometimes I lose control
Admitting to occasional loss of discipline or self-regulation

I lose all hope
Feeling hopeless when unable to resist temptation

God save me now
Asking for immediate salvation

From my past and present sins once again
Requesting forgiveness for past and current wrongdoings

Please give me the peacefulness of my youth
Asking for inner peace and calm

That I've never had
Emphasizing that he has never been at peace

I keep it all inside, for the sake of pride
Hiding his struggles and weaknesses to maintain his dignity

I will not disrespect my family
Vowing not to bring shame or dishonor to his kin

Only you know what I hide
Acknowledging that God is aware of his hidden inner struggles

Until then, it feels like
Indicating that his current situation is prolonged and ongoing

I'm caught between
Feeling stuck in a difficult situation

Heaven and Hell
Referring to the conflict between good and evil

Please take away the sins of me and my father
Requesting absolution for his personal sins and those of his forebears

Give me the strength to prevail
Asking for emotional fortitude and resilience to overcome temptation

If you forgive me, then I'll forgive myself
Offering to forgive himself if his higher power absolves him of sins

Contributed by Daniel D. Suggest a correction in the comments below.

To comment on or correct specific content, highlight it

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Most interesting comments from YouTube:

Gat

6y↑19

[Heavenhell]

God help me

Guide me towards righteousness Lord, once again
Please give me back the innocence of my youth
That was taken from me so long ago
Out of my control
I do not lay the blame on anyone
Only you can save my soul,

I'm calling
I'm calling out, I'm calling, is anyone listening?
I'm calling
I'm calling out to you, I'm calling, are you listening?
Cause I'm trying to fight it with all my heart and soul,
Strength and hope, is it all my fault?
I can't deny it, sometimes I lose control
I lose all hope

God save me now
From my past and present sins once again
Please give me the peacefulness of my youth
That I've never had
I keep it all inside, for the sake of pride
I will not disrespect my family
Only you know what I hide

I'm calling
I'm calling out, I'm calling, is anyone listening?
I'm calling
I'm calling out to you, I'm calling, are you listening?
Cause I'm trying to fight it with all my heart and soul,
Strength and hope, is it all my fault?
I can't deny it, sometimes I lose control
I lose all hope

It feels like
I'm caught between
Heaven and Hell

Please take away the sins of me and my father
Give me the strength to prevail
If you forgive me, then I'll forgive myself
Until then, I'm caught between Heaven and Hell

[Behind these walls] 3:06 (official video preview)

There is no place for the weak here
This is the home of the wicked men
Even if I'm just passing through
At any time my life could end
I will die fighting if I have to
I will bring one of you with me
I'm only here for moment in time
It could become an eternity

I'll take with me what I see behind these walls
So that I'll never forget when I start to slip or fall
Wait, remember those behind the walls
Who live in regret and some won't make it out at all

Don't forget

Alexandru Ovedenie

6y↑100

God help me
Guide me towards righteousness Lord, once again
Please give me back the innocence of my youth
That was taken from me so long ago
Out of my control
I do not lay the blame on anyone
Only you can save my soul,

I'm calling
I'm calling out, I'm calling, is anyone listening?
I'm calling
I'm calling out, I'm calling, are you listening?
Cause I'm trying to fight it with all my heart and soul,
Strength and hope, is it all my fault?
I can't deny it, sometimes I lose control
I lose all hope

God save me now
From my past and present sins once again
Please give me the peacefulness of my youth
That I've never had
I keep it all inside, for the sake of pride
I will not disrespect my family
Only you know what I hide

I'm calling
I'm calling out, I'm calling, are you listening?
Cause I'm trying to fight it with all my heart and soul,
Strength and hope, is it all my fault?
I can't deny it, sometimes I lose control
I lose all hope

Until then, it feels like
I'm caught between
Heaven and Hell

Please take away the sins of me and my father
Give me the strength to prevail
If you forgive me, then I'll forgive myself

Ning Rum

2y↑2

God help me
Guide me towards righteousness Lord, once again
Please give me back the innocence of my youth
That was taken from me so long ago
Out of my control
I do not lay the blame on anyone
Only you can save my soul

I'm calling
I'm calling out, I'm calling, is anyone listening?
I'm calling
I'm calling out, I'm calling, are you listening?
Cause I'm trying to fight it with all my heart and soul
Strength and hope, is it all my fault?
I can't deny it, sometimes I lose control
I lose all hope

God save me now
From my past and present sins once again
Please give me the peacefulness of my youth
That I've never had
I keep it all inside, for the sake of pride
I will not disrespect my family
Only you know what I hide

I'm calling
I'm calling out, I'm calling, are you listening?
Cause I'm trying to fight it with all my heart and soul
Strength and hope, is it all my fault?
I can't deny it, sometimes I lose control
I lose all hope

Until then, it feels like
I'm caught between
Heaven and Hell
Please take away the sins of me and my father
Give me the strength to prevail
If you forgive me, then I'll forgive myself

Niko staza

All comments from YouTube:

Jason Sanders

6y↑157

Fucking song really resonates with me--- years of being a slimey needle junkie meth addict wore me to the core--- 2+ years clean and now I'm fucking UNSTOPPABLE!! Amazing what sobriety can do😉

🌾 Baccharis Coridifolia 🌾

@John Gillenwalters you will win this fight 🔥

🌾 Baccharis Coridifolia 🌾

@Ben Hammer bless you too, dude!

🌾 Baccharis Coridifolia 🌾

Always strong my man! Congrats and HAIL to those balls, guts and heart you have there.

Trevor Reznik

good job i hope you keep it up. here also struggling with it but wont bring me down!

Tr4sh-Oxide

I´m happy that Hardcore helped you! Stay true, stay clean! Greetz from Germany!

17 More Replies...

Gat

6y↑19

uget1life

10y↑73

Why is it, that those of us in this community " GET IT! " , but in reguards to spirituality, the rest of the world can't. This song is reality and hits the nail on the head. It ain't black and white, liberal or conservative, republican or democrat. ..... its the personal journey and discovery of the spiritual part of humanity within us all. This song tells all that in REAL terms. Awesome songs. ....get the chance to hear it live....you'll be on your knees and the tears will flow. No church can do that.

cedars of lebanon

Blood of Jesus.

THE WOOKIEE

@6reat6oat6od sheep are delicious

Jacob

some churches can do it. not for you and me tho. this song is a fucking hymn

Andrew

U said ! Same

Andrew

Aye men. Gets replayed 👊🏿💪🏼🙏

8 More Replies...

Joshua Tree

9y↑72

Still rocking this song after 10+ years. I love it!

Bobby Dazzzler

Yeah bro why not! This Iis pretty much the end of the sick times meaning best of the best era , like machine heads best albums Davidian n More things change! Time lesssss! Ha then youtubeauto playplays S*T* you can't bring me down! Yeah brother these songs/bands changed life!! That's why I listen to bands like Abominable Putridity n Waking the Cadaver/DFetus !!! Life's getting better don't listen to the tired idiots that say music is crap now! They know fuckall🤘

YoungGrasshopper

4y↑1

I come back too 💜

Dan Vicars

5y↑1

This song taught me how to live . No fear of me then you will learn. If no one see the walls I built by myself and with out shame . Why should I hide, when I know my blood boil . In the dead of winter , all it takes is one breath . To set the evil men to lose there attitude . So the walls I built is anger so when I come out better walk away

boomboxlegends

11y↑5

They are one of the few bands that always makes good Hardcore albums.

cmm98

11y↑27

i can relate was a metal guy for some time n listened to hardcore on the side but now im more turned to pure hardcore everything about the scene is awesome music shows unity everything

Trevor Reznik

2y↑1

@Adelin Albescu thanks, we will fight till the end

Adelin Albescu

2y↑1

@Trevor Reznik thanks i wish the same to you brother!!

Trevor Reznik

2y↑1

@Adelin Albescu same story than me, keep it up mate!

Adelin Albescu

2y↑1

I was the same dude i listened to Extreme Metal because i had a hard time in my life and i thought i was though enough to enter to that scene but i realized that music was not for me and recently i Switched to Hardcore and it was way better these bands have the positivity and motivation i was looking for in the first place

Trevor Reznik

2y↑1

was better, many years ago. talking in general of course. anyway, well done mate!

shadowghost4

17y↑5

Love Madball. Real music. Great hardcore band.

szkcs

10y↑42

i seriously don't get why they didn't put this long version to the studio release ... that bonus part at the end of the song is just so ballsy that it tears the roof off!!!

Comic Art Videos

Skott Coucill

5y↑1

always thought that!

Pantera Slayer

10y↑12

This is not a bonus it's an extract from "behind these walls"

1 More Replies...

Alexandru Ovedenie

6y↑100

Christian Jackson

If help is what you need, then GROW UP!!

Sola Iams

🐱
Nudff said

Miloš Zorić

No gods - no masters! Only Madball, and Agnostic Front ;)

Ayeah lily

4y↑1

HALLELUJAh HALLELUJAh HALLELUJAh HALLELUJAh HALLELUJAh HALLELUJAh HALLELUJAh AMEN Amen Amen Amen Amen Amen
GOD is always mercyfull
I know he will listen to both of us AMEN

Linda Marsden

4y↑2

Im calling out for you and it feels like I’m caught between heaven and hell

1 More Replies...

Chris H

4y↑2

Great song. Powerful message. The real struggle down here is good versus evil, hope versus despair, not left-wing versus right-wing.

MKC

3y↑8

HARDCORE STILL LIVES!!❤️

Nobby Stiles the Toothless Tiger

3y↑9

Wow... this is great! I can listen to this all day long!!

Ning Rum

2y↑2

God help me
Guide me towards righteousness Lord, once again
Please give me back the innocence of my youth
That was taken from me so long ago
Out of my control
I do not lay the blame on anyone
Only you can save my soul

I'm calling
I'm calling out, I'm calling, is anyone listening?
I'm calling
I'm calling out, I'm calling, are you listening?
Cause I'm trying to fight it with all my heart and soul
Strength and hope, is it all my fault?
I can't deny it, sometimes I lose control
I lose all hope

God save me now
From my past and present sins once again
Please give me the peacefulness of my youth
That I've never had
I keep it all inside, for the sake of pride
I will not disrespect my family
Only you know what I hide

I'm calling
I'm calling out, I'm calling, are you listening?
Cause I'm trying to fight it with all my heart and soul
Strength and hope, is it all my fault?
I can't deny it, sometimes I lose control
I lose all hope

Until then, it feels like
I'm caught between
Heaven and Hell
Please take away the sins of me and my father
Give me the strength to prevail
If you forgive me, then I'll forgive myself

plavijadranband1

5y↑1

Amazing song and lyrics!

Michael Chavez

4y↑6

14 yrs now wow!What he spits on that last verse that second song?Thats the realest shit ever spoken!!”Ill take with me what I’ve seen behind these walls,so I never forget when I start to slip n fall..”God Bless Freddy Madball

Dirty Bird

4y↑3

That breakdown is perfect. True hardcore style breakdown. Madball, old school OG hardcore. Love this shit

uget1life

11y↑3

I have always been a long time warrior for heavy metal. Through the years, the early days, I always kept one eye on hardcore where my buddies did not. The punk/hardcore bands like Exploited, Agnostic Front, All Out War, that became my thing. The last 20 years have been tough. 15 yrs ago, I became a full fledged hardcore manic. Songs like this, the friends I have made has taught me the true meaning of the phrase " Hardcore SAVED my life"

raidermaxx23

so how do you feel now that it doesnt really exist anymore, and has been replaced by metalcore millenials

Lucas Pramadyta

5y↑39

2019, and still rock'in

jj white

4y↑1

still my favourite hardcore band to this day , 23 years and always gonna be til i die - kings of nyhc

RONE FAION

3y↑3

One of the best bands in HARDCORE

Dirty Bird

That breakdown is so tough. Straight hardcore love it

Nick V

It feels like I'm caught between heaven and hell! LOVE that break down after.
2:39

Langemarck

4y↑1

beautiful days when good music was still being made

Dammpe

3y↑5

I want this on spotify...

Blastryan

@Ryo-lence its not working.. (shows gray)

Ryo-lence

@Ai Wahid it’s there. on the album “legacy”

Ai Wahid

Agree

justin time

What a very inspiring tough video..gives me positive vibration..thank u madball...!!!

Joe

4y↑1

Love this tune!!!!!!

marec54

14y↑12

RESPECT FOR SONG OF THE YEAR !!!!

Nyles Lehnen

5y↑1

Thats a great song - just now heard it and it kicks ass

Kyle Mc

8y↑5

Fucking sick. Going to Chicago in a couple weeks to see these brothers 🤘👍🔨

AtlasIndustries

12y

these guys deserve so much more.

BRICKTOP

5y↑5

I saw Madball over 10 years ago, in Germany. The song Live is Epic!

pillepalle

3y↑3

My very first stage diving was during this song.
Good old memories!

Joseph Vicars

7y↑14

this song means a lot to me , it brings color to me . does anyone feel that way?

Austin Moehring

I liked this song since 2006 and it helped me all through school. No one really turned me on to them except my curiosity of music from a Loud, Fast, Rules! Mag. I always felt this song was enough Madball for me. Then I liked their times are changing song. Now I heard their new shit and now I love all their shit.

Penelope Snopes

4y↑12

I'm listening with all my heart and soul.

Chad deez

I'm calling out to you...

OskarsenNn nNn

11y↑4

El hardcore cambió mi vida. OLOC !!! mis respetos desde España . Actitud.

raidermaxx23

6y↑16

OH MAN THIS WAS ALREADY 12 YEARS AGO... still THE BEST SONG EVER

Runar Rike Born

4y↑1

Omen, this is 4 years to be 24 years ago....hahahaha

boomboxlegends

11y↑1

This and Set it off are my 2 favorite Madball albums. Hardcore lives.

Marco DiVaio

10y↑5

Kozak nuta!

TheDziadek1977

proste!

soilentmichi

17y

Raw power with brain-grooving sound. i love this

whatinspiresu

16y↑1

NYHC Still Goin Strong!!!! legends in their own time. never miss madball. never.

Sphinx 10

5y↑28

I'm 44 and still pick up change this album kills it stay old school don't be a new fool hail from strong island NY

Matt Feli

Strong island boys 631 till I’m done

Glenn Ryder

4y↑1

Hey remember deja one

Kenneth Arango

4y↑5

One of the greatest religious metal songs ever!;...)

4ÆM

*Hardcore, no metal.

sammiiboyy

17y

Went yesterday nigth to a concert with them... These guys rock solid

Michael Viola

6y↑1

amazing history being made real music real people real struggle

Black Jesus

This song made me cry it reminds me of my childhood

Adam Hurley

4y↑6

what a banger!!!! \m/

xSmashHeaven

11y

god they're too good

Azul Falcon

Hardcore still lives!

angelo millal

17y↑1

excelnet fue un sueñlo verlos vistoi en vivo!! saludos desde santiago de chile!!! LA BANDERA HARDCORE

Junier Escartín - Abioye Gavriil Yegor

Diez años de sabrosa música.

Jeff C

4y↑10

Love hearing a message about owning your transgressions. This new generation can use this advice.

Billy Whizz

15y

quality tune, quality band

sxekjb

17y↑5

DMS crew. one of the best bands to see live. hardcore musts: sick of it all/7 seconds/madball/agnostic front/bury your dead( just kidding)

Underground Vibrations

12y

Une tuerie!

Ant Flores

2y↑1

Headbangers ball days! God bless!

Mr Feast

4y↑4

The words he spits strikes deep .. you can't help but admire these verses

Mr Feast

4y↑1

@Viper yup

Viper

4y↑1

Ikr

Eder Martinez Lino

Hey, guys could you please liberate this album on Spotify Brazil??? Thankssss 🤟🏻

Thomas B

12y↑1

Siked to see these guys march 7th, looking forward to a brutal show

Darkly Wraith

16y↑1

GREATEST HARDOCRE BAND I HEARD

sleepybrew

3y↑2

that is some really good shit. especially loud. i love the ending

Γρηγόρης Μπελίτσος

Γάμησε το τραγούδι!!

raybeez55

6y↑2

i been listening to madball for well over 20 yrs there a great hardcore band nuff said...im catholic and belive in god but in all the years i been listening to this bad ive never heard anyone bad mouth them like i have in this post....i lokk at this as a great song and there music is still heavy as fuck..just my opinion

Romulo Camargo

Not unto us, O LORD, not unto us, but unto thy name give glory. Greetings From Brazil.

Chad deez

3y↑3

This song is deep af for those that are listening...

Kevin W

NYC hardcore groove, digging this.

flakon1986

11y

Zajebiście zagrali w Polsce!!!! Bielsko-Biała pamiętne spóźnienie do RudeBOY.

Denis Monette

This kicks ass man!!

frantic3110

13y

If you have any chance to see Madball live GO! They are fuckin' AWESOME!

demonicious saint

17y

it feels like im caught between heaven and hell this song and band are great and owning hear in the philippines

Niko staza

Nahuel Cyrox

Totalmente Adictivo! *-*

Guillermo Ortega

3y↑1

AWESOME

Attila Szilárd Simon

6y↑1

I just keep listening it !!!

Brandon Willingham

Holy God...Holy Mighty One...Holy Immortal!!!!!☦️ keep the faith!!!!

Jeverarts

4y↑2

13 year later just saw em play tonight, always been my favlrite song. Requested and they played it. I lost my shit.

Frank Jaz

When this shit came out wasn't a band around my area not fueled my trying to duplicate the kind of shows that were happening...Hardcore!!!

p a c h y x s

17y

grande mad ball kings of hardcore latino 100%

Sandy Sulistyo Wibowo

Kickass beat!

Skott Coucill

5y↑1

that ending part. HARD!

ritschmast0r

12y

saw them yesterday. AWESOME

kris shaya

10y↑6

zajebiste

Wojtek Wojtek

9y↑1

*najlepsze ;D

razem ponad wszystkim

9y↑8

porywa jak UFO !

Ivan Delen

7y↑4

Pure fucking hardcore

james marketti

Such a real message

Bartosz Naperty

3y↑5

For the sake of His sorrowful Passion, have mercy on us and on the whole world.

Dexter J

5y↑1

This has a real "I lift weights to avoid getting beat up" vibe to it

Sub Konshis

4y↑1

I see nothing wrong with this.

Linda Marsden

4y↑1

So do I put madball on and I’m an animal rock on man

Demaret Sebastien

6y↑1

ENFIN DU HARDCORE QUI PARLE DE DIEU God save me now ! NYHC 💪👍👌✌✊👊

Langi Beats

5y↑5

Getting old. Remember when this album came out.

Jeff Carmo

8y↑69

Nothing will get you more pumped than NYHC.

Pilgrim 4 Yehoshua

what about meth?

jj white

4y↑2

@Langi Beats rap haha ok

realitySX

@Bad Seed with madball playin in the back ... epic

Gee Harrington

5y↑4

@Langi Beats thats exactly what NYHC is

Kaylon Singhurst

@Bad Seed lol good one

3 More Replies...

Jason Millers

On this day, 22nd May, 2021, I have come across this band. Late, yes, but totally worth it.

Test321

2021 still standing strong !!

Michael Vicario

Ggmy momcall day1ync NYC 69er lone wolf

THEUNHINGEDSANITY

saw em at Sounds of the Underground '05. What a great festival. Hoya was cool as fuck!

Oink Boink

One of the last old good Madball style albums. Not compared to DMS, or Set it Off, or Look my Way, but still strong and good. Compare that era of Madball, with their latest ''punk'' rock craps... RIP.

meathead919

Bands evolve. People evolve. You wouldn't want Maball to release stuff that sounds like Set it Off for 20 years do you.

adiieess adiieess

5y↑1

крут не ты а музыка твоих ребят!

The Shelf TV

This is fucking amazing

Shaun Von Rose

3:39 Oh fuck yeah,, So intense.. I wanna go apeshit crazy in a hallway like that..

Steven Weedman

This kicks ass!

REMIHUSE

Best madball Song ever

bill d

12y↑1

reminds me of the good old days ..madball,25 ta life neglect,mind over matter,sick of it all,life of agony ,biohazard,V.O.D at the pwac..coney island high..the roxy in hunington..wish i could have those days back

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