Disorder
Mallavora Lyrics

Disorder
The chaotic state of my mind and emotions

It's taking over
My disorder is becoming overwhelming and all-consuming

It's in your head he said
Someone belittling my struggles by dismissing them as imaginary or insignificant

You seem fine to me
People seem to think I'm perfectly fine because they can't see my internal turmoil

What a mystery...
It's difficult for others to understand the complexity and severity of my disorder

I can't take this anymore
I've reached my breaking point and can no longer handle the pain and torment

Got no cure
There is no known remedy or solution for my disorder

You can't control her
My disorder cannot be controlled or restrained

Taking over me
My disorder is gradually overpowering and consuming my entire being

This searing pain
The intense and agonizing physical pain I experience

That's in my jaw
The pain I feel specifically in my jaw area

I wanna
I desire

Just rip it out
To forcefully remove the source of pain from my body

And hurl my blood
To forcefully expel my own blood in a violent and desperate act

At the wall
In a display of frustration and anger towards my disorder

So disempowered
Feeling completely powerless and without control over my own body and mind

I've no control
I lack any ability to influence or manage my disorder

Vulnerable
Exposed and susceptible to the destructive forces of my disorder

Don't even pretend like you would ever understand
It's futile to expect others to truly comprehend the depth and impact of my disorder

Sometimes my head
Occasionally, my mind

Goes up in flames
Becomes engulfed in intense emotional turmoil and distress

It burns me
It causes me immense mental and emotional anguish

Licks at my teeth
The pain spreads and affects even the smallest details of my existence

I get so sick
My disorder makes me physically and mentally ill

Don't touch me
I can't tolerate any physical contact due to the sensitivity and pain caused by my disorder

Think I'm weak?
Do you believe my disorder makes me feeble or insignificant?

You wanna swap?
Would you willingly exchange your own health and well-being for my disorder?

Happily
Without hesitation or reservation

Invisible…
My disorder is invisible to the naked eye, hidden beneath a facade of normalcy

The patient looks healthy
Despite my disorder, my outward appearance suggests good health

Ha!
A sarcastic exclamation to express disbelief or mockery

Can you see me now
Challenge to make others truly see and acknowledge my disorder

You've not been looking hard enough
Accusing others of failing to recognize the signs and struggles of my disorder

I won't be silent anymore
I refuse to suppress or hide my disorder any longer, I will speak up and demand to be heard

Sometimes I hate this body
At times, I despise my own physical form due to the pain and suffering caused by my disorder

When you look at me
When people see me

Things aren't what they seem
The true nature of my disorder is not apparent at first glance

Pain is all I see
My entire world is filled with nothing but pain and agony caused by my disorder

I'm not getting better
My condition is not improving or showing signs of recovery

I don't want your prayer
I don't seek or desire empty gestures of sympathy or well-wishes, I need real understanding and support