Matilda achieved a life goal by supporting Arlo Parks, Beabadoobee and The Staves on tour – who, alongside Laura Marling, were her initial musical inspirations.
If Only
Matilda Mann Lyrics
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Who daydreams too much about wasting their youth
And I shouldn't care, and I shouldn't care, but I do
And I shouldn't stay up until 2 AM
Hopelessly wondering what I can mend
And I shouldn't care, and I shouldn't stare, but I do
And if only I was somebody you wanted
Someone you know that wouldn't leave
I know that's never been me
Strange how you don't know just how I think
'Cause I read your mind like it's written with ink
Scribbles and mess, but lines that still play with my heart
And if only I was somebody you wanted
Just for the day, but you wanted
Someone you know that wouldn't leave
I know it's not what you need
I wrote your name seventeen times
Just to figure out when, figure out why
And it's starting again, it's strange, I don't know
Why you would stay if you knew you would go
And you called out to me, desperately weak
With something to say, if you only could speak
And I tried to pretend, I just can't deny
That I'd lie just for you if you passed me tonight
If only I was somebody you wanted
Just for the day, but you wanted
Someone you know that wouldn't leave
I know that'd never be me
I know that'd never be me
The lyrics to Matilda Mann's song "If Only" convey feelings of uncertainty and longing in a one-sided relationship. The singer acknowledges that they shouldn't be looking for someone like the person they desire, who daydreams about wasting their youth and seems uninterested in commitment. Despite knowing this, the singer can't help but care and stay up late at night, hoping to fix things. The line "And if only I was somebody you wanted" reflects the singer's yearning to be valued by the other person, even if just for a day. However, they understand that they are not the type of person the other desires, someone who wouldn't leave. The singer feels a deep connection with the other person, as if they can read their mind, but is aware that their feelings are not reciprocated in the same way.
The lyrics convey a sense of longing and self-doubt, as the singer grapples with their unrequited feelings. They repeatedly question their worth and their place in the other person's life. The line "I wrote your name seventeen times, just to figure out when, figure out why" suggests that the singer is trying to analyze and understand their own emotions about the situation. There is a hint of desperation in the lyrics, as the singer contemplates lying just for the other person's attention or validation.
Overall, "If Only" delves into the complexity of unrequited love, self-doubt, and the longing for someone who may never reciprocate those feelings.
Line by Line Meaning
I shouldn't look for someone like you
I shouldn't search for a person who daydreams excessively about wasting their youth
Who daydreams too much about wasting their youth
Who excessively fantasizes about squandering their time in youth
And I shouldn't care, and I shouldn't care, but I do
And despite knowing I shouldn't, I still have feelings and concern
And I shouldn't stay up until 2 AM
And it's not advisable to stay awake until 2 AM
Hopelessly wondering what I can mend
Hopelessly pondering what aspects I can fix
And I shouldn't care, and I shouldn't stare, but I do
And although I shouldn't care or gaze, I find myself doing so
And if only I was somebody you wanted
And if only I were a person you desired
Just for the day, but you wanted
Just temporarily, but it was your desire
Someone you know that wouldn't leave
A person known to you who wouldn't depart
I know that's never been me
I am aware that I have never fulfilled that role
Strange how you don't know just how I think
It's peculiar how you lack understanding of my thought process
'Cause I read your mind like it's written with ink
Because I comprehend your thoughts as if they were inked on a page
Scribbles and mess, but lines that still play with my heart
Random scribbles and chaos, yet they still have an emotional impact on me
I wrote your name seventeen times
I inscribed your name seventeen times
Just to figure out when, figure out why
Just to ascertain the timing and reasons
And it's starting again, it's strange, I don't know
And the cycle is beginning anew, it's peculiar, I'm unsure
Why you would stay if you knew you would go
Why you would remain if you were aware you'd eventually depart
And you called out to me, desperately weak
And you reached out to me, in a desperate and feeble state
With something to say, if you only could speak
With a message to convey, if only you were able to express it
And I tried to pretend, I just can't deny
And I attempted to feign, but I cannot reject
That I'd lie just for you if you passed me tonight
That I would deceive solely for you if you crossed my path tonight
If only I was somebody you wanted
If only I were a person you desired
Just for the day, but you wanted
Just temporarily, but it was your wish
Someone you know that wouldn't leave
A person known to you who wouldn't depart
I know that'd never be me
I am aware that I would never fit that description
I know that'd never be me
I know that I would never fulfill that role
Lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC
Written by: Jordan Rakei, Matilda Mann
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
@NhiTran-qz2fs
This is such a beautiful song. I haven’t had these kinds of feelings for so many years and this song takes me right back to that kind of cathartic, soul-crushing, intoxicating, yet undeniable love. Can’t wait for the full EP Matilda!
@Moonsong_
her vocals and lyricism are something else, also the production is amazing. Can't understand why she didn't blow up on tik tok yet to be honest. Love you ❤🩹❤🩹❤🩹❤🩹
@everydaywrites
she deserves so much bigger platform than tiktok
@angel-hy6py
Rainy day, warm mug of coffee, listening to this song...❤ You are amazing, Matilda, I hope your songs become very famous!
@godofwar4688
This song brought me to tears.. thank you for such meaningful soulful music..😢❤
@Ivan1Ag
Your songs are like a quiet rainy night, a book and a mug of coffee and the smell of foggy candle
@kacey-janec2711
Such a beautiful song that breaks your heart, but makes you feel seen. ❤
@sieloveotters
that acoustic guitar opening is just insane ❤
@annabeth0212
This song is just so lovely and nice. I love all the strings and how perfectly they melt together with her voice. ❤
@lucileniquet-seyer7278
it has been a day full of me singing in loop the chorus because like I know he doesnt and will never want me like I want him but like, delusion ✨💫