Inspired by his affinity for Beat Down and 90s New York metallic hardcore. Ben Levi (Cutthroat) had played with drummer Alfred Santa Cruz, Bassist Miguel Vasquez and Guitarist Marty Cole(Hoods/Arcline) in several other projects through out the last decade so they were no strangers to getting creative together. After playing their first show to a packed house the boys never looked back . An Ambitious release produced by Nick Jett of Terror, and Mastered by Matt Hyde, (lionheart, hatebreed, deftones) Scandalous Jointz fuses together the visual aesthetic and presentation of more thought provoking heavy acts with the sonic ferocity and energy of hardcore. In 2018 Matriarchs parted ways with vocalist Richard Barthel. After teaming up with Jeremy Valentyne and Brandon Wolfe to produce their new release, adding veteran Carlos Pagan to the line up on guitar, David Rubenhold on bass, and meeting new Vocalist K Enagonio during the Pandemic, the band found the new fire it needed. In K the band finds its truest voice. Over the quarantine they wrote their 2nd full length Year of The Rat. 2022 Saw the band touring the United States and Europe as well as adding 2nd guitarist Joe Kenney (See Through You/First Blood) and self releasing an EP "The Shape Of Cunts To Come" adding Melodic and Industrial Elements to their music. The Band is set to take their proper place on the throne of modern metalcore.
Cocaine Cowboys
Matriarchs Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
When I was young, a kid
Then I was plagued by death
I was suffocating
I could use a friend
She’d be lying
She’d be lying
Liar
She never listened
I tipped over the edge
I’ve been over the edge
Think about it all
Think about the time
Think about the past
Think about life
Think about life
When I was younger
Think of times
That made me wonder
Do I always think about this place
That my a-agony sank in
I just think about it
In my head
In my head
You say you want a killer
I’ll show you everything
You say you want a monster
I’ll be your enemy
I’ve seen it all
I’ve been the one who always missed the mark
I’ve burned the bridge inside this emptiness
I’ve felt it enter my heart again
It’s been burned deep inside of every single slit in the skin
I’ll cut through the pain
Assaulted again
Assaulting my brain
Cuz every single part of this is bursting the seams
Bursting the seams
It’s Bursting the seams
You and I will take
My empty heart away
Who am I to stay
This happy inside of hell
So I just take a deep breath
And murder
I kiss fire and
I can’t take this anymore
I swear I’ve got to stay inside of this
Hell that I am in
"Cocaine Cowboys" by Matriarchs is a song that delves into the emotional struggles and pain experienced by the singer. The lyrics paint a vivid picture of their inner turmoil and the desire to release their pent-up frustration.
The opening lines, "I just want to break my fists for everything I missed. When I was young, a kid, then I was plagued by death," suggest a deep-rooted dissatisfaction with their past and a sense of loss. It implies that there were missed opportunities or unfulfilled dreams, and this burden has haunted them throughout their life. The mention of death alludes to the emotional heaviness they carry, possibly due to the loss of loved ones.
The lyrics continue with a plea for companionship or understanding, as the singer expresses a need for a friend, stating, "I could use a friend. She'd be lying; she'd be lying; she'd be lying." This lamentation reflects a sense of isolation and the feeling that those around them are not truly listening or comprehending their pain. The repetition of "she'd be lying" implies a lack of trust in others, suggesting a past of broken promises and unfulfilled connections.
In the subsequent verses, the singer dives into introspection and reflection. They encourage the listener to think about their life, past experiences, and moments that sparked curiosity or wonder. There is an emphasis on dwelling on the past and the thoughts and memories that constantly occupy their mind. The repetition of "think about it" underscores the torment of continuously revisiting painful memories and regrets.
The chorus introduces a shift in tone, with the singer responding to external expectations and perceptions of them. They sarcastically declare, "You say you want a killer; I'll show you everything. You say you want a monster; I'll be your enemy." This suggests a willingness to embrace the roles society has thrust upon them, embodying the darkness within themselves in order to fit the expectations placed upon them. It speaks to a feeling of being misunderstood and attempting to defy those misunderstandings by embodying them fully.
The song concludes with a declaration of resilience and endurance despite the hardships faced. The singer acknowledges their flaws and mistakes, likening them to burning bridges and scars on their skin. However, they also express their determination to withstand this pain, stating, "I'll cut through the pain, assaulted again, assaulting my brain." This demonstrates their refusal to succumb to the challenges they face, and a resolve to keep pushing forward despite the internal turmoil that threatens to consume them. The lyrics ultimately convey a deep sense of internal struggle, resilience, and a desire to break free from the torment within.
Line by Line Meaning
I just want to break my fists for everything I missed
I have a deep desire to release my pent-up frustration and resentment for all the things I didn't experience or achieve in the past.
When I was young, a kid
During my childhood years, when I was innocent and naive.
Then I was plagued by death
Subsequently, my life was constantly affected by the presence and aftermath of death.
I was suffocating
I felt trapped and overwhelmed in my circumstances.
I could use a friend
I felt lonely and in need of companionship and support.
She’d be lying
If I had someone, they would not be truthful or sincere with me.
Liar
A deceptive individual who cannot be trusted.
She never listened
This person I imagined as a friend never took the time to truly hear and understand me.
I tipped over the edge
I reached a breaking point where my emotional state became unbalanced and unstable.
I’ve been over the edge
I have consistently crossed the threshold of emotional stability.
Think about it all
Reflect on every aspect and detail.
Think about the time
Contemplate the moments that have passed.
Think about the past
Consider the events and experiences that have shaped me.
Think about life
Meditate on the existence we all navigate.
When I was younger
During my earlier years.
Think of times
Recall specific instances.
That made me wonder
Those moments that sparked curiosity and caused me to question.
Do I always think about this place
Am I constantly preoccupied with this particular mental state or environment?
That my a-agony sank in
Where my deep emotional distress became embedded.
I just think about it
My mind frequently dwells on this subject.
In my head
Within the realm of my thoughts and consciousness.
You say you want a killer
You claim to desire someone who is skilled and ruthless.
I’ll show you everything
I will demonstrate my capability and reveal the full extent of my abilities.
You say you want a monster
You express a preference for an intimidating and dangerous entity.
I’ll be your enemy
I will become the hostile opposition in your life.
I’ve seen it all
I have witnessed and experienced a wide range of things.
I’ve been the one who always missed the mark
I have consistently failed to meet expectations or achieve desired outcomes.
I’ve burned the bridge inside this emptiness
My actions and choices have severed any connection within this profound sense of emptiness and desolation.
I’ve felt it enter my heart again
I have experienced the reemergence of intense emotional pain penetrating my core.
It’s been burned deep inside of every single slit in the skin
This anguish has left deep scars within every emotional wound I have endured.
I’ll cut through the pain
I will find a way to overcome and transcend the suffering I feel.
Assaulted again
Subjected to another round of emotional attack or distress.
Assaulting my brain
Causing significant mental and psychological turmoil.
Cuz every single part of this is bursting the seams
The overwhelming pressure and strain of every aspect of my life is reaching its breaking point.
It’s bursting the seams
The intensity and magnitude of my struggles are exceeding their limits and boundaries.
You and I will take
Together, we will embark on a journey.
My empty heart away
I will relinquish my void-filled, emotionally deprived heart to you.
Who am I to stay
Why should I remain in this state?
This happy inside of hell
This twisted sense of contentment within the depths of torment and suffering.
So I just take a deep breath
Therefore, I simply inhale deeply in an attempt to calm myself.
And murder
Metaphorically, to metaphorically extinguish or destroy.
I kiss fire and
I embrace and engage with intense and destructive elements.
I can’t take this anymore
I have reached my emotional limit and cannot endure this any longer.
I swear I’ve got to stay inside of this
I insist on subjecting myself to this state of being.
Hell that I am in
The personal hell I currently find myself trapped within.
Lyrics © O/B/O APRA AMCOS
Written by: Ben Levi
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind