Misery
MattKC Lyrics

So this is the part where you learn I'm not the life of the party
I may not be the most exciting person, and I'm not always fun to be around.

For you, I wish I was
I want to be the person you want me to be.

And this is the part where you learn you'd rather be with somebody
You want to be with someone who is more exciting and fun than I am.

Who'd be a little more fun (Well, that could be anyone)
You're not picky, anyone who is more fun than me would do.

You said 'if you want it to feel like home, then just pretend (Then just pretend)
You suggest I pretend that I'm not alone inside my head.

That you don't wish you were all alone inside your head
You don't want to be alone in your head, and neither do I.

And now you're wondering off with the ghost of who you used to be (Oh who you used to be)
You're leaving me behind and going back to the person you used to be, someone I can't compete with.

And I never see you without him (No I never see you without him)
I never see you without the memory of who you used to be and that hurts me.

Don't wanna be alone
I don't want to be alone because it makes me feel isolated.

But I don't wanna be the one that lets you down and I
I don't want to disappoint you.

Can't seem to feel your touch
I can't feel the connection we used to have.

And a kiss from your lips seems to pass right through me
My attempts to connect with you feel empty and futile.

And everybody wants to remember the days that I felt so happy
Everyone wants to remember when I was happy and carefree, but those days are gone.

But they just bring me misery
Those memories of happiness just bring me pain and sadness.

Well I finally decided that I've been so misguided
I realized that I've been lost and misguided in my pursuit of happiness.

I'm not who I thought I'd be
I'm not the person I thought I would become.

But the flames I left behind still follow me
The past continues to haunt me and affect me in the present.

(They're all you ever wanted
My past ambitions and desires that I thought would make me happy

They're all you ever needed, WAHAH!)
Turned out to be empty and not what I truly needed.

Well you know the signs, they never lie
The signs of my mistakes and failures are clear and undeniable.

They pointed high and I reached for the sky
I aimed high but fell short of my goals.

My future rested in the retina of my eye
I had high hopes and expectations for my future, but they were all in my mind.

But all that talk can only keep flames burning for so long
My past desires and ambitions were only temporary and fleeting.

It's hard to take when you realize this time you've been so wrong
It's painful to realize that I've been chasing after the wrong things all this time.

(You've been so wrong)
I've been making mistakes and pursuing the wrong things.

So this is the part where I learn that this is not what I wanted
I realize that what I thought I wanted is not what I actually wanted.

I just believed it because I wanted to
I convinced myself that what I wanted was what I needed, but I was wrong.

And everything that could make me what I wanted to be
Everything that I thought would make me happy and successful

I didn't realize I could lie to myself
I didn't see that I was deceiving myself and pursuing the wrong things.

See what I wanted to see
I only saw what I wanted to see and ignored the reality around me.