The Big Glasgow Polis
Matt McGinn Lyrics


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With my handcuffs and my truncheon, my whistle and my book
I'm the scourge of all the criminals, the terror o' the crook
Upon my feet you'll always find a pair of size eighteen
I'm the finest Glasgow polisman that you have ever seen

I was workin' in the Heilands with the toddy's? makin' tweed
Say whiskey and some potcheen (sp), to put jam upon my breid
My cousin, Donald he says to me, "Come on, we're wastin' time.
We'll join the Glasgow polis force and put an end to crime."

One night when I was on my beat quite lonely by mysel'
I met a Glasgow lady; she was on her beat as well.
He asked me for the time. I obliged her with a snopt, Although I must confess, the time she asked was very short.

Now the Glasgow polis force it is acutely short of staff.
If I tell to you the reason, it'll maybe make some of you laugh.
Last night for breakin' into to shops up in the Gallowgate,
They arrested seven criminals and one of them was my mate.

They've given me another mate. He's one of the finest men,
And he and me went out today upon the 2 to 10.
We'd scarcely left the station, when threw away his butt.
He says lend me 20 capsules, mate, until I show some stuff...Now if ever you're in trouble and you dial 999,
And the operator tells you, "You should try another line,"
The line to try is some of the pubs, the Scotia and the Boar's.
That's where you're sure to find me, lads, especially after hours.

With my handcuffs and my truncheon, my whistle and my book,
I'm the scourge of all the criminals, the terror o' the crook.




Upon my feet you'll always find a pair of size eighteen.
I'm the finest Glasgow polisman that you have ever seen.

Overall Meaning

Matt McGinn's song "The Big Glasgow Polis" portrays the tale of a Glasgow policeman who is proud of his job and the tools of his trade. He has handcuffs, a truncheon, a whistle, and a book, which he uses to fight criminals and keep the streets safe. He considers himself the "scourge" of all criminals and the "terror" of the crooks, and he proudly wears his size 18 boots. The song also provides insight into how the singer became a policeman. He was previously working in the Heilands, making tweed and enjoying whiskey and potcheen on his bread until his cousin Donald convinced him to join the Glasgow police and fight crime.


The song also highlights the shortage of staff in the Glasgow police force. The singer sets out with a new partner to patrol the streets but soon realizes that his partner is a drug addict. In the last verse, he mentions that if anyone needs help and 999 doesn't work, they can find him in the pubs, specifically the Scotia and the Boar's.


The song seems to paint a picture of a police force that is understaffed and under-resourced yet facing the challenge of keeping the city safe. The singer is a proud member of the police force, dedicated to his job, and willing to go the extra mile to help those in need.


Line by Line Meaning

With my handcuffs and my truncheon, my whistle and my book
As an officer of the law, I am equipped with everything I need to bring criminals to justice, including restraints, a weapon, a whistle for communication, and a book for record-keeping.


I'm the scourge of all the criminals, the terror o' the crook
Criminals fear me and know that their illegal behavior will not go unpunished under my watch as a police officer in Glasgow.


Upon my feet you'll always find a pair of size eighteen
As a physically imposing figure, with particularly large feet, I am an imposing presence that criminals do not want to cross.


I'm the finest Glasgow polisman that you have ever seen
I am the best police officer that Glasgow has to offer, dedicated to serving and protecting the citizens of the city.


I was workin' in the Heilands with the toddy's? makin' tweed
Before joining the police force, I worked in the highlands making tweed and drinking whiskey and potcheen with my cousin Donald.


Say whiskey and some potcheen (sp), to put jam upon my breid
I enjoyed drinking whiskey and potcheen, and used to put jam on my bread with them.


My cousin, Donald he says to me, "Come on, we're wastin' time.
My cousin encouraged me to join the police and become a force for good in the city, rather than wasting my time up in the highlands.


We'll join the Glasgow polis force and put an end to crime."
Together, my cousin and I vowed to join the Glasgow police force to help combat crime and make the city a safer place for all.


One night when I was on my beat quite lonely by mysel'
While patrolling my assigned area one night on my own, I happened upon a female police officer who was also on duty at the time.


I met a Glasgow lady; she was on her beat as well.
I encountered a female officer who was also working in Glasgow and patrolling the same area as me.


He asked me for the time. I obliged her with a snopt, Although I must confess, the time she asked was very short.
She asked me for the time, and I obliged her with a quick response, though the amount of time she requested was quite brief.


Now the Glasgow polis force it is acutely short of staff.
Currently, the Glasgow police force is suffering from a shortage of available staff members.


If I tell to you the reason, it'll maybe make some of you laugh.
The cause of the police force's shortage of staff is somewhat humorous and may elicit a chuckle from those who hear it.


Last night for breakin' into to shops up in the Gallowgate,
Recently, a group of criminals broke into several shops located in the Gallowgate area of Glasgow.


They arrested seven criminals and one of them was my mate.
During the arrests related to the shop break-ins, one of the seven criminals apprehended was an individual I knew as my friend.


They've given me another mate. He's one of the finest men,
In order to replace the criminal who was previously my friend, I have been assigned a new partner who is said to be an excellent police officer.


And he and me went out today upon the 2 to 10.
Together, my new partner and I went out on a patrol that would take us from 2 PM to 10 PM that day.


We'd scarcely left the station, when threw away his butt.
Almost immediately after leaving the police station, my new partner threw away his cigarette butt on the street.


He says lend me 20 capsules, mate, until I show some stuff...
My new partner asked to borrow some capsules from me, likely related to drug use, until he could show me something impressive.


Now if ever you're in trouble and you dial 999,
If you are ever in need of help or in a dangerous situation, you can call the emergency number in the UK, 999, for assistance.


And the operator tells you, "You should try another line,"
In the event that you contact the emergency services but are told that the line is busy or you should try another number, you may be at a loss for what to do next.


The line to try is some of the pubs, the Scotia and the Boar's.
If you are unable to reach the emergency services via phone, you might be able to locate an on-duty police officer at one of the pubs in the area, such as the Scotia or the Boar's Head.


That's where you're sure to find me, lads, especially after hours.
As a police officer, I can often be found in the pubs around Glasgow after my shifts are over, particularly the ones mentioned earlier.




Contributed by Ian V. Suggest a correction in the comments below.
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Comments from YouTube:

@killiekentman

i was drinking with him in the Eglinton folk club in Irvine, months before he passed away, had a great night with him and a lovely man he was, .sad loss, but his music still as good today,

@MacJaxonManOfAction

Wonderful man, wonderful songs, wonderful city

@charles1952ify

Gleschu folk centre in Albion street back in the late sixties wis a great place.

@undercoverbrother67

RIP Matt

@davidh3536

@gandesa38 yeah he is a legend he reminds me so much of glasgow

@pogolswood

A true lyrical genius, it is pity in a few generations oor language will be deid, only to brought out for hogamany and Burns' night.

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