The songs on Moda Spira evolved during a period of intense emotional turmoil that led Phillips to a greater understanding of her personal and musical journey. “Loving someone has deep challenges, because we’re all a mess, but it’s a worthy path. The songs flowed out of a scary, hard, complicated, wonderful, growing and loving season. I’d capture ideas on a voice memo, or record melodies walking down the street, whenever I had a moment of inspiration. After two years, I had a full record.”
As the music evolved, Phillips began collaborating with producer and multi-instrumentalist Jordan Brooke Hamlin (Indigo Girls, Lucy Wainwright). Together, they crafted arrangements and finished writing songs that embraced ‘90s R&B, ‘80s pop and cinematic indie rock. They stayed open to finding new sounds that moved them. “We discovered a lot of new sounds and techniques,” Phillips says. “Some were terrible; some were amazing,” she laughs. “We kept the amazing stuff.”
The songs on Moda Spira follow a relationship as it moves through infatuation, passion, familiarity and tribulation, finally emerging triumphant, infused with a renewed belief and hope in the growing process of learning to love yourself and others. “She Whispers” opens the album with warm, wistful piano tones and the gentle heartbeat of a kick drum, suggesting the calm before the storm. Jordan’s aggressive guitar and a funky percussion loop back a vocal full of hopeful melancholy as Phillips embraces the light slowly emerging from the darkness. “Love is the light no shadow can touch,” Phillips says. “It’s the faith that the darkness can not consume you.”
“In the Fight” describes the dawning realization that intimacy, despite it joys, is never an easy path. “Opening yourself exposes everything, good and bad,” Phillips says. “You have to decide how to reveal the things that often go unsaid.” This tension is expressed by a swirling, multi-tracked vocal, chiming piano and cinematic washes of synthesizer. A thumping, hypnotic kick drum loop gets more and more funky as Phillips takes the song home with a fervid vocal. Ominous keyboards support Phillips on “Playback,” the darkest song on the album. “When you’re in conflict, you have to be careful about the words you say,” Phillips says. “You can apologize, but can’t unsay what has been said.” The song grows chaotic and intense as it progresses, mimicking the frustration of a quarrel, with waves of competing vocals and drum loops. The smooth groove of “Bet on Me” pays tribute to Sade and other R&B icons, with muted guitar, subtle bass and bubbly toms. “I wanted to get a sonic sensibility that referenced some of my favorite artists,” Phillips says. “I especially love Jordan’s bluesy, B.B. King style guitar solo on the coda.”
Near the end of the album, Phillip’s hushed piano drifts into “Stillness,” a classically flavored instrumental that provides a moment to reflect and absorb the emotions she’s been stirring up. The slowly unfolding, waltz-like sonata has a soothing effect, suggesting the effortless slide into peaceful, dreamless sleep.
“Shaking the Walls” is pure pop, the album’s most jubilant track. Its dreamy verses build to a soaring bridge, marked by multi-tracked, call and response vocals, accented by live tom toms that suggest the crumbling of the walls that keep lovers from making genuine connections. Phillips shows her gospel roots on “The Hard Way.” Her hushed vocal, and sustained notes from her Juno Arp, cast a hypnotic spell, as she slips into a soft moan to express feelings beyond words. The track concludes with her multi-tracked vocals, mimicking the ecstasy of a Sunday morning choir, promising unconditional support, even in life’s darkest moments. “We’d like to believe we don’t have to learn life’s lessons the hard way,” Phillips says, “but nobody’s perfect. We all learn the hard way.”
Phillips has a long resume that includes time as a solo artist and work with Page CXVI, a band that reinterprets traditional hymns, the indie rock band Autumn Film and Sola-Mi, an experimental trio. She has produced albums for indie artists, including A Boy & His Kite, helping them place “Cover Your Tracks” on the soundtrack for Twilight: Breaking Dawn, Part II. Her songs have been featured on One Tree Hill, The Gates, Lifetime Films and the film The House at the End of the Street. She’s also composed incidental music for MTV and E! Moda Spira is her return to solo performing. She plans to support the album with selected dates, both alone and with multi-media pop up shows, featuring video, dancers, live painting and other surprises.
“Moda Spira is my first solo venture in ten years,” Phillips says. “The songs are all dear to me, so I gave myself permission to be vulnerable. If you’re feeling down and lost, this record will let you know that you’re not alone and help you to keep moving forward.”
Terrible Love
Moda Spira Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
It's a terrible love and I'm walking in
It's a terrible love and I'm walking with spiders
It's a terrible love and I'm walking in
It's quite company
It's quite a company
It's a terrible love and I'm walking in
It's a terrible love and I'm walking with spiders
It's a terrible love and I'm walking in
It's quite a company
It's quite a company
It's quite a company
And I can't fall asleep
Without a little help
It takes a lot to settle down
I sailed a boat into the past except
It takes an ocean not to break
It takes an ocean not to break
It takes an ocean not to break
It takes an ocean not to break company
It's quiet company
It's quiet company
But I won't follow you into the rabbit hole
I said I would but then I saw
Your shiver bones
They didn't want me to
It's a terrible love and I'm walking with spiders
It's a terrible love and I'm walking in
It's a terrible love and I'm walking with spiders
It's a terrible love and I'm walking in
It takes an ocean not to break
It takes an ocean not to break
It takes an ocean not to break
The song "Terrible Love" by Moda Spira is a poetic anthem for the painful and consuming nature of love. The singer mentions walking with spiders which can be seen as an allusion to the feeling of being trapped or stuck in a destructive and unhealthy relationship. The repetition of the phrase "terrible love" emphasizes the power this love holds over the singer, as it seems to have taken over their entire being. The use of conflicting emotions in the song is also notable. The singer talks about the company they keep and how it is peaceful, yet they cannot sleep without help. They also mention sailing a boat into the past but needing an ocean not to break, which could be interpreted as a desire to escape their past while acknowledging that it takes great strength to do so.
The singer then declares that they will not follow their love interest into a "rabbit hole," indicating a realization that the relationship is not healthy and that they must distance themselves from the person they love. However, this decision is not easy, as the singer describes the other person's "shiver bones" as if to express empathy for their vulnerability and fears. The repetition of "It takes an ocean not to break" also suggests that the singer is determined to move on from their intense and consuming love but acknowledges that it will take great effort and strength to do so.
In summary, "Terrible Love" is a powerful and poignant song about the turmoil and struggle that can come from love. The haunting lyrics and melody serve to convey a sense of the all-consuming nature of love and the inner battles that often accompany it.
Line by Line Meaning
It's a terrible love and I'm walking with spiders
This love is horrible and I feel like I'm surrounded by something that scares me
It's a terrible love and I'm walking in
This passion is awful and I'm engulfed in it, unable to escape
It's quite company
Despite the pain, it's comforting to have something or someone there beside me
And I can't fall asleep
Without a little help
I need some kind of assistance to be able to rest because of the turmoil in my mind and heart
It takes a lot to settle down
It's difficult to calm down and find peace within myself
I sailed a boat into the past except
I tried to distance myself from the pain by dwelling on things that have already happened, but it didn't work
It takes an ocean not to break
I need something vast and strong to help me endure and survive this love
But I won't follow you into the rabbit hole
I won't let myself get lost in this love, even if I thought I would before
I said I would but then I saw
Your shiver bones
I promised myself to follow this love, but seeing your vulnerability and fragility made me reconsider
They didn't want me to
Those bones seemed to warn me to stay away, so I listened
Contributed by Benjamin O. Suggest a correction in the comments below.