Ghosts
N.A.D. Niù Abdominaux Dangereu Lyrics

Wide Awake
I'm fully aware of my own situation

Tryna not come down from this high
I'm trying to continue to feel good and avoid negative feelings

I been innocent my whole life
Up until now, I haven't done anything wrong

Now I let these ghosts
But now, my past traumas and problems are haunting me

I let my ghosts
I'm choosing to let my past continue to affect me

Run
And I'm running away from the pain instead of facing it

Running away from my problems and I done spent a lot of time with a bottle
I've been using alcohol to try to escape my issues, but it's not working

And I'm feeling hostile sometimes when I'm heated and I worked so hard but I still Fuckin' need it
When I get angry, I feel like I need that escape even more, even though I know it's not helping me

I just needa sip or a line I'm defeated
I feel like I'm losing the battle with addiction and need something to help me cope

I just need more time to sit back and just heal
What I really need is to take a step back, deal with my problems, and heal

I'm fighting addiction yeah I'm tryna beat it and all of these bitches keep talking and eat It up
I'm trying to overcome my addiction, and it's frustrating when people gossip and make it harder for me

They love it when I'm still failing they plead for it
People seem to enjoy watching me struggle and want to see me fail

Still fuckin' haunted from grandfather leaving us
I'm still struggling with the pain of losing my grandfather

He taught me what difference angels and demons was
My grandfather taught me about good and evil

Mad that he died on me
I'm angry that he passed away and left me alone

I really needed him
I feel like I could have used his guidance and support through my struggles

I shouldn't dwell but it's harder than ever
I know I shouldn't keep thinking about it, but it's difficult to let go of the pain

Whenever I think of him I feel the pressure
Every time I think about my grandfather, I feel overwhelmed with emotion

I felt when he passed but I'll love him forever
I still feel the pain of his loss, but I will always love and remember him

Just gotta stay calm so I'm watching my temper
To deal with my emotions, I need to stay calm and in control

If it wasn't for music woulda died a long time ago
Music is what keeps me going and gives me a reason to live

Trust me
I know this to be true from personal experience

If anybody knows about it I would know
Because I've been through so much, I feel that I truly understand the value of music to my mental health

I woulda died alone and I'm not saying at all that I condone suicide
Without music, I might have given up on life, but I don't think suicide is ever the answer

You and I both got through hard times
I know that others have also faced difficult times and come out on the other side

I reflect what I'm saying going through my rhymes like a mirror
My music reflects my life experiences and emotions like a mirror

Getting nearer to the end every year but I use it as a gear to propel myself
I know that time is running out, but that motivates me to keep pushing forward

Straight through my fears straight to your ears
I'm confronting my fears and putting my emotions out there for my fans to hear

All the pain I endured
I've been through a lot of pain and hardship

I could pool my tears
I've cried so much that I could fill a pool with my tears

I'm a fool I hear
Some might think I'm foolish for putting my emotions out there like this

But it doesn't even matter cause I'm fighting to the death
But I'm not going to give up, no matter what anyone thinks

If you know who I am you know all the bloodshed
Anyone who knows me knows how hard I've had to fight to get where I am

and I won't rest or ride into sunset
But I'm not going to stop now, even when I reach my goals

Till I make it in this medium
I won't be satisfied until I've achieved everything I want in my music career

I see the other artists
I'm aware of the other artists around me

Let em know that I believe in em
And I want to support and encourage them in their own journey

I'm staring at the devil
I'm confronting my own demons and inner struggles

I won't stop till I defeated him
But I'm determined to overcome them and be successful

Y-you almost died
During a difficult time in my life, I almost lost everything

Yeah, definitely
Yes, it was a very close call

How close do you think you were to dying?
I was on the brink of death and could have died if I didn't get help in time

They said two hours
Doctors told me that if I had waited two more hours to seek help, it would have been too late

If I would've got to the hospital two hours later that would've been it
If I had waited any longer to seek medical attention, I probably would not have survived

Cause my organs, everything
My body was shutting down and my organs were failing

My kidneys, everything were failing
Even my kidneys were failing, which is a dangerous and life-threatening condition