Mad Dogs and Englishmen
Noël Coward Lyrics

In tropical climes there are certain times of day
In hot parts of the world, there are specific times of the day

When all the citizens retire
When everyone goes inside and rests

To tear their clothes off and perspire
To remove their clothing and sweat

It's one of those rules that the greatest fools obey
It's one of those things that only foolish people follow

Because the sun is much too sultry
Because the sun is too hot

And one must avoid its ultra violet ray
And one should protect themselves against the harmful UV rays.

The native grieve when the white
The natives feel sad when the white

Men leave their huts, because
People are leaving their houses because

They're obviously definitely nuts!
That's crazy!

Mad dogs and Englishmen
Only mad dogs and Englishmen

Go out in the midday sun
Go outside in the hottest part of the day

The Japanese don't care to
The Japanese don't want to

The Chinese wouldn't dare to
The Chinese are too afraid to

Hindoos and Argentines sleep
Hindus and Argentinians are sleeping

Firmly from twelve to one
From noon until one o'clock without fail

But Englishmen detest a siesta
But Englishmen don't like to take a nap during this time

In the Philippines
In the Philippines

There are lovely screens
There are screens to block the sun

To protect you from the glare
To protect against the sun's intense bright light

In the Malay States
In the Malay states

There are hats like plates
They have wide-brimmed hats like plates

Which the Britishers won't wear
Which the British people refuse to wear

At twelve noon the natives swoon
At noon, the locals faint

And no further work is done
No work is accomplished

But mad dogs and Englishmen
But crazy people and Englishmen

Go out in the midday sun
Go outside during the hottest part of the day

It's such a surprise for the Eastern eyes to see
It's surprising for the East to see

That though the English are effete
That although the English are perceived as weak

They're quite impervious to heat
They can tolerate the heat very well

When the white man rides every native hides in glee
When a white man walks around, locals run away in joy

Because the simple creatures hope he
They think he will

Will impale his solar topee on a tree
Will accidentally pierce his hat on a tree branch

It seems such a shame
It's such a pity

When the English claim
When the British declare ownership

The earth that they give rise to
The earth that they created

Such hilarity and mirth
Is met with laughter and happiness

Mad dogs and Englishmen
Only crazy people and Englishmen

Go out in the midday sun.
Go outside during the hottest part of the day

The toughest Burmese bandit
Even the toughest Burmese bandit

Can never understand it
Can't comprehend it

In Rangoon the heat of noon
In Rangoon, the heat at noon is

Is just what the natives shun
Something the locals avoid

They put their Scotch or Rye down
They put their drinks down

And lie down in a jungle town
And lie down in the nearby jungle

Where the sun beats down
Where the sun is really hot

To the rage of man and beast
To the anger of everyone and animals around

The English garb
The clothes the British wear

Of the English sahib
Of the English gentleman

Merely gets a bit more creased
Just gets a little bit more wrinkled

In Bangkok
In Bangkok

At twelve o'clock
At noon

They foam at the mouth and run
They get really excited and run around

Slut mad dogs and Englishmen
Only crazy people and Englishmen

Go out in the midday sun
Go outside during the hottest part of the day

Mad dogs and Englishmen
Only crazy people and Englishmen

Go out in the midday sun.
Go outside during the hottest part of the day

The smallest Malay rabbit
Even the smallest Malay rabbit

Deplores this stupid habit
Thinks this behavior is ridiculous

in Hongkong
In Hong Kong

They strike a gong and
They ring a gong and

Fire off a noonday gun
Shoot a gun at noon

To reprimand each inmate
To scold anyone who's late

Who's in late
Whoever arrives later than expected

In the mangrove swamps
In the swamps filled with mangrove trees

Where the python romps
Where the python moves about

There is peace from twelve till two
It's peaceful there from 12 to 2

Even caribous
Even a caribou

Lie around and snooze
Lies down and sleeps

For there's nothing else
Because there's nothing else

To do in Bengal to move
To do in Bengal

At all is seldom, if ever done
People don't move around much

But mad dogs and Englishmen
But crazy people and Englishmen

Go out in the midday sun
Go outside during the hottest part of the day