Alive
ONCUE Lyrics

Why's it 2 o'clock in the morning
Questioning why it's so late and trying to understand what's going on

Outside all I hear is your car starting
Noticing a familiar sound and wondering why they're leaving at this time

The dogs barking, thinking the same as me
Noticing the dogs are also reacting to the person leaving and thinking about the situation

Why you up at this hour?
Questioning why the person is leaving at such an unusual time

Why you gotta leave?
Questioning why the person has to leave in the first place

Yesterday I found baking soda in your trunk
Discovering something suspicious in the person's car and becoming suspicious

Tellin' me it was there to take away all the skunk
The person trying to explain away the suspicious item found by giving an excuse

All the mildew and mold
A potential explanation for the baking soda, but not a convincing one

You lie like Phil do
Comparing the person to someone who is known to be a liar, indicating that they don't trust them

You hold your stash so you can cut down your coke
The person is accused of using and cutting their drugs, showing that they have a drug problem

Eleven years old, oh I was so young
Reflecting on how young they were when they were first exposed to the person's drug addiction

Never did know, damn I was so dumb
Regretting not recognizing the person's addiction and its effects earlier

Is this hereditary? For me to fail again
Worrying about the possibility of inheriting the addiction and struggling with it themselves

Walk around my own house living with a alien
Feeling like their home is no longer familiar and comfortable due to the person's addiction

I swear, this ain't my fathers face, nah it ain't his skin
Noticing a change in the person's appearance due to their addiction, indicating that the addiction has taken a toll on them

What type of fuckin' place is this to raise a kid up in?
Expressing frustration and anger about the environment they were raised in due to the person's addiction

Tryin' get through, all the shit I've been
Trying to cope and deal with the effects of the person's addiction on their life

All I know, me and Momma just try live again
Focusing on moving forward with their life and trying to restore a sense of stability with their mother

Haley, we made it out alive
Relieved and grateful that they were able to survive and move on from the person's addiction

Don't tell me, we bout to lose the fight
Worried about the possibility of a relapse or another setback

Just one more, oh, one more night
Hoping for just a little bit more time without any issues or complications

I swear when you left a part of me died
Expressing pain and heartache from the person's absence and the damage caused by their addiction

All those nights with Mom, watching her cry
Remembering the pain and sadness they witnessed when their mother was dealing with the aftermath of the person's addiction

Havin' a hard time drying my own eyes
Struggling to come to terms with their own emotions and pain related to the addiction

Fightin' to wake up every day tryin' to keep it all inside
Determined to keep going and move on, despite the lingering pain and emotional turmoil caused by the addiction

You should have saw her, she so weak back then
Reflecting on the difficult times their mother faced due to the person's addiction and how vulnerable she was

I thought you were dead, we didn't speak back then
Thinking that the person had died due to their addiction and cutting off contact with them as a result

Thrown us both away for a motel and a crack pipe
Expressing anger and frustration at the person for prioritizing their addiction over their family and loved ones

It was probably all so perfect in a past life
Reflecting on how things might have been different if the person hadn't become addicted and how much their addiction has changed their life

My songs were the only thing to make me act right
Acknowledging the positive impact music has had on their life, especially during tough times related to the person's addiction

Grammys probably so proud, I chose my path right
Feeling proud of their success despite the hardships they've faced and the negative effects of the person's addiction

All those letters you wrote mom when you black out
Remembering the letters the person wrote when they were inebriated and how painful they were to read

Picking me up from sport games all cracked out
Reflecting on how the person's addiction impacted even the small moments in their life, like being picked up from a sports game

So lost that, I needed a signal
Feeling lost and needing something to help guide them through the difficult times related to the person's addiction

Thinkin' bout all the shit, me and Mom been through
Reflecting on the hardships they've faced and the difficult times they've had to endure because of the person's addiction

Crackin' [?] jokers [?] windows thinking it would get you
Trying to find ways to cope with the person's addiction and showing how desperate and helpless they felt

I'm sorry if it hurts, this the only thing I vent through
Apologizing for the pain their words may cause, but acknowledging that expressing their emotions through music is their only outlet

I know you take back, the act going on, blackmailin' Mom
Accusing the person of past actions related to their addiction, including threatening their mother

I know you give back, the insurance money, admit you were wrong
Demanding that the person atone for the damage caused by their addiction and make amends

What if you had to live with the fact I chose the same path as you
Questioning how the person would feel if they knew their child was struggling with addiction as well, highlighting the importance of overcoming addiction

Smoking, poppin' pills, dropping out of school
Listing some of the negative consequences of drug addiction and the potential path they could have taken if they had succumbed to addiction themselves

I forgive, I definitely don't forget
Acknowledging the possibility of forgiveness, but also cautioning that they won't forget the damage caused by the addiction

And I ain't done healing, am I suppose to yet?
Recognizing that recovery and healing are ongoing processes and wondering if they're supposed to have fully healed and moved on already

Sorry I write these fuckin' records where I bash you
Apologizing for the negative things they've said about the person in their music

But you made your bed and sometimes see I have to
Explaining that the person is responsible for their own actions and the consequences that come with them, even if it means being criticized through music

Medicate myself, man of the house
Acknowledging the difficulty of dealing with the aftermath of the addiction and taking on a leadership role in their family's recovery

Since you and Phil left, I designate myself
Taking ownership of the family's progress and becoming the de facto leader since the person and another member have left

Yeah Mommy I fuckin' love you
Expressing love and affection for their mother despite the struggles they've faced because of the addiction

No one gun' hurt you no more, angels above you
Promising to protect and care for their mother and wishing her well

Dad I forgive you, I pray you remain clean
Offering forgiveness and hope for the person's recovery from their addiction

I'm just glad your alive to see me live out this dream
Expressing gratitude that the person is still alive and able to see their child succeed and pursue their dreams despite the addiction

We made it out, we made it out this mother fucker alive
Celebrating their survival and success despite the challenges related to the person's addiction