Beginnings
Pain of Salvation Lyrics


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She is twelve I'm only ten
buried in this soft mountain of pillows
Parents away
She asks me have I been touched
Have I done the thing with anyone yet
Silence, a shy no

And there is nothing
That we'd rather share
Than that bodily warmth if we'd dare
But she's already twelve and I am
Just a child
Warm and shy

She's so old, already twelve and I am only ten
Than was me, young and free, there and then

Now in this hotel room I lie wondering who I am
Never quite as sure after a lie of questioning
Finding out at last that freedom is
A state of mind
But still not knowing how to get along with this mankind





Finding out at last that freedom is a state of mind

Overall Meaning

The lyrics in Pain of Salvation's song "Beginnings" are definitely controversial and touch on a sensitive topic. The song tells a story of a young boy who is in a hotel room, questioning himself and his identity. In the first verse, the boy is reminiscing about a moment with a girl who was a couple of years older than him. She asks him if he has had any sexual experiences, and the boy shyly admits that he hasn't. The two discuss the idea of sharing bodily warmth, but the boy is too young and timid to act on it. The lyrics suggest that both children are curious about their bodies and each other, which is an incredibly normal part of development. However, the fact that they are so young and left alone in a situation where they are discussing sex is unsettling.


The second verse of the song seems to flash forward to the present day, where the boy is now a man staying in a hotel room, possibly reflecting back on that moment in his childhood. He is questioning who he is and realizing that freedom is a state of mind. It's unclear what the context behind this verse is, but the lyrics suggest that the boy has grown up to be someone who struggles with their identity and their place in the world.


Overall, the lyrics in "Beginnings" are complex and thought-provoking, painting a picture of a person who is struggling with their sense of self. The song touches on the discomfort and confusion many adolescents feel as they navigate being sexual beings while still being considered children.


Line by Line Meaning

She is twelve I'm only ten
She's a couple of years older than me


buried in this soft mountain of pillows
Surrounded by soft and fluffy pillows


Parents away
Our parents weren't home


She asks me have I been touched
She asks if I've been exposed to sexual touch


Have I done the thing with anyone yet
If I've had sexual intercourse with anyone before


Silence, a shy no
I respond with silence and a shy no to her questions


And there is nothing
There is nothing else we want


That we'd rather share
We'd preferably share


Than that bodily warmth if we'd dare
If we had the courage, we'd share physical warmth


But she's already twelve and I am
Because she's already twelve while I'm


Just a child
A young, innocent kid


Warm and shy
Feeling warm and a bit shy at the same time


She's so old, already twelve and I am only ten
She's too old for me, as she's two years older than me


Than was me, young and free, there and then
I was young, innocent and carefree when I was younger


Now in this hotel room I lie wondering who I am
Now, in a hotel room, I ponder my true identity


Never quite as sure after a lie of questioning
After being misled, I'm not completely sure about anything anymore


Finding out at last that freedom is
I eventually learned that freedom is


A state of mind
A way of thinking about things, not a physical thing


But still not knowing how to get along with this mankind
Despite that, I'm still not sure how to deal with other people




Lyrics © BMG Rights Management
Written by: DANIEL GILDENLOEW, PAIN OF SALVATION

Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
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