In 2003 Alex got a deal with Accession Records and released his first official album "Skin on Fire".
In 2005 he released a second album "Overkill", and at the same time got a contract with Albert Diehl (Contribe).
Albert has been and is still a good motivation for Alex, and a few months after the signing, the EP "Storm of Impermanence" was released.
In October 2006 the third album, No need to worry, was released.
On 07-09-28 the 4th studio-album "borderline" followed. The CD is divided into two chapters: "rage" and "melancholy" showing both the harsher and softer side of painbastard´s music.
Invisible
Painbastard Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
When my heart is cracked I would like to live on my own
When I found a reason not to trust you
Your abyss become my season I’ll break my way through
When I’m misunderstood, feel out of the right place
I would go up in smoke if I could but not lose my face
When you tell me things I don’t wanna hear
These are the moments, these are the days
When I wish to be dead I miss my living space
It’s too cold, too sweat, to warm to freeze
And the weight on my shoulders is so heavy that I fall on my knees
I cannot run away, I cannot hide
Everything’s wrong and nothing’s right
I lose myself, my world becomes small
I wish I could be invisible
Am I invisible?
When injustice stinks to high heaven and I cannot prevent it
When you betray me so obviously and think I’ll forget it
When you cheat me again and again and build a house of lies
Not knowing that every tear can make me colder than ice
The song "Invisible" by Painbastard is a powerful lament of a person who feels completely lost and alone. The lyrics depict somebody who is struggling with various issues such as mistrust, misunderstandings, and injustice. The song begins with the person expressing his desire to isolate himself from the world when he feels blackened and brokenhearted. The feeling of distrust from someone makes him feel like he has found a reason not to trust him, and the depth of that abyss becomes his season, allowing him to break his way through.
The next stanza focuses on the feeling of being misunderstood and out of place. The person wishes he could disappear when he is told things he does not want to hear, but he is held back only out of decency. The chorus of the song expresses the real pain and hardship the person goes through when he is living his life. The weight on his shoulders is so much that he falls on his knees, and he cannot run away or hide from the situation.
The final stanza of the song describes how the person feels when he sees injustice, betrayal, and lies. He feels very cold and shattered and feels as if he can't tolerate this betrayal again and again. As the song ends with the lyrics "Am I invisible?" it shows how the person has lost all sense of hope and even feels as if he doesn't exist.
Line by Line Meaning
When my day is black and I don’t wanna go home
On days when everything seems to be going wrong, and the thought of going home is unbearable.
When my heart is cracked I would like to live on my own
During moments of heartbreak, the singer wishes to be alone and not require the company of anyone else.
When I found a reason not to trust you
After discovering an action or behavior that causes distrust towards another individual.
Your abyss become my season I’ll break my way through
The singer will push through the negativity caused by the other person and use it to grow stronger.
When I’m misunderstood, feel out of the right place
During situations where the singer feels as though they don't belong or are not being understood.
I would go up in smoke if I could but not lose my face
The singer wishes to disappear without causing a scene or drawing attention to themselves.
When you tell me things I don’t wanna hear
During moments where the other person says something hurtful or uncomfortable for the singer to hear.
Just out of decency I don’t disappear
Even though the singer wishes to disappear, they won't do so in order to not be rude to the other person.
These are the moments, these are the days
The singer is acknowledging the difficult times they are facing.
When I wish to be dead I miss my living space
During moments when the singer's mental health is struggling, they may miss their own space and comfort.
It’s too cold, too sweat, to warm to freeze
The weather or circumstances may be uncomfortable or unbearable for the singer.
And the weight on my shoulders is so heavy that I fall on my knees
The burden that the singer is carrying is causing them physical and emotional pain.
I cannot run away, I cannot hide
The singer feels trapped and unable to escape their troubles.
Everything’s wrong and nothing’s right
Everything seems to be falling apart and there is no apparent solution or hope for the future.
I lose myself, my world becomes small
The singer may become so consumed by their problems that their world feels small and insignificant.
I wish I could be invisible
During difficult moments, the singer wishes to disappear and be invisible to the world.
Am I invisible?
The singer questions if they have faded into the background and gone unnoticed by others.
When injustice stinks to high heaven and I cannot prevent it
The singer is frustrated when they witness injustice or wrongdoing but are unable to stop it.
When you betray me so obviously and think I’ll forget it
The singer reacts negatively towards someone who has betrayed or hurt them, and the person responsible may think that the singer will easily forgive and forget, which is not the case.
When you cheat me again and again and build a house of lies
The other person continuously lies and deceives the singer, causing more and more pain and damage over time.
Not knowing that every tear can make me colder than ice
The other person is unaware that their actions are causing the singer to become emotionally numb and disconnected.
Contributed by Nicholas K. Suggest a correction in the comments below.