Romance
Paul Weston & His Orchestra Lyrics

A fine romance, with no kisses.
A good relationship or romantic love story that lacks the physical aspect of kissing.

A fine romance, my friend, this is.
A great or desirable bond, though not intimate, is what the song is speaking about.

We should be like a couple of hot tomatoes.
We ought to be like a couple who has a passionate or steamy relationship.

But you're as cold as yesterday's mashed potatoes.
Sadly, the other person in the relationship is unresponsive and frigid.

A fine romance, you won't nestle.
The song talks about a relationship where one's partner is not causing them to feel protected and comforted.

A fine romance, you won't wrestle.
There is no playful or flirtatious behavior with one's partner.

I've never mussed a crease in your blue serge pants.
The singer has not even been close enough to this person to wrinkle their clothing.

I never had the chance.
Unfortunately, the other person in the relationship never gave them an opportunity to get close.

This is a fine romance.
Despite the lack of physical intimacy, the situation is seen as favorable because of the presence of other positive relationship qualities.

A fine romance, my good fellow.
The song is talking to their partner in a friendly, non-judgmental way.

You take romance. I'll take jello.
The singer is saying that their partner is not interested in romantic gestures, so they're going to settle for something less meaningful.

You're calmer than the seals in the Arctic Ocean.
The other person in the relationship is described as calm and composed, but seemingly without passion.

At least they flap their fins to express emotion.
Compare to the seals, the other person in the relationship doesn't express emotions or show any feelings towards the singer.

A fine romance, with no quarrels.
A great love relationship with no arguments or disagreement between the two.

With no insults, and all the morals.
The relationship has kindness, civility, and appropriate behavior between them.

You're just as hard to land as the Ile de France.
The other person appears to be impossible to persuade or convince, just like a hard to catch ship.

I never get the chance.
The other person never gives the singer an opportunity to win them over.

This is a fine romance.
Despite the lack of physical intimacy, the situation is seen as favorable because of the presence of other positive relationship qualities.

True love should have the thrills that a healthy crime has.
The song suggests that love must have aspects of excitement and risks like crimes in order to be exciting.

We don't have half the thrills that 'The March of Time' has.
The singer is saying that their love life is so unexciting compared to a documentary series, even half the excitement is nonexistent in them.

A fine romance, with no clinches.
A good relationship or romantic love story without close physical contact.

A fine romance, with no pinches.
A great or desirable bond without any harsh or annoying elements that could spoil it.

You never give the orchids I send a glance.
The other person seems to be not noticing nor appreciating romantic gestures from the other partner.

No, you like cactus plants.
Their partner is even less interested in sentimental gestures, finding them less desirable than a spiky cactus plant.

This is a fine romance.
Despite the lack of physical intimacy, the situation is seen as favorable because of the presence of other positive relationship qualities.