Experience in my Dream
Personz Lyrics

Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴

表と裏影と光
空と大地水と砂漠
雨と日差し過去と未来
時を止め彷徨う詩人
触れ合った肌のぬくもり
交わしあった言葉が
胸騒ぎの鼓動振り切る
EXPERIENCE IN MY DREXM

見つめた瞳
EXPERIENCE IN MY DREAM
BE MY BABY
EXPERIENCE IN MY DREAM
忘れられない
EXPERIENCE IN MY DREAM
BE MY BABY
二度とは戻らない季節が
走り過ぎる瞬間に
すべての心が動き出す
ミラーボールのように
めぐりめぐる目眩まわりまわる心
EXPERIENCE IN MY DREAM
ONLY YOU CAN BE MY BABY
EXPERIENCE IN MY DREAM
ONLY YOU CAN BE MY BABY
EXPERIENCE IN MY DREAM
ONLY YOU CAN BE MY BABY
EXPERIENCE IN MY DREAM
ONLY YOU CAN BE MY BABY
冷たい夜熱い涙
金と銀の傷の痛み
虚ろな日々はしゃいだ夢
時を止めて囁く詩人
見失う面影だけ
傾いた世界から
切り取られた場面差し出す
EXPERIENCE IN MY DREXM 答えた瞳
EXPERIENCE IN MY DREAM
BE MY BABY
EXPERIENCE IN MY DREXM
消えることなく
EXPERIENCE IN MY DREAM
BE MY BABY
何処まででも果てることない
銀河を旅するように
すべての心が求めてる
スターライト光って
めぐりめぐる迷路まわりまわる心
EXPERIENCE IN MY DREAM
EXPERIENCE IN MY DREAM
EXPERIENCE IN MY DREAM

EXPERIENCE IN MY DREAM
EXPERIENCE IN MY DREAM

Overall Meaning

These lyrics speak about the duality and contrasting elements of life. The first few lines mention various pairs of opposite things, such as "表と裏" (front and back), "影と光" (shadow and light), "空と大地" (sky and earth), "水と砂漠" (water and desert), and "雨と日差し" (rain and sunshine), emphasizing the balance and harmony between these opposing forces. The lyrics also mention the concept of time, with the idea of stopping time and a wandering poet, perhaps suggesting the reflection and contemplation of the past and future.

The chorus of the song, "EXPERIENCE IN MY DREAM," suggests that this whole experience is happening within a dream-like state. The singer expresses a desire for someone to be their baby, emphasizing a deep connection and shared experiences. They reflect on the intensity and warmth of past encounters, the memories that have left an indelible mark on their heart and mind.

In the second verse, the lyrics describe the contrasting emotions and experiences one may go through. There is mention of a cold night and hot tears, the pain of wounds made of gold and silver, and the hollowness of playful dreams. The poet whispers in this time-stopped world, holding onto the fading remnants of lost memories. It implies that these images and scenes are like captured moments from a tilted world.

Throughout the song, there is a recurring theme of the heart and its movement. The lyrics describe how all hearts come alive and move at the moment when a season that will never return races past. The parallel is drawn to a spinning mirror ball, suggesting a sense of exhilaration and disorientation. It is implied that the singer's heart longs for someone to be their baby, the only one who can bring meaning and fulfillment to their experiences.

The final part of the song reflects on the limitless nature of the journey through the galaxy, with hearts seeking and longing for something. The lyrics mention the metaphorical starlight shining and the maze-like journey that hearts continue to undertake. "EXPERIENCE IN MY DREAM" is repeated several times, emphasizing the significance of the dream-like state and the depth of the experiences within it.

Overall, these lyrics convey a sense of introspection, contrasting emotions, and a longing for a deep connection with someone amidst the ups and downs of life's experiences.

Line by Line Meaning

表と裏影と光
The contrast between the front and back, shadow and light

空と大地水と砂漠
The relationship between the sky and the earth, water and desert

雨と日差し過去と未来
The interplay between rain and sunshine, past and future

時を止め彷徨う詩人
The poet wandering, trying to stop time

触れ合った肌のぬくもり
The warmth of their touched skin

交わしあった言葉が胸騒ぎの鼓動振り切る
The exchanged words shake the anxious heartbeat

EXPERIENCE IN MY DREAM 見つめた瞳
The experience in the dream, gazing into their eyes

EXPERIENCE IN MY DREAM BE MY BABY
The experience in the dream, wanting them to be their baby

EXPERIENCE IN MY DREAM 忘れられない
The unforgettable experience in the dream

EXPERIENCE IN MY DREAM BE MY BABY
The experience in the dream, wanting them to be their baby

二度とは戻らない季節が走り過ぎる瞬間に
The seasons that will never return, in moments that pass by quickly

すべての心が動き出すミラーボールのように
All hearts start moving, like a mirror ball

めぐりめぐる目眩まわりまわる心
The revolving dizziness, the spinning heart

EXPERIENCE IN MY DREAM ONLY YOU CAN BE MY BABY
The experience in the dream, knowing only they can be their baby

冷たい夜熱い涙金と銀の傷の痛み
The cold nights, hot tears, the pain of gold and silver scars

虚ろな日々はしゃいだ夢時を止めて囁く詩人
The hollow days, joyful dreams, the poet whispering while trying to stop time

見失う面影だけ傾いた世界から切り取られた場面差し出す
Only the fading traces lost, presenting scenes cut from tilting worlds

EXPERIENCE IN MY DREAM 答えた瞳
The experience in the dream, answering their gaze

EXPERIENCE IN MY DREAM BE MY BABY
The experience in the dream, wanting them to be their baby

EXPERIENCE IN MY DREAM 消えることなく
The experience in the dream, never fading

EXPERIENCE IN MY DREAM BE MY BABY
The experience in the dream, wanting them to be their baby

何処まででも果てることない銀河を旅するように
Traveling through the galaxy, without an end in sight

すべての心が求めてるスターライト光って
All hearts are seeking, shining like starlight

めぐりめぐる迷路まわりまわる心
The revolving maze, the spinning heart

EXPERIENCE IN MY DREAM
The experience in the dream

Lyrics © O/B/O APRA AMCOS
Written by: JILL

Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind

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Most interesting comments from YouTube:

Brandon Coffey

4y↑7

It really hit home for me when she spoke about no Dr, Psychologist and other medical professionals not understanding. I have been to countless Dr's, counselors, psychs and tried a few different medications. Came pretty close to benzo addiction, I was just lucky that I wasn't in too deep. For years I have been avoiding the word depersonalization because I was so fixated on it when it all first started happening and as part of my 'recovery', I had to completely abandon DPDR and use the word 'anxiety'. Its complete bulls**t! I may have anxiety too (I think almost everyone does really in this day and age) but it is so much more deeper than that and no one cares :(

I dont blame them though, before I ever had such a condition theres no way I could comprehend what something like this is like and figure someone telling me that they 'dont feel real' are just being weird.

I hope everyone else who is suffering from this is able to find strength and fight through it to the best of their ability and live a happy fulfilling life

Ksenia Rasputin

1y↑18

I had it for the first time in 2013, after I went off antidepressants, and after a miscarriage.
It lasted maybe a second, but it scared me put of my wits. It literally seemed like I am the only being in the whole universe, and all the people I love are just a dream. A feeling of boundless, terrible loneliness.
I was sure I'd gone mad. Went right to a psychiatrist, who was unimpressed – oh, she said. That's just derealization. It is an ultimate manifestation of anxiety.
This helped, but for months I kept ruminating on existential thoughts, trying to shake off the terrible solipcism, trying to convince myself that it's all BS, my brain's glitch (which it is, of course).
At last, after more than a year, I simply became so tired, so exhausted of it. I felt like it will never go away. I remember writing a letter to my husband, that if I ever go insane he would know that I've always loved him...
Guess what? Shortly after this, when I was completely despairing... derealization, and the thoughts were gone. It really got better. I reduced stress, I stuck to my day schedule (but ABSOLUTELY NO EXHAUSTING YOURSELF, it can make things worse), and it got better!
Now, after ten years, I still have it sometimes. It is brief, it is still scary – but I already know it. It goes away pretty fast. And, you know, if I weren't depressed, it would have probably never returned at all.
Sorry for this long comment. What I wanted to say is – dear people who suffer from this, YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
THIS STUFF IS YOUR BRAIN BRIEFLY GLITCHING.
YOU ARE REAL. THR WORLD AND THE PEOPLE ARE REAL.
YOU WILL GET BETTER.
Hugs.

All comments from YouTube:

Mary Chaplin

5y↑489

I’ve had this for 4 years now and it won’t go away no matter what I do. People don’t understand how truly terrifying this is.

Mads Galtung

4y↑39

Mary Chaplin Try thinking hard that you Are not captured by a calendar, no schedule, no plans whatsoever. Just feel the noises and movements of today, now. Close your eyes sometimes and go a couple meters. You will feel more alive, I can tell you that!

Shrrade

4y↑73

My advice: stop researching it, stop thinking about it as much as you can (hard I know) and stop talking about it unless you really need to. That’s how I got over it

FunWithAiman

4y↑28

I feel you. It feels as if you’re shielded by a void, and you feel dreamlike. Everything seems scripted and that you’re unable to feel yourself and your mind is constantly cloudy, and memory recall is a nightmare itself. Don’t worry.

hairystyles42

4y↑15

@Shrrade Same here. It took a couple years, but I am so much better now. Hardly happens unless I smoke weed or am sleep deprived.

Shrrade

4y↑5

hairystyles42 I had it for a few months, doesn’t really happen anymore unless I’m in really deep thought and snap out of it, sudden change of environment (for example stepping outside) sleep deprived as you said or flooding with endorphins, it only lasts a few seconds though. I think that it was already there when I did those things but I had nothing to relate it to, maybe that derealization was always there in a way.

37 More Replies...

Hunter

5y↑608

struggle with DPDR every day, but making gradual progress. Watching others talk openly about this helps ground me. Thank you <3

Leona Swift

5y↑4

Hope you’re ok🖤

Hunter

5y↑1

awesome, requested :)@oh louda

Gustaf

5y↑1

oh louda Can I speak to you too?

oh louda

5y↑1

@Hunter i'm so sorry, i probably rejected your follow request. make sure to request again!

20 More Replies...

Stylianos Papadopoulos

43w↑2

She is only 16! Omg, what a profound and comforting speech. Thank you from a fellow sufferrer.

Alejandro T

1y↑39

My last depersonalization episode was five years ago. At that time, I would lock myself in my bathroom and spend the entire day there (literally). I wasn't able to go outside because It would cause me to question my existence. I almost felt like I died and I was living in my afterlife.

5 years later (today). I'm fully healed. It took a long time to realize it was all in my head. I don't know what else (if anything) contributed to my healing, but I'm happy again.

junaid

Can you tell me how you got through it ?

Daniel Schmidinger

@junaid it is probably because you don't feel safe in your own body. So your attention detaches from your body and you feel like you're just watching yourselr

Mahmoud Elsaraf

50w

How recover from dp please

John D.

48w

how did you recover if I may ask?

junaid

48w

@John D. Tbh it doesn't go completely away , you have to take it as something that you shouldn't be afraid of , tell yourself every time that it is going to go away and its not something I should afraid of and also you need to calm yourself that you aren't going to get crazy

3 More Replies...

Jaymes

4y↑147

As somebody who went through this for almost two years, and still has episodes. It can be something you can tame, it's the fear that feeds depersonalisation, once you're able to tame that fear and face it in the face, while not being scared, but viewing it as a temporary feeling, you can conquer it. I know it sounds cliche, because I heard 'recovery' stories when I was going through the horrors of the feeling, but trust me. It's nothing to be afraid of in the end.

Luka V

thx

Christian Silva

2y↑1

I'm 10 years old, it's chronic

tr 145

2y↑1

thankyou for sharing this🥺

Hector Freire

This is so interesting. How do you tame it? Do you tell yourself something to help you resist it? Did you start to realize something other than terror in detaching yourself from personhood? Sorry I'm curious

TheyHate-Fendii

2y↑1

@Hector Freire talk to your mom about it or parents when it’s bad that calms u down and try and go outside more if you play basketball play basketball the more you go on with ur regular life the better it gets and try and remember how it feels when it’s starting to kick in it’s makes it wayy easier for you to control which leads to you forgetting about it since you know it’s controllable and that eventually leads to it going away lol

5 More Replies...

J.Chill

5y↑372

Just so y’all know, you CAN beat this!!!! :)))) I went through this after quitting drugs and it gave me severe depression but I BEAT IT. I WON. I FEEL NORMAL AGAIN. This went on for 3 years. But it WILL STOP EVENTUALLY just stop thinking about it try to ignore it and breathe and be patient it eventually stops. I promise :) I’m so happy again!!!

Bomi

5y↑38

I've got it for 1 month now after having a bad trip from smoking too much weed for the first time. I hope it does go away because I can't enjoy life the same way I did before.

envy beats

4y↑2

What drugs you used?

Tanner Brandon

4y↑1

Anyway to contact you

* Sanboi *

4y↑4

i love this comment so much. gives hope

24 More Replies...

Cashxmani

4y↑125

I just found out yesterday I have been dealing with this for 16 years, and I'm only 24! One day in the 3rd grade I woke up and I felt tired (not sleepy, but tired) and generally disinterested in life. I tried to explain it to my mom but she never understood. I was so happy to find out that it had a name and there were other people that felt like me!

July

4y↑14

Omg exactly the same for me! I also woke up one day (8 years ago, I'm 19 now) and since that day it has never been gone... It's a pure nightmare

Katie

3y↑2

reading things like this reallay is comforting I'm 19 and just found out this feelings is called DRDP and I've had it since 2nd grade when I went to a natural history museum. My therapist said I must be getting PTSD from when it started

Themellowbutterfly_

3y↑3

Omg sameee, life and memories are a haze, I can't remember most of my childhood I'm 17 now and I only recently found the term depersonolisation/derealisation and it was a huge relief to know I'm not alone.... Panic attacks are frequent for me, but I can't imagine life without it. My dream-like reality is my brains way of keeping me from experiencing deeper trauma, detatching from reality makes it hard to formulate memory. This is a downside of course bc fomo right, I can't experience the fullness of reality of life like those without DR/DP but at the same time no-one else can experience and fully understand my life if they don't have DRDP. I've decided to coexist with it, allow it to shape me into the person people ,separate from my trauma, know and love <3

Call me bhagwan

2y↑5

When I am in public place I feel disconnected from the surrounding. It doesn't happen everytime I am around people or in public. I went for shopping yesterday and I felt like I couldn't function properly, I couldn't cross the road properly. I was also unable to understand what the shopkeeper was saying and wasn't able to focus on what I was asking. I have experienced like this a lot of times but was never bothered to search why I feel like this. Can this be derealization?

Shikhar Srivastava

2y↑2

@Call me bhagwan the symptoms that you are stating are clear indications of derealization disorder . i'm going thru it as of now since 14 days :) hope you're well and fine and also hoping that this feeling shall pass someday !

18 More Replies...

Alexis Young

4y↑321

I remember how relived I was after I finally told a friend about how I felt and he reassured me I was real and it calmed me down a bit. Mirrors scare me . I feel like I’m watching myself in the third person , floating above myself . I’m scared I’m living in a coma or a dream and I can’t wake up. It feels like I could die any minute and there’s nothing anybody can do to help . like there is a barrier between me and everything else in the world . Like it’s all a program and everyone is a robot. I can’t wait till it stops . Having friends know and tell you you are real everyday helps

Jack Smith

4y↑5

You are not alone

Shubhranshu Panda

3y↑6

We're all going through it together. Don't worry.
As she said, as bad as it seems, but it has also made us who we are. And we do love us. Right? We want to live. We are the hopefuls. Let the hope stay within if not anything else.

Luka V

2y↑6

@Drift Addict Go to a trauma specialised therapist if you can, also have you been better? I know my dpdr has gotten way better although the progress isn't exactly linear it's still progress, it was caused by a bad marijuana experience.

idk

2y↑4

you’re definitely not alone. It’s terrifying. I feel like i’ve lost myself and i feel like i don’t even have thoughts anymore. I don’t feel real at all, I just feel like my life is happening without me. Whenever i’m with other people i look at them and wish i was like them and felt real.

rng _nr22angel

i feel exactly the same

2 More Replies...

Lynda Williams

5y↑46

What a beautiful person you are, and so very brave standing up there on stage doing this talk, what a contributing speech you have done for this world :)

Mariella Bush

1y↑6

I’ve had this for over seven years but people who have recovered say it doesn’t go until you accept it and stop being scared of it. Feelings of hopelessness is a symptom of derealisation so that makes sense. Good luck everyone who has it and don’t fear it it’s just your mind’s way of protecting you from anxiety❤️

Denise Klainguti

1y↑15

As someone diagnosed with CPTSD I've been suffering from this extremely annoying feeling for almost 1.5 years. Constantly. It's soothing to hear I'm not alone with it, and that for the case it won't go away, it's possible to be happy again. :)

Nick Reyes

2y↑50

Living in a purgatory between life and death. That is exactly how this feels

elisem1912

yes

jjk56

2y↑5

It feels like Im living in a dream or a simulation constantly for me

lex.cordis

I went through it for over two years chronically, but have been "cured" for a few years now. It was triggered largely by my own personally understanding of the implications of quantum mechanics and constant obsessive existential ruminations. It was horrifying Wishing you peace and blessings. You can get through it.

Daniel Schmidinger

I don't want to scare you but that's what you are: awareness. If you stop fighting it and stop fighting your own body, thoughts and mind it will get better. Do everything you can to feel safe in your own body again

Nick Reyes

@Daniel Schmidinger appreciate that. Ive come to realize that as of late

2 More Replies...

C James

2y↑29

All DPDR is, is a sensation created by anxiety. It's not harmful, it's acting as a way to protect you by dissociating yourself from a highly stressful situation. Unfortunately, anxiety makes your mind believe you're always in a highly stressful situation, so this sensation is there alot of the time for many anxiety sufferers. However, rest assured, once you reduce and remove the anxiety completely, the sensation fades away completely and forever.

Justin Joe

1y↑7

This is all anybody needs to hear. I've had this twice severely, ur 1000% correct. The reason I say this is all anybody needs ti hear is because if you get too fixated on it, it gets so much worse. Also sunglasses help for some reason lol

Elmoss

I have it for 5 years now. I am used of it now.

Sindhu O. B.

2 months back I listened an audio on YouTube after that i am getting depersonalization attacks.when I researched about the channel i got to know that she is 21year old psychologist and she uses hypnosis in her videos to get desired results like model face, blue eyes,etc

Please help me what i should do

Justin Joe

1y↑1

@Mothlord ya I got a lil too used to it at one point lol. Was afraid to take ‘em off even indoors and even slept with em😂

5 More Replies...

King Nola..

2y↑25

Let's fight for a cure for this disorder that makes no sense to last such a long time 🙏✊

Rhys' Mental Health

1y↑28

I’ve had dpdr 24/7 for 3 years now. I’m 22 now and I was 19 when it began. I experienced it periodically when I was younger although I didn’t know what it was at the time.

Ironically this disorder has made my anxiety, panic attacks and depression so much worse. I still feel all the horrible emotions but am numb to EVERY positive emotion.

I honestly don’t see how I could possibly get out of this other than in a coffin. I’m going to keep pushing regardless. It’s safe to say I’m losing hope.

Daniel Marius

1y↑3

I'm also 22, been dealing with this for 3 years now, since having some concentrated weed oil stuff. It feels really hopeless and idk how I've managed so far. The doctor just tells me it's caused by anxiety but it feels like it's the depersonalization that's causing the anxiety. I've somehow learned to cope but I've had my moments where I freaked out. I must say though, over the years it's become easier to kind of ignore and I believe that one day I will feel normal again.

Elmoss

1y↑8

I also have it. I have it now for 5 years. Now I am used to it. I don't remember how it was before.

Rhys' Mental Health

1y↑5

@Daniel Marius I was a mess the first year or so but you’re right it does get easier to cope with and ignore. Nowadays I’m a more controlled mess aha.

I hope one day both of our brains allow us to feel again :)

Rhys' Mental Health

1y↑4

@Elmoss I can still vaguely remember how I used to feel.

When I try to remember what life used to be it’s like when you forget something and it’s on the tip of your tongue. That’s how I’d describe how my brain feels about life before dpdr.

Gadi Kalman

1y↑1

Please don’t give up hope. There are so many people like you and you are not alone. Please don’t be afraid to get help from the suicide hotline. You are needed!

6 More Replies...

The bruh dudes

5y↑109

You are not alone. There is always hope. The key is acceptance.

STXRBOY999

Lindsay Reese 😌

Hair

5y↑5

It's not that easy it's so hard to say "hey this is real!" But you quickly go back to the disorder and you give up

Hair

@andrew do you think it's that easy? "Oh I got depression but let's just throw that out the window" no its not like that your not in charge of the disorder

Ashton Davis

@Hair how are you today?? Are you okay?

Hair

@Ashton Davis hey what’s up. I still have the disorder and it still takes a toll on my life. I’m searching for treatment. Also FYI the cure isn’t “acceptance” it’s mental help

3 More Replies...

Levnerad

5y↑33

Omg this is such an accurate depiction of the condition. I used to think I was just more philosophically inclined than other people but ever since smoking weed heightened existential thinking such thoughts became more intrusive and detrimental towards my well being. Feels good to know someone else feels so similarly

Nathan Ferguson

4y↑7

I completely understand you mate. I spent a summer smoking weed, camping and deep in thought. At first I thought it could only be a good thing - you develop an appreciation for nature and you begin to think of life on a level that you would never be able to achieve in a sober state. But it can turn on you and it did for me. People aren't mean't to expose themselves to that level of existential thinking too often otherwise you will lose hope and feel like there is no meaning when in reality there is. I'm trying to regain my control on reality through various means and one of those means is by distracting myself from those existential thoughts by trying to find things that I love doing that will ground me in the MOMENT.

Levnerad

4y↑4

Nathan Ferguson
Yeah. I never would have thought I would so badly wan’t to trade in some of my intelligence just to become a simpleton and not have metaphysical thoughts

Arsen Malaj

@Nathan Ferguson hey guys how has it been for you 1 year later? Did you recover? I'm in the same boat. 2 months now struggling with constant dp and existential thoughts and altered perception. It has gotten so bad that I can't watch the sky at night because I'm afraid and it feels so weird. I would appreciate a conversation and some exchange of ideas though. No one from my family or friends understand me 😔

Nathan Ferguson

3y↑3

@Arsen Malaj Hi Arsen, first off, I'm so sorry, I know exactly what you're going through and I also know what it's like for no one to understand. Having no one who understood my condition made the experience far more difficult to get through. But, I have good news for you; I did eventually recover. It was a slow process that took many months so it's important to be patient with yourself, it's not an easy thing to get out of. I personally had to take a lot of time to re-analyze my life and find the source of the anxiety that was triggering my DP; once I found the source, I was able to come to terms with it. I don't know what is triggering your DP, so I can't give specific advice on how you can fix it, but I wanted you to know that it is possible to move past it. DP is nothing more than a protective mechanism, your body is trying to distance itself from the issues within your life, and that can be extremely disorientating and scary, but, if you correct the underlying cause, then your body will have no reason to protect itself. Give yourself time, find a distraction and be kind to yourself when the episodes occur, find the source of your DP and find a way to deal with it or learn to accept it. A year on and I'm still very much the same existential person, who ponders the intricacies of life on a daily basis, but my perspective has shifted in a far more positive direction so that my body no longer feels the need to detach itself from reality in order to feel safe.

If you have any more questions then please feel free to ask.
All the best mate.

Angela Lomeli

Bruh fr !!

Luce

2y↑37

i'm crying. For years I thought I was crazy but when I learned about depersonalisation, I felt understood

kyzourz

2y↑1

i relate

alli dixon

2y↑1

me too bru thi shi is crazy

:skull:

@alli dixon on god

329 beats

45w

this is exactly how i feel and have felt for the past 2 ,2 1/2 years with random episodes of depersonalization i remember going to therapist after therapist different physiatrists tryna to find an answer but no one was able to identify it the only way i could describe it was feeling like my life was a lie but i didn’t know how i didn’t know what was real what was not on a day to day basis i described the panic episodes as a feeling of being unfamiliar with myself and all my surroundings then just feeling this rush of anxiety like something was after me.(i described this as if anyone has ever believed in ghosts at any time in there life it is almost a sense that you know something is there and you start feeling like your unsafe in a way you feel attacked from all sides but nothings there) then i just start screaming because i feel like i’m in a dream and thinking maybe if i scream it will wake me up, pinching my wrist bitting my tongue anything i can do to help myself “wake up” but it never worked. the feeling that you feel when this is all happening and even just talking about it feels so surreal and uncanny. then you feel these tingles in the back of your head right after the first couple times of experiencing the episodes when you talk about it sometimes leading into another episode. the thing that i hated the most was that during these episodes when i would try to pinch myself or do something to feel pain so ik i’m awake i was hyperventilating and wasn’t getting enough oxygen into my body and freaking out so much that my nervous system wasn’t acting the same that i didn’t feel the pain it just added to the feeling. over time it has definitely gotten better but i still do not believe it will ever fully go away there’s always going to be that question in the back of my head asking if this is real. but i’m hopeful over time it will continue getting better for myself and everyone else going through the same feelings and emotions!

Brandon Coffey

4y↑7

Condottieri08

5y↑334

Saying that DPDR can be it's own disorder can be quite a dangerous thing to say, since many who have dealt with it for years and have recovered can tell you it is literally just a symptom of an over active stress and anxiety response. There is hope and recovery for all who suffer from DPDR, such as myself, but you have to address the real problem: anxiety and anxious thought habits.

Edit: In the years since developing and recovering from DPDR, I came back to correct something. I when I say DPDR is not a disorder, what I meant was that the sensations of depersonalization and derealization are a symptom of an overstimulated stress response, and so to end the sensations of DPDR, you need to address cause of anxiety and stress, not the sensations themselves. I understand that there is such a thing as DPDR disorder in the DSM-V, but that doesn’t mean those sensations are triggered independently from a stress response. The point of this comment was that when I first watched this, I almost was convinced it never gets better. Fast forward to 2022, and I haven’t felt prolonged DPDR in almost 2 years. I only feel it as a symptom of a panic attack, and now that I know how to handle it, the feeling dissipates after a short time. All this is to say that if you have a greater underlying issue such as C-PTSD that is causing the DPDR, of course it isn’t going to just go away, but the symptoms can be lessened as you recover from your overstimulated stress response firing at all times. I hope everyone here finds healing and some sort of recovery or relief.

oh louda

5y↑36

DPDR is a disorder that is recognized in the DSM-5

oh louda

5y↑16

also I noted that only 2% of those who experience DP/DR actually have it as its own separate disorder, not ignoring the fact that the onset of this can be by many different traumatic experiences such as childhood abuse, drug use, and PTSD.

Condottieri08

5y↑24

@oh louda I am aware of the DSM V placing it under the category of disorder for those who have it on a chronic level. I may have incorrectly worded my point. Typically when something is a disorder, to treat it means that the main problem is DPDR. But to treat it you do not try to fix the DPDR, but rather you address the anxiety that perpetuates it. Now if that is the main symptom of a deeper issue, then the treatment can be far more involved since the issue is more than just DPDR like a far more serious dissociative disorder. I guess by accepting it as just a disorder of it's own with anxiety only being a symptom creates quite an issue for those trying to recover. Now everyone is different so your journey is definitely different from mine but my approach to recovery was to address it as a symptom of the main issue being anxiety and I went from chronic DPDR to only having mild sensations and residual anxieties that have improved as time went on.

Condottieri08

5y↑14

markmatthews As vague as this sounds, it doesn't feel like anything remarkable. It feels like normal. You just understand you are real and tangible. You stop self monitoring and ruminating. You're so distracted by normal life that you forget to worry if that means anything. DP/DR is just an over active stress response that, once dealt with correctly, will eventually reverse itself. Did you get yours from a panic attack?

Julianne lougheed

5y↑2

@Condottieri08 Hi there, I've been in a derealized state for the past two months after a really bad panic attack. Naturally its slowly gotten better and I thought it was just going to magically go away but my progress has plateaued. Im working on calming my anxiety and thinking positivley but its hard when I dont really feel anything but nothingness. Do you have any information on the best route to take to make it go away? Or any tips at all thank you its appreciated

125 More Replies...

Ksenia Rasputin

1y↑18

John D.

48w

hi did things get better for you?

Faceless Facer

1y↑41

I had an episode that lasted only about 10 minutes, my reflection in my t.v. calmed me, only because it assured me that I was still real and very much alive with complete control over my body. My dog also helped keep me calm through it.

Sara C.

1y↑2

I'm happy that brought you back. I looked at myself in the mirror and didn't know who that was. It was the most devastating experience I've ever had.

Charlie Gall

1y↑1

@sarac.3568 if I'm getting it bad I almost can't look in mirrors because I feel like I don't know who is looking back at me

Julia Capuzzi

4y↑33

Just found this word. Been dealing with this my whole life. I’m 20 now and accepted my dreamlike reality. Thought everyone dealt with this until I started describing the feelings I felt.

Merds

4y↑4

I experienced the same for around 9 months when I was 10. I am now fully recovered (this was 7 years ago) so please don't give up hope. I know how the feeling consumes your thoughts but I PROMISE that there is a way out as long as you make sure you have regular contact with other people/ activities to keep you busy.

Maestro Stefano Petrini

2y↑1

have you ever taken benzodiazepines? They can cause long-term depersonalization. And have you ever tried to go to sleep no later than 9:30 pm? Respecting biorhythms the problem goes away

Dean Randall

1y↑5

My first episode was in the summer of 2015, and I was at the movie theater with my camp group. I was sitting normally when all of the sudden I began to have these existential thoughts flood my mind. I felt my heart beating out of my chest and everything around me began to spin. After a few minutes, I was able to calm myself down and continue life as usual. Over the next few weeks, I had occasional episodes but it was manageable. In the following years, I never stopped thinking about why I was having these feelings. Although I didn’t have any episodes for a while after that summer, I would still have these intrusive thoughts from time to time.

Nearly 8 years later, I have become consumed by this feeling and nothing has helped me make it go away. Over the past few months, I have had looming feelings of anxiety and dpdr, but I told myself that it was nothing and that it would go away on its own. However, the past few weeks have been unbearable and these feelings have completely engulfed my mind. Every day I feel like I’m living in some kind of dream, and it’s nearly impossible to distinguish between reality and fantasy. What was occasional episodes has become a constant feeling that I can’t escape. Every day is becoming harder and I keep convincing myself that I’m going crazy and that I’ll never be the same. This crippling illness has taken every last bit of happiness that once existed within me. I don’t know how much longer I can contain myself before these thoughts get the best of me.

Over the past few weeks, I have done so much research and I’ve learned so much about this disorder. I’ve also learned that so many other people are experiencing the same thing. For so long, I believed that I was the only one experiencing this and that I was completely alone in this struggle. For anyone who is going through this, just know that you are not alone and that these feelings will pass even if it feels hopeless.

Dark Kid

1y↑5

I remember my first experience with this nightmare when I was on a picnic with my family and I felt like my soul is stuck inside my body I even told my sister to slap me because I could physically feel everything but it still felt like a dream ..I wish this never happens to anybody 💔

Denise Jasmine

2y↑15

I’ve been experiencing this daily for about 4 1/2years. It changed my life. Since I was 14 I had panic attacks that I knew were different than how other people described their panic attacks. I know now that they were intense episodes of derealization and panic. I experience more derealization than depersonalization (or at least that’s the one I dwell on the most). 4 1/2years ago I had a one of these episodes only it didn’t really go away. The next morning everything was still so weird and looked like an illusion. My adrenaline was still super high. It was hellish. My life never went back to a place or normalcy. Since then I don’t really leave my house at night. I struggle to go anywhere and can’t work full time. I’ve had to give up so many things. It’s so difficult to find a therapist, psychiatrist, etc who is knowledgeable about it (they know of it but they aren’t specialized in it). It has crippled my life. And it’s even harder when the people around you don’t understand. I’m sorry this comment just turned into venting. It truly has been such a struggle and every day feels like something I have to endure.

Tn Crizzy

1y↑2

I’ve been like this for. About 5 months now , working full time . But I also don’t go out or night or even during the day , I just live with it and accept that one day I will be normal again

Sindhu O. B.

1 More Replies...

Allan Zepeda

5y↑35

I have struggled with this since 2004. It's been terrible having this for so long that it's eaten a large chunk of my happiness. And I have found a solution so far that's works for me.

1.) I go outside breathe and look at moving objects around me (cars, traffic and people ) . 2.) I look at both of my hands and move them around in fluid circular motion. 3.) I force my eyes to track and focus on my hands while they move for a couple of seconds. 4.) Then I stop , look down on the ground and then look straight ahead slowly looking up. I remind myself to keep looking at traffic, people, cars , and moving objects in a fluid motion. I pay attention to the last frame of what I saw. So in a way I remove the movie feel or 24frames per second feeling. This is happening in the Optic Nerves along with your sinuses senses. So you need to force your eyes to focus strong and you might get a slight headache after but keep doing it until you train yourself to see the world in fluid motion and come back to your normal self! Also if you want to train your ears at the same time, buy an Audio recorder with live audio feed and listen to your environment clearer with earbuds while doing this exercise. Cheers everyone! ☺️

Vicdog408

4y↑3

Allan Zepeda gonna try and remember to do this.. thanks brother!

tr 145

2y↑2

THANKSSS ALLAN

Eliana LaRocque

5y↑3

too powerful!!! so incredibly well said. you are going to go places ms laura ashley

Alexis Retzepis

5y↑93

SO happy this is getting noticed. DPDR is real!

Who Knows

5y↑2

Definitely it is real.

Excuse Me

4y↑5

Ironic comment

rebekah b

1y↑5

Very frustrating when doctors and psychiatrist don’t know what dpdr is.

:skull:

@Excuse Me lmao

Kurt Olson

1y↑54

I had the same experience acutely after smoking marijuana. The after effects lasted for years and years. It seemed to create panic as a symptom, of the DP. At the time nobody believed that the MJ caused it. I have never had that experience in life except on MJ. Doctors thought it may have been laced, but it was tested and it wasn't. DP is such a horrible thing. It's NOT a Joe Rogan "finding truth or expanding perception" prospect. It is also NOT something that soft or weak people only experience. People who "smoke" regularly laugh often say, "you had a bad trip, we ALL have". This is more than a bad trip, and is real and something is amiss in the brain chemistry of those who suffer. Thanks for your presentation Laura, I wish I had heard this is 1987. Peace and love.

Peyton McKinney

1y↑6

Hey Kurt. Have you recovered fully now? Ive been dealing with this for 3 years now. Some days are better than others but I still feel like a complete different person than I did before. My biggest concern is my memory and future mental health. My memory is also what triggers me now and causes me to panic. For example if I am questioned about something that happened in the past and I don’t remember it, Ill start freaking out that Im losing my mind. I just need some reassurance of hope. If you could get back to me that would be great. Thank you!

Roy G. Biv

1y↑7

I’ve even experienced it with alcohol. Anything that causes mind altering effects, causes my DPDR to kick in.

Erin Dowling

1y↑2

@Peyton McKinney Many people get over it with deep meditation. Also something called NPL hypnosis meditation.

Peyton McKinney

1y↑2

@Erin Dowling Thank you!

Michael Elijah

1y↑3

@Peyton McKinney wow dude. I got the goosebumps reading your comment. I feel the exact same way. My memory is shot and it terrifies me. I still smoke daily, all day. Today I made the decision to hopefully change for the good.

Good luck dude. ❤️

7 More Replies...

TR KYLE

4y↑5

I suffer with suicidal ideation (active), and have experienced loads of episodes where i loose myself, control on what is happening, and has lead me to attempts ive not wanted to do but saw myself do them. I am finally coming to grasps with my condition and have plenty of safety measures in place as i live by myself and have no one around. Only recently just over 2 years of daily episodes, this dissociative derealization/depersonalization disorder is whats been happening and to begin to understand the condition further through videos like this is extremely helpful, so much makes so much more sense and hopefully i can keep hold of my actual reality. thank you for this video

Taylor Wick

3y↑14

Meditation and chakra healing. This brought me out of having it for over 11 years. These two things will bring down your anxieties/fears and help you find the answers that are within you.

Natasha Baria

2y↑1

How does it help? Meditation only helps you get even more aware of it. Chakra Healing will make it surface even more!

Laith H.

2y↑2

The derealization makes it hard to focus on meditating and from my experience only triggers deeper episodes. I'm glad it helped you but this isn't the answer for everyone.

Ogc Constrictors

Meditation helps in being aware what and why it’s triggered and therefore not triggering it

Moises Martínez Jr.

41w↑1

The crazy part is that here I am (or am I?) reading these comments that recognize what I’m feeling, at the same time questioning if it is real in the first place to begin with. I feel better by not feeling alone anymore, but even that feeling doesn’t feel real, though I know that logically it is. This very thought, thought written by me feels like someone else’s character.

Ingenue

41w↑1

that’s why this sucks so bad because we are aware and can use logic and understand our surrounding but nothing feels real

JinE

4y↑12

Let's look to our past, and re-connect with ourselves... Grieve and change our current situation... Growth from this Dp/Dr is 100%!

Natures Depth

1y↑7

11 years for me.. This is my life now, no-one truly understands unless they have it. You just have to accept it and not fight it

Hoping to live

50w

😢

erufenn

45w

I’ve come to the same conclusion myself, after years of seclusion trying to fight it silently in my head I’ve learned that I just need to accept it

Crystal Nibarger

I just started going through these symptoms and I figured I'd do some research now and find ways to help relieve it before it gets any worse. Although I started feeling these feelings when it came to going to work even though nothing traumatic happened. The only traumatic event that just happened is that I found out my son's father and his gf are expecting and my brain didn't wanna believe it so it triggered the depersonalization even more. Some days are nearly as bad as others.

Sherise Todd

2y↑2

I am glad she discussed this to help bring depersonalization to light.

HippieAtHeart

44w

Wow. I am 65 and just learned this is basically me. I have not actually felt my whole body ever but is coming. I just feel it

Ratzy G

5y↑888

When i first got this i almost went insane i thought that my life was all a lie and i thought that i was just in a dream and that maybe if i died i would wake up.

Toch Odita

4y↑16

same

Vicdog408

4y↑20

Ratzy G try not to think this brother! You’re not alone

IFFYx3

4y↑31

I feel like I'm losing my damn mind!

Sea Raider

4y↑43

Haha I sometimes get these thoughts as well. Everything is so bizarre, that I sometimes feel like life really IS some sort of hallucination/dream and that death would finally wake me up.

39 More Replies...

lIDestroyIl

2y↑5

I suffer from minor depersonalization and a lot of derealization, and a Generalized anxiety disorder. Been going through it since December 2021. It sucks and I wish none of us have to go through this.

Ahmed Cherif

2y↑1

It's the worst feeling I feel like am dead or just a soul somtimes am inside a dream or an illusion.

lIDestroyIl

@Ahmed Cherif I used to get anxious cause I would get the feeling of nothing being real and even thoughts about it would freak me out. It’s a slow recovery process for me. I’ve been doing therapy once a week, seeing a psychiatrist every few months, and have a counselor that comes about 3 times a week. I also get a variety of intrusive thoughts. Also, I get anxious over little things most of the time mainly thoughts though.

Ahmed Cherif

@lIDestroyIl me too,I hope we all cet better

Ahmed Cherif

@lIDestroyIl is therapy helping

lIDestroyIl

@Ahmed Cherif yeah, it’s helping over time I learn how to communicate with the part of my brain that derealization and depersonalization happens

1 More Replies...

lol

50w↑1

I don’t know if I have this but a couple months ago I got this feeling and ever since I get it a lot more often. I could be going on a walk or in the car, or even just talking with people and it suddenly feels like I’m dreaming and nothing is real. it’s really scary and I don’t know how to stop it

Big T97

2y↑9

if you are going thru this right now, just know there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I had this my whole life and since i hit 24 (one year ago) i have been out of it. just know it will get better i promise

channelname

2y↑1

i hope ur right

jjk56

2y↑2

@channelname Im 16 and it feels like Im constantly dreaming and that everyone and everything acts artificial and weird somehow. Also words and sounds are meaningless. They feel fake. It feels like Im not really there....

jjk56

2y↑2

@channelname I also feel like Im on autopilot and that sometimes I question what I say and it feels like I dont have full control on what Im saying. Even my own thoughts and words feel fake. The whole concept feels fake. The word "word" doesn't make sense

Sandra L Giles

@jjk56oh my gosh, I thought it was just me..I get the same feelings..as I’m talking I feel like it’s not me and I stop talking. Thank you for letting me know I’m not alone

etcher1981

I've had it for 24 years 24/7. Don't give people false hope. Some people will have it for life.

august violin

1y↑3

It feels like I just never truly "get" what life's about. Embodiment is strange to me. Depersonalization is the word for what I've felt since at least six or seven years old. I remember the first time I saw myself in the third person. I was probably five.

William

5y↑14

I have felt like this for over a year now, but finally i can pin it down. Sometimes i can’t see if i ever have felt truly well in the last couple of weeks, but i know that it always gets better. At the start it was constant, but now its just in spurts, short or long. Hopefully now that i know what i truly have, and know i am not going insane i hope i can put it to rest.

Lily Stultz

How are you doing now?

Gav

39w

I'm pretty sure I've had it for like 7 months. It started when I started getting less sleep due to schoolwork getting harder and having to spend more time on it. My brain just shut down and I ran on autopilot, like I was watching myself through a screen. It got bad in June bc of finals, but after they were over, I was able to get a lot more sleep, which helped it not be as bad atm

Pau Herrera

1y↑1

Someone of you suffering DP/DR for years have studied a degree or is competing in some sport?

That's my case, 10 years of suffering this, 3 years ago I started to improve but haven't dissapear completely yet. On the other hand, I have studied a degree and a master and playing football in competition, it has been very difficult but I have done it. We have to keep fighting, don't give up!

ella rice

2y↑8

it’s such a strange feeling, it gets better though I started experiencing it end of August 2021 and was horrified of life and the thought of being alive, slowly but surely the fear goes away

Um actually

5y↑9

Wow I never heard about this.. very very interesting! Thankful for being shared this experience

Robert Pinto

5y↑3

I have had DP/DR on and off for thr past three months. Lately it is showing up again because of some stressful life events. The symptoms are strange to say the least. For some reason, looking at photos triggers it the most. I look at a photo for 1 second and it feels the effect from looking at that photo for 1 second feels like forever. I also noticed my hearing level improved greatly after I had the symptoms. The senses are under a feeling of extremely heightened awareness. It certainly feels like that. I keep telling myself that evrythingnis the same as it always has been. That is my coping mechanism.

Ximon Whhatt

In my life my trauma has not been as intense as others but still had some trauma.

Though when I started meditating to a pretty extreme level I have felt as if I'm seeing the physicality of myself experiencing a dream reality of my own thoughts.

bluesageful

2y↑2

I've had this for 47 yrs now. I'm 60. And after going through therapy, neurologist, and research at the local university, I can say that they STILL don't know what really causes this. And they can't understand it, unless they've felt it. The best therapy is staying productive. At least for me.

manel manel

can i ask you how you feel ? and can we recovered from this disorder

bluesageful

@manel manel Yes, I over came it for about 20 years. During that time I learned to garden, crochet, paint..... creating seemed to be the best for me.... however, it came back when my daughter passed away. Now it's back to being uncontrollable.

bluesageful

@manel manel This best advice I can give you is, if you feel it coming on, direct your thoughts into something else. DON'T dwell on the feelings.

John Crowley

4y↑3

Ive been dealing with this for 9 years and just recently found out what it was. I feel so releived. First time in 9 years i havnt been able to hold back tears

* Sanboi *

what was it?

John Crowley

@* Sanboi * depersonalization

random Rbxp

Wow that sucks

Solana C

2y↑10

I’ve been living with this for 10 years.. sometimes I want to feel normal again but I’m scared to get my feelings back! I don’t think this will ever go away

alli dixon

2y↑1

this is what scares me tbh i have had it for about 6 months and i feel like it will never go away

Prodify

2y↑3

@alli dixon glad im not the only one had it since march 2022 and its so hard trying to think about my future when i feel like this 24/7 , also im 14 too so it sucks

alli dixon

@Prodify bro frr like honestly people jus say tell yourself "im real" and they tell you "dont let your mind take over" but honestly its so hard like i cant control it so i feel you for real on this im sorry this happeningto you ik how hard it is

Prodify

@alli dixon true bro like they think its that easy , sometimes i want people to see how it feels for a day to see their reaction,also thanks bro for helping me out during these times

alli dixon

2y↑1

@Prodify bro fr fr i wish they could see it for themselves and yes bro ofc

8 More Replies...

Divy Dwivedi

5y↑3

you are strong , brave and independent . I am sure you gonna get through this shortly . I had a massive panic attack an year back . From the very next day of experiencing that , i got depersonalised and derealised . Since then my thoughts , behaviour and movement is not under control . I am not me anymore . Imma changed man . One who is out of his body . Despite all these , their is one thing that always stayed with me are my hopes of getting back to normal which kinda drags me to a state where i feel safe and merry.

Vicdog408

4y↑1

Divy Dwivedi never give up hope!

Anshika Chaudhary

1y↑1

How are you now?

Divy Dwivedi

@Anshika Chaudhary i am doing much better..anxieties on and off but i am good..keeping myself busy as much as possible

Divy Dwivedi

@Vicdog408 yeah man

Anshika Chaudhary

@Divy Dwivedi....how to deal with all these things.... literally today I felt like I am going to be insane...or am I really present inside my body....even after looking into tha mirror feels like is this me??......maybe I got stucked inside a cave or in a dream.... it's just scary 😭😭😭....can you please guide me please..

Jeffrey Alan Cella

4y↑10

At one time I could not even think about my disorder because that alone would induce an episode. I was a prisoner of the disorder. At the age of nine, I was diagnosed with Anxiety after I was unable to stay on the baseball field without having an episode.
I'm now sixty-one years of age and still have a mild form of Derealization. Friends simply cannot relate and try to fit it into their non-DR, rational reasoning, telling me things such as, "You're not really lost for long. Just keep driving and you'll realize where you are" or "Your phobia makes no sense at all" or "There are drugs for that."
I relate to your descriptions throughout this video. Imagine having this before the internet or before any books recognized this--so thank you for this talk.

alli dixon

wow

Yoan

2y↑8

I found my de-realization feeling was an inner dis-enlightenment. A lac of light and electrical FLOW inside my brain and blood.
Breathing continuously, longer & deeper (as Wim Hof breathing) brings back that FLOW, enlightening my sens of presence again.

Rachel Kidd

5y↑3

What a wonderful job! Such an important topic and cool gal

TheSovietVorona

2y↑1

I got this back when I was 14-15 from a mix of forcefully being drugged along with trauma. I’m almost 25, it’s still 24/7 for me. Nothing helps anymore.

K F

1y↑2

I have experienced this for 12 years. I have been to neurologists, regular doctors and they have been no help. I have learned to live with it but it takes experiences from you. You don't feel as much as you should and that sucks. I would just like to feel myself again.

Mae

52w

About a month ago this randomly happened to me. I’ve been in a constant state of dissociation ever since. I don’t know what to do. Everything feels fake like I’m in a constant high.

thatonegayvampire

1y↑1

I've had episodes lasting days, people just don't get how terrifying it is. I'm only 13 and I've had so many episodes, at first I thought I was going crazy. Everyone just brushes it off as a joke.

scoon

47w

It is the most terrifying, humbling and euphoric experience i have ever had.

Sanaa

I wish you well for the future, thank you for sharing ❤

shiva shree

I also suffer from depersonalization. Thanks for sharing this.

WetonWet

1y↑1

For me i dont think i have it but when i get into a depressive episode or anxiety is triggered its mostly due to my inner ear and sinus stuff. The longer i am in an episode the worst i derealize because i am in my mind too much. I know this because i feel normal if i talk to people

Source Flow Angel

5y↑11

after 12 years its become the new me. i dont really remember what the old me felt like. the new me is not as social and is very sensitive and needs a lot of alone time but ive come to like it. i like how different i am. i dont feel like its a disorder. its a gift. albeit a difficult one to master and get used to. i wouldnt want to be anyone else. and i have used it to grow more deeply spiritually and to break free of all the old paradigms of reality that i once thought were true. i wouldnt have done that otherwise. having this gift has actually awakened me to REALITY. the old reality and identity i thought was real was in fact the illusion.

Limitlesszay

5y↑4

bluestardiamond84 youve been like this 12 years :/ its been 3 months for me i can’t do this anymore :/

jd4963

12 years for me too, since April 2007, caused by chronic OCD.

Source Flow Angel

4y↑2

@Limitlesszay you can and you will do it :) push through it, you are the light, not the muck

Lily Stultz

@Limitlesszay how are you doing now?

Lily Stultz

@Source Flow Angel how are you doing now? Any improvement?

ab2222

4y↑15

I am in this condition since 2005.
I am an observer of my life.

All people now talk about corona and how terrible it is. I can't take this anymore. I have no words for this pain...

nejj tak

3y↑2

I have had this for 3 mounths i am sick off IT

Lily Stultz

@nejj tak how are you doing now?

nejj tak

@Lily Stultz still have it

Lily Stultz

@nejj tak what caused it?

nejj tak

@Lily Stultz lsd

3 More Replies...

Jason Roberts

1y↑1

Ironically I started feeling the later symptoms first. My vision became strange, I felt like the lighting was never right. Then the emotional numbness and detached mind set in. And because I couldn’t understand what was happening. I started feeling scared and confused. Me understanding it was the first thing to really snap me out of it.

Salma Ahmed

Were you having eye aches even though you were well rested besides light being strange looking??

mehedi hasan

Same lighting felt weird to me

Jason Roberts

@Salma Ahmed no pain around the eyes. All I remember about it was feeling seriously disoriented, disconnected.

OleSnappy

2y↑1

You forgot to add the third person point of view as if you’re watching yourself in a video game or movie. A go-pro might be more accurate at capturing this feel. I remember the first time I got dissociated. It lasted for 6 months and happened to me after I was given some drugs at a party. It changed my life forever. Now sometimes I get a little dissociated under extreme emotional stress, but it goes away. It was horrifying and nobody understood what it was I was going through.

Hair

5y↑7

I have deralazation as well and it can be difficult but honestly it's not that bad. But it can be a hard time for all of us to go through

Alli

5y↑3

The everyday symptoms aren’t too bad, I’m used to those now. Sometimes it gets pretty bad and those can be terrifying though

Mr. Hoff

5y↑3

But when you have depersonalization and derealization it can get really bad, I can't even walk when I have an episode, or balance

Kaspian

5y↑3

No one ever grasps the dpdr side of ANYTHING!! And nothing ever works. She’s not alone, it sucks

Bella J

4y↑4

Im going on 8 years of living with constant depersonalization, havent popped out of it for even a minute... I wish there was more information on it.. like Im terrified to even have children, I feel like I have a terrible disease. It gets a little better but everyday I am always worried and paranoid that I am going to die any second.

Mathematics & Singing

4y↑2

8 years!!😯😯😥..its 3 years and 2 months for me...if you ever wanna talk to me..i am always available!

Alicia F

4y↑1

Ice had it for a good 6 years, and got me it seems to just get increasingly worse :( I used to have moments of clarity, but no matter how hard I try to snap out if the feeling, I can’t do it. Strangely I’ve also had the death fear (was really bad during lockdown). I’d say it feels like dementia- started reading a book with a first person narrative about dementia, and I could relate to pretty much all the symptoms. Had to stop reading because it made me too anxious. I’m waiting for something to change, for life to feel clear again but I don’t know if I’ll ever get that.

Bella J

@Alicia F yes... it does feel a lot like dementia. Lately I have been feeling like this is my new “normal” and I’m not going back to how I used to be. I try not to let it get me down. I’m just going to try and live my life to the fullest... there are always going to be good and bad days. Keep your head up 💙

Francisco Borja

What a beautiful and powerful video

Johnny Brix

I've had the worst ever DP ever like....the most horrific.
Feeling detached and just feeling as if my mind has shrunk or something.
It's just, unbearable at times.

Redux verse

1y↑6

Iv only had this experience 1 time last month and its absolutely terrifying thinking of if it'll happen again I'm so scared when doing things because I don't know if there are certain things that will set it off.

Jagroop Dhillon

4y↑4

I am going through this now. It really hurts like the feeling is unique for myself and indescribable as ti is for many others. Many would posit if you feel like you are not you why not think back on the memories and make it right? The thing is your memories feel counterfeited as well like you have not lived them and are disconnected from the memories as well. The biggest issue for me is the connection between feelings/words its almost as if words are hollow sure I understand them but not on a emotional level. I hang on always for my mom and my sister. At times the pain is unbearable and l feel as though I am already dead. Being 28 now this episode also hit me when I was around 20 as well. You'd think you could draw on the memories from the first recovery but this one feels even worse even the circumstances back then were much worse. One thing is that I am still there still reasoned and that is why this hurts all the worse because I feel as though I am going insane, yet which is worse going insane or being sane and feeling that you are losing yourself?

oh louda

4y↑2

hey i'm the girl in the video! i am so sorry that you are suffering right now. i can relate to the feeling of memories and people fading during episodes. like the relationships i have are non-existent and such. you are SO not alone and once the quarantine is over i believe dpd/dpdr sufferers will ultimately be relieved in some sense. not completely but everything helps. if it is affordable for you i highly suggest seeking treatment it has been a life saver for me personally.

Jagroop Dhillon

4y↑1

oh louda Thanks for responding. What you and other content creators do is gods work. The solidarity and understanding that this is not normal is helpful. Have sought out a therapist in my area and going next week. Best of luck to you and your family.

Jagroop Dhillon

Alright can I offer a story of success the wheel has been broken in my case. This is how. Depersonalization is always reality based and although your reality remains altered you have to find a trigger from your childhood when the disassociation happened. Meaning you have to find the previous version of yourself and be strong prior to the anxiety being triggered. In my case it happened when I was 8 and I can draw on that through EMDR. Surprisingly I have been feeling emotionally really stable and connecting closer than ever with my family. In order to get out of this you have to have panic attacks and find the root of those attacks.

Em G

Panic and anxiety can be caused by problems going on in the body such as the micro biome, viruses and bacteria buildup. Also inflammation in the brain can also cause a lot of issues get physically checked by a functional medicine doctor like mark hyman. He talks about the gut brain connections and how many mental health patients have completely cleared their symptoms

Caroline No

5y↑19

Beautiful speaker and beautiful person

Audun Jemtland

2y↑2

I got this 24/7 after strong antibiotic and heavy metal toxicity. And the main cause is Gut dysbiosis.
Trying to re-colonize the gut to fix it.

The psychological aspect is merely a stress response to the gut imbalance as the nutrient, proper nerve signals, mineral and hormone balance isn't met.
Digestive issues are a big part of this.

Fernando Parras Sánchez

43w

I read a book about it and it helped me a lot

Lo

3y↑4

I’ve been feeling disconnected from reality since I found out about awakening and spiritual enlightenment. In spirituality, what you mention is called non duality, no self. It’s wild how some people experience severe depersonalization and others think it’s enlightenment? I wonder what the correlation is.

Lo

3y↑1

@Ari Jesus was enlightened.

Niecey Weesey

I've had derealization for 20 years now. I still believe that I'm in a coma and that one day I will wake up.

etcher1981

I've had dp/dr for 25 years now. I have started to believe that this is Life after death.

Angie Garcia

4y↑13

Every since quarantine started I’ve felt iffy. I had an episode maybe 3 weeks ago and felt disconnected from myself for 2 weeks then had ONE week where everything felt somewhat normal. But then it came again this past week has been really hard i don’t know what’s real anymore. I feel more disconnected from the world than myself this time. It’s not the same feeling as the first time. I have no idea what’s going on.

Malak malak

Metoo same 🥺 but we need a solution

Astrid

How are you now Angie, one year later? I hope a bit better! My last episode was about year ago, I'm making progress :)

Reece Peacock

about 10 months ago, exact same thing happened to me. 2 weeks of this weird unexplainable feeling, then 1 week of normalcy, then boom, dpdr hits me like a train. antidepressants, vitamin D, magnesium, and jordan hardgrave videos have really helped. I now function as a D1 cheerleader for my university, however life is still really hard to manage with dpdr. I hope you're doing better at this time compared to a year ago.

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Ryan Weatherson

I’ve had this since I was in 6th grade still hasn’t gone away but it will temporarily go away it sucks that it always comes back and having a drug addiction doesn’t help I’m only 17 turning 18 in a few months feels like I can’t escape it controls my life and I use drugs to get rid of it but I’m trying to stop

Netoon Animation

Don't give up. Nothing is permanent in life. One day you will start feeling normal like me.

Based García

Thank you buddy

hhhhhh

Feeling fine that you're at the bottom of a waiting list for help until randomly one day your brain decides it thinks it doesn't matter if you jumped off a bridge on the way home and that this is the worst possible experience you can go through

too lazy for a good name

5y↑48

Idk if i have this but whenever i feel depressed when Im alone i feel as if anything doesn't matter and i feel as if i am in a dream and reality is fake and i have this fear as if my emotions are fake and i keep overthinking things

janice

5y↑4

too lazy for a good name that is exactly how i feel. glad i’m not alone. at first i thought i was going crazy

Limitlesszay

5y↑1

Same here

Hyde HJ17

4y↑1

derealisation and depersonalization are symptoms of depression or anxiety

Vicdog408

4y↑3

Y’all are not alone, you’re with me and many other people... just remember that whenever you’re having these thoughts.. it’s something that helps me get through/ rid of them

jkrjd

5y↑117

i feel that i am real but everything else feels really foggy if that makes any sense and at this point i can't tell the difference between my dreams and my real life but it's chill

Humbled truth

5y↑13

sophie ferguson that happened to me too it felt like I was on drugs all the time but it was scary for me and I felt like I was dying and no one understood what I was trying to explain and so I’ve given up on explaining it to people because no one truly will understand unless they have it

Payton Jeffery

5y↑7

I feel like this too bruh. Every time I wake up after dreaming I really have to think about what was exclusive to the dream and what is still real.

Bubba enthusiast

4y↑1

Its a real pain in the ass,i cant even do simple things at this point

DerekFromSchool

Ive been dealing with this for a year but you kind of get used to it

B

4y↑2

sophie ferguson
sophie ferguson it’s called derealization, sometimes mix and matched with depersonalization but it’s definitely different when you break it down and look at it

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Axolot_girlz

2y↑1

I’ve had dp and dr 24/7 for 13 yrs! along with ptsd, general anxiety disorder, depression, and bipolar

Zlobert98

5y↑7

A beautiful soul.

Il Capo

48w

I’ve had it for 10 years. I experienced the purgatory feeling before.

SUN GOD NASTY

reading the law of one COMPLETELY healed me of my DPDR. the info required me to into deep meditation and contemplation and many many awakenings happened after digesting the info and philosophy in that written. DPDR is centered around your belief systems in life so when you can find the right belief system that ALL humans can subscribe to mentally (THE LAW OF ONE!!!!!!!!) then you change the trajectory of your anxiety/DPDR completely

Not chill Kristin

5y↑3

I just heard my sorry word for word! ❤️

Isabel 🤓

I remember telling my friend a few week’s ago whare I feel unreal they don’t know what I meant so I left it alone today I figured out it’s a real thing and it feels good to know I’m not alone because I thought I was for as long as I can remember I though everyone felt the same but none could relate and sometimes I though and feel like what if I’m in a coma or I am the only thing that is real and that’s why I feel like I’m not if that makes sense ! THANK YOU!

Brian Rodriguez

4y↑2

Mindful meditation is the best thing anyone can do for DPDR. Along with tha is analyzing your psychi.

Layla Love

5y↑11

thank you, from the bottom of my heart. you are not alone

Waziha Nokshi

3y↑2

I really like me.... that's the thing- I want to forget my traumas but at the back of my mind I do want to remember these feelings so that I may able to make a change soo drastic that no person ever has to walk through the same tough path I've been through....
I'm 21 now, Still dreaming- studying MBBS and hopefully one day I'll be a psychiatrist and work on the traumas that I and others face.......

STXRBOY999

5y↑25

I suffer from Tinnitus, Visual Snow and both cause depersonalization and social anxiety.

Dex

5y↑1

I am the exact same. They thought it was epilepsy and now have no clue

STXRBOY999

Dex yeah same here, it sucks. try putting a piece of garlic in both of your ears for about 30 minutes a day - twice a week &’ your tinnitus will get better.

Eije Urwass

5y↑4

I have the exact same thing. Stay strong. This has ruined my life honesty

Bella J

4y↑2

same here, the tinnitus gave me a sleeping disorder... so terrifying

STXRBOY999

Bella J insomnia? &’ I wish you the best of luck w/ your tinnitus. try your best to ignore it and it’ll slowly get better. Use the tip that I gave someone. ^

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