Mulvey self-released his first demo tape, Rabbit Talk, in 1992; this was followed that same year by his first major album Brother Rabbit Speaks (which was re-issued in 2001). Since then he has released more than a dozen albums. His music has featured on NPR's shows "All Songs Considered" and "Weekend Edition", as well as the television show "Felicity".
www.petermulvey.com
Smoke
Peter Mulvey Lyrics
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I think you think I am
These days I am mourning the loss
Of a dream that I don't understand
Time is a lens
I see you now
Your hair blown by winds from afar
Sometimes don't you feel like the woman
You think I think you are
It's just smoke
But it's in flesh in blood we deal
And you can't go your whole life denying the things you feel
I held you up like an angel
Sewn you down on my life
I tell no one else you could compare
To the myth who should have been my wife
And now I'm trying to shake you
Alone beneath this roof
But you stay like a mark on my breast
Though I burn every shred of proof
It's just smoke
But it's in flesh in blood now we live
Maybe those sweet kisses were never really ours to give
I've been wrestling with the moon and her tides
The curve of her breast
Her hair falls like rain
The laugh the sigh the smile now
These things aching me like a lost memory gained and
I have seen what I have seen in this lifetime
Just dreaming you looked over my shoulder
I'm older now
Maybe we can let this shit
Let it smolder
I need smoke
Cause it's in flesh in blood now I stand
I won't be haunted any longer by the dreams I do not understand
In this song, Peter Mulvey expresses his struggle with loss and the impossibility of denying the emotions we feel in our lives. He starts the song by confessing that sometimes he feels like the kind of man he thinks his partner would want him to be. He then goes on to express his grief over the loss of a dream that he doesn't understand. Mulvey recognizes that time has shifted his perspective and he now sees his partner and himself differently. He wonders if his partner ever feels like the woman he thinks she is.
The chorus contains the central theme of the song. Mulvey compares his emotions to smoke- elusive and intangible. He acknowledges that even though they may seem intangible, they are present within us and we can't deny or escape them. He shifts the focus to the specific relationship he had with someone. Mulvey talks about holding someone up like an angel and comparing them to the woman he should have married. Now he is trying to move on, but like a mark on his breast, they continue to linger. He recognizes that the kisses they shared might not have been theirs to give.
The bridge of the song talks about Mulvey's search for meaning and the memories he's gained in his lifetime. He talks about the moon and its tides and how it affects him. He acknowledges the moments he's shared with his partner, like the curve of her breast and the fall of her hair like rain. These memories are aching him like a lost memory but he can’t escape them. However, he concludes by saying that he is now older and can let things smolder. He needs smoke because it is in-flesh and blood that he stands, and he won't be haunted any longer by the dreams he doesn't understand.
Line by Line Meaning
Sometimes I feel like the man
At times, I possess qualities you regard as admirable
I think you think I am
I believe you hold this perception of me
These days I am mourning the loss
Recently, I have been grieving the absence of
Of a dream that I don't understand
An aspiration that I cannot comprehend
Time is a lens
Time is comparable to an instrument that alters perception
I see you now
Presently, I perceive you in a different manner
Your hair blown by winds from afar
Your tresses are swayed by distant gusts of air
Sometimes don't you feel like the woman
Occasionally, do you not possess qualities of the feminine icon
You think I think you are
That are assumed to be bestowed by me
It's just smoke
It's mere illusion
But it's in flesh in blood we deal
However, we tend to be influenced by corporeal reality
And you can't go your whole life denying the things you feel
It's not feasible to disregard emotions for one's entire lifetime
I held you up like an angel
I considered you as an impeccable being
Sewn you down on my life
Intertwined your existence with mine
I tell no one else you could compare
I have specified to none other that nobody else could match your excellence
To the myth who should have been my wife
To the fabled person, who should have been my partner for life
And now I'm trying to shake you
Currently, I am attempting to detach myself from you
Alone beneath this roof
Solitarily present under the same ceiling
But you stay like a mark on my breast
However, your influence remains, like an imprint on my bosom
Though I burn every shred of proof
Even if I obliterate all evidence
It's just smoke
It's mere illusion
But it's in flesh in blood now we live
Yet, we exist in corporeal reality
Maybe those sweet kisses were never really ours to give
It's plausible that those moments of tender affection were never ours to experience
I've been wrestling with the moon and her tides
I've been grappling with the moon's gravitational pull and its impacts
The curve of her breast
The bulge present on the moon's surface
Her hair falls like rain
Crater-like formations on her surface depict some resemblance to rainfall
The laugh the sigh the smile now
Co-existing now are feelings of joy, relief, and happiness
These things aching me like a lost memory gained and
These elements cause a poignant pain similar to nostalgia
I have seen what I have seen in this lifetime
I've expended my time on Earth fruitfully and experienced many events
Just dreaming you looked over my shoulder
Just imagining that I am constantly monitored by you from behind
I'm older now
With time, I have aged
Maybe we can let this shit
Perhaps, we can abandon this situation
Let it smolder
Allow it to slowly die out
I need smoke
I require an escape from reality
Cause it's in flesh in blood now I stand
Since I subsist in reality, I cannot hide from it
I won't be haunted any longer by the dreams I do not understand
I refuse to be tormented by incomprehensible dreams any further
Lyrics © EMI Music Publishing, BMG RIGHTS MANAGEMENT US, LLC
Written by: Dave Gutter, Dave Noyes, Jason Ward, Jon Roods, Ryan Zoidis, Spencer Albee
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind