Pain
Phora Lyrics

Although I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
Even when I am in situations where I feel like death is close, I will not be afraid

I fear no man but God as I take my last breath
I only fear God, not any human being, and I will stand up for myself until my last breath

Used to beg them to stay and they'd just ask me to leave
People used to leave me all the time, and I would beg them to stay, but they would never listen to me

You don't know what strugglin means until they shatter your dreams
You can't understand the pain of struggling until someone crushes your dreams and hopes

Keep moving, no matter if them fuckers wanna doubt you nigga
No matter how many people doubt me, I will keep pushing forward and not let them bring me down

Never been fed with a silver spoon, what about you nigga?
I have never had an easy life, I had to work for everything I have. How about you?

From the craddle to my motherfuckin' grave bitch
My life has been a struggle from start to finish

Heard my momma cryin' homie, I ain't been the same since
When I heard my mother crying, it changed me as a person and I have never been the same since

Blue skies turnin' white, theirs blood on the pavement
The world can be beautiful, but it can also be cruel and violent, with blood and death in the streets

And all they ever ask me is "Phora how did you make it?"
People are always curious about my success, but they never ask about my struggles and how hard it was to get there

Not "where did you come from?" or "tell me your story"
People are not interested in knowing who I really am and where I come from; all they care about is my success

Theirs a difference between cats who want something from and for me
There is a difference between people who want to exploit me for their own gain, and those who genuinely care about me

But I ain't trippin, they tellin me to settle down
Even though people tell me to calm down and stop doing too much, I won't let anyone slow me down

Aha but i ain't settlin' for nothin'
I won't settle for anything less than what I truly deserve

And the people i hung around would just let me down
The people I used to hang out with would always disappoint me

Eventually I was the only one i trusted
After being let down too many times, I learned to only trust myself

Real talk, I try not to show emotion
I try to hide my emotions and pain from others, even though it can be difficult

Alot of shit inside me i won't put out in the open
There are many things that I keep inside and won't share with others

I hope i never snap, Lord knows that I'm destined for greatness
I pray that I won't break down and lose control because I know I have the potential to do great things

But those niggas keep testin my patience, I got
People keep testing my patience and tolerance, but I won't let them get to me

Pain in my heart, tryna not to let it show
I am hurting deep inside, but I try not to show it to others

They ask me if I'm ready, I never said no way
People keep asking if I am ready to face challenges, and I always say yes despite my pain and fears

But you really never know [x2]
Despite saying I am ready, no one truly knows what I am going through inside

I just close my eyes and imagine
When things get tough, I try to escape reality by imagining better things and happier moments

And just try to fly away
I try to fly away from my problems and pain, even if it's just in my mind

Aiming for tomorrow but we dying by the day
We all have hopes and dreams for the future, but we are all getting closer to death every day

Ill be the first one to say i cry I ain't ashamed
I am not afraid to admit that I cry and show my emotions; it's nothing to be ashamed of

They keep tellin me to smile but yo I'm tryna find a way
People tell me to be happy and smile, but it's hard when I am in so much pain and struggling to cope

Losing touch to myself tears droppin to the pavement
I am losing my sense of self and identity, and my tears fall to the ground

Honestly I don't know how much longer i can take it
I am reaching my breaking point and don't know how much more pain and hardship I can handle

And I know how it feels to lose all everyone that you love
I understand how painful it is to lose everyone you care about

And start question the one up above
It's natural to start questioning and doubting God when you are faced with so much loss and pain

Like why do all the good people gotta die
It's hard to understand why good people have to die when there is already so much suffering in the world

And why these young kids victim to a homicide
It's especially heartbreaking when innocent children become victims of violent crime

I don't know but I'm still searchin for the answers
I don't have all the answers to life's tough questions, but I am still searching for them

Haven't smoked since my grandfather died from cancer
I stopped smoking after I lost my grandpa to cancer, it was a wake-up call for me to take better care of my health

So don't take offense when I don't hit the blunt with you
I hope you don't get angry when I don't want to smoke with you, it's just a personal choice I made for my own health

Cause theirs a reason, it don't mean that I don't fuck wit you
There is a reason why I don't smoke, but it doesn't mean that I don't like you or respect you

All It means is that you don't know what I'm going through
Just because you don't understand why I don't smoke, doesn't mean you can judge me or know what I am going through

Don't ask to talk about it, its not something that I'm open to
Please don't ask me to talk about my personal struggles and pain, it's not something I am comfortable sharing with others

Behind every smile is a number of tears, told myself that i have nothing to fear
Even when I am smiling, there are still tears and pain inside of me. I try to tell myself that I have nothing to fear, but it's hard

But little did i know when you keep all that pain inside
I didn't realize that keeping all my pain and emotions inside would only make things worse in the long run

You'll be your own worst enemy til the day you die
By keeping my pain and emotions bottled up, I am only hurting myself and will continue to do so until I die