Obey the Beard
Psychostick Lyrics

Mustache, no
Only a full-grown beard will suffice

Sideburns, no
Only a full-grown beard will suffice

Goatee, maybe
A goatee may be acceptable, but only if it's part of a full beard

Beard, beard
A full beard is the only acceptable facial hair option

Do you feel alone?
Do you feel like you're missing something in your life?

Do you feel neglected?
Do you feel like no one pays attention to you?

Not doin' too well with the ladies?
Are you having trouble attracting romantic partners?

Well I got the solution for you
I have the solution to all your problems

Low self esteem, grow a beard
A beard can help improve your self-esteem

Afraid to follow your dreams, grow a beard
A beard can give you the confidence to pursue your dreams

Are you lonely and sad, grow a beard
A beard can help alleviate feelings of loneliness and sadness

Wanna look good in plaid, grow a beard
A beard will complement your plaid wardrobe

Are you workin' out, grow a beard
Your exercise routine will be greatly enhanced by the presence of a beard

Did your car break down, grow a beard
A beard will give you the strength and endurance to deal with car-related problems

Ice caps melting? Grow a beard
A beard can help counteract the effects of climate change

Are you stuck in the middle of nowhere and you need to make an important phone call
Are you in a desperate situation?

But the battery's dead and you can't find an outlet to plug in your charger
Are you without the necessary resources to solve your problem?

Grow a beard
The solution to all your problems is to grow a beard

Grow the beard
Allow your beard to thrive and reach its full potential

Feed the beard
Provide your beard with the necessary nutrients to grow strong

Brush the beard
Maintain your beard's cleanliness and health through regular brushing

Manscape the beard
Trim and shape your beard to keep it looking its best

Stroke the beard
Take pleasure in stroking the soft hairs of your beloved beard

Love the beard
Embrace your beard and all the benefits it brings

Fear the beard
Respect the power and authority of a full-grown beard

Obey the beard
Follow the guidance and instruction of your illustrious beard

Behold the beard (Obey the beard)
Gaze upon the magnificent glory of the beard and submit to its authority

Accept the beard (Obey the beard)
Acknowledging and welcoming the superiority of a full-grown beard is the first step to beard enlightenment

Respect the beard (Obey the beard)
Maintain a healthy respect for the power and influence wielded by a full-grown beard

Oh my God, Becky, look at his beard it's just so beard
The awesomeness of this man's beard cannot be overstated

Impress your date, with your beard
A beard will impress and attract romantic interests

Eat a steak, with a beard
A beard will enhance your dining experience, especially when eating meat

Chop down trees, with a beard
A beard will provide the strength and ability to accomplish Herculean tasks such as lumberjacking

Crush your enemies, with a beard
A beard will intimidate and strike fear into the hearts of your enemies

Catch a fish, with a beard
A beard will increase your chances of catching fish, possibly due to its natural scent

Roundhouse kick, with a beard
A beard will enhance your fighting prowess, especially in karate or other martial arts

Troll the net, with a beard
A beard will serve as a potent weapon in online arguments and flame wars

Chia pet? Ch-ch-ch-chia, beard
Even a Chia pet's growth cannot compare to the majesty of a full-grown beard

Drive a truck, with a beard
A beard will complement your truck-driving lifestyle

Try your luck, with a beard
A beard can bring you good fortune and success

Arm wrestle, with a beard
A beard will increase your strength and grip during an arm wrestling match

Teenage Mutant Ninja beard
A beard can be as nimble, powerful, and stealthy as a ninja

Pet your doggie, with a beard
A beard adds a new layer of sensory enjoyment to interactions with pets

I pledge allegiance to the beard
I swear my loyalty and devotion to the ideals and principles of the beard

Can't grow a beard, then buy a beard
If you are unable to grow a beard naturally, consider purchasing a high-quality fake beard

Do you have a beard, then grow more beard
Even if you already have a great beard, there is always room for improvement

You need to shave this thing
I believe you should remove all or part of your facial hair

Shut up grandma, grow a beard
Grandmothers often fail to acknowledge the power and importance of a full-grown beard

Defend the beard
Be prepared to use force or violence to protect the integrity of the beard

Drink to the beard
Raise a glass in honor of the beard and all its achievements

'Cause beards are good
The many benefits and advantages of a full-grown beard cannot be denied

And scruff
But even a small amount of facial hair can be superior to none at all

I was so empty and lost inside
I was lacking fulfillment and purpose in my life

'Til I grew you ('til I grew me)
Until I grew my beard, I did not understand my true potential

I put my faith in my facial hair
I believe that my beard has the power to guide and protect me

To get me through
To help me overcome obstacles and hardships in life

Well I can defy the odds again and again
Despite the odds against me, my beard has helped me persevere and succeed

With you on my chin (you on my chin)
With my beloved beard always by my side (or rather, on my face)

With every moment you grow closer and closer
The bond between a man and his beard deepens over time

To my heart
The love and loyalty of my beard is closely connected to my emotional core

I love you beard
My feelings of affection and admiration for my beard cannot be contained

If you love it so much, why don't you just marry it?
A humorous way to express extreme love or obsession with something

Huh
An expression of bewilderment or confusion

Abe Lincoln had a beard
One of the most famous American presidents, widely respected for his wisdom and accomplishments, also had a beard

Zz Top, epic beards
The iconic rock band Zz Top is known for their lengthy and impressive beards

Dimebag Darrell, metal beard
The late heavy metal guitarist Dimebag Darrell was famous for his long, flowing beard

Chuck Norris, kick ass beard
The legendary martial artist and actor Chuck Norris has a beard that reflects his toughness and masculinity

Number one, make it beard
To achieve success and reach the top of your field, cultivate an impressive beard

Chewbacca, is a beard
The beloved Star Wars character Chewbacca has long, flowing hair covering much of his face and body, resembling a beard

Santa Claus, Jesus Christ
Two revered and beloved figures, often depicted with long white beards

God has a beard
In many religious traditions, God is depicted as an old man with a long white beard

Obey the beard
This phrase serves as a mantra and guiding principle for those devoted to the power and glory of the full-grown beard