Ms. Portman has composed the scores for dozens of feature films, including "Emma", "Chocolat", "Oliver Twist", "The Cider House Rules", "The Duchess", and "Never Let Me Go".
She was the first female composer to win an Academy Award in the category of Best Musical or Comedy Score (for "Emma" in 1996). Ms. Portman was also nominated for Academy Awards for her scores for "The Cider House Rules" in 1999 and "Chocolat" in 2000.
She composed a score for the film "Dangerous Beauty," but it was unused; George Fenton replaced her, but some of her material still remains in the film. For television she composed the score for all thirteen episodes of Jim Henson's The Storyteller and two episodes of The Jim Henson Hour ("Monster Maker" and "Living with Dinosaurs"). Her other works include a children's opera, The Little Prince, which was later adapted for television, and Little House on the Prairie, a musical based upon the Laura Ingalls Wilder books "Little House on the Prairie" (2008). Ms. Portman was commissioned to write a piece of choral music for the BBC Proms series in August 2007.
On 19 May 2010, she was honored at the BMI Film & TV Awards with the Richard Kirk Award which is bestowed on composers who have made significant contributions to the realm of film and television music. Portman made BMI history as she became the first woman composer to receive the honor.
Portman was appointed Officer of the Order of the British Empire (OBE) in the 2010 New Year Honours.
Official website: http://www.rachelportman.co.uk
I Was Blackmailed
Rachel Portman Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
Yesterday when I was young
The taste of life was sweet
As rain upon my tongue
I teased at life as if it were a foolish game
The way the evening breeze
May tease the candle flame
The thousand dreams I dreamed
The splendid things I planned
I always built to last on weak and shifting sand
I lived by night and shunned the naked light of day
And only now I see how the time ran away
Yesterday when I was young
So many lovely songs were waiting to be sung
So many wild pleasures lay in store for me
And so much pain my eyes refused to see
I ran so fast that time and youth at last ran out
I never stopped to think what life was all about
And every conversation that I can now recall
Concerned itself with me and nothing else at all
The game of love I played with arrogance and pride
And every flame I lit too quickly, quickly died
The friends I made all somehow seemed to slip away
And only now I'm left alone to end the play, yeah
Oh, yesterday when I was young
So many, many songs were waiting to be sung
So many wild pleasures lay in store for me
And so much pain my eyes refused to see
There are so many songs in me that won't be sung
I feel the bitter taste of tears upon my tongue
The time has come for me to pay for yesterday
When I was young
The lyrics of Rachel Portman's song "I Was Blackmailed" delve into the themes of nostalgia, regret, and the realization of the destructive nature of love. The singer reflects on their past experiences and choices, particularly during their youth, and the consequences that have led them to where they are now.
In the first paragraph, the singer acknowledges that the love they knew in the past was always destructive. This suggests that their relationships were tumultuous and harmful, likely causing pain and suffering.
Moving on to the second paragraph, the singer reminisces about their younger days. They describe the taste of life as sweet and the excitement and joy they felt. However, they also admit to approaching life as if it were a foolish game, teasing it like a candle flame in the breeze. This implies that they were reckless and did not consider the long-term consequences of their actions.
The third paragraph deepens the reflection on the past. The singer mentions the dreams they had and the plans they made, but realizes that they were built on weak and shifting foundations. This metaphor suggests that their ambitions and desires were not grounded in stability, leading to disappointment and failure. They also mention living by night, avoiding the light of day, likely indicating a preference for escapism and avoiding reality. In hindsight, they see how time slipped away.
The fourth paragraph reveals the consequences of their actions and choices. The singer acknowledges that they ran so fast, chasing after pleasure and avoiding pain, that time and youth eventually caught up to them. They confess to selfishness and self-centeredness in their conversations, which centered around themselves instead of others. Love, too, was treated with arrogance and pride, resulting in fleeting flames that quickly died out. The friends they made also drifted away, leaving them alone to confront the consequences of their choices.
In the final lines, the singer sums up their reflection on their youth. They mention the missed opportunities, unfinished songs, and the bitter taste of tears. The time has finally come for them to face the consequences of their actions, paying the price for the choices they made when they were young. There is a clear sense of regret and the realization of wasted potential and lost chances.
Overall, the lyrics of "I Was Blackmailed" convey a poignant story of looking back on a youth filled with recklessness, selfishness, and the destructive nature of love. It serves as a reflection on missed opportunities and the consequences of one's choices, ultimately leading to a sense of regret and the need to face the inevitable outcome of past actions.
Line by Line Meaning
Somehow, it seems the love I knew was always the most destructive kind
In retrospect, I realize that the love I experienced in the past was always the type that caused the most harm.
Yesterday when I was young
In the past, during my youthful days.
The taste of life was sweet
Life was enjoyable and full of pleasure.
As rain upon my tongue
Similar to how rain brings refreshing sensation, life provided a delightful experience.
I teased at life as if it were a foolish game
I approached life in a playful manner, not taking it seriously.
The way the evening breeze may tease the candle flame
Like how a gentle breeze gently flickers a candle flame, life had its moments of whimsicality.
The thousand dreams I dreamed
The countless aspirations and ambitions I had.
The splendid things I planned
The magnificent and elaborate plans I crafted.
I always built to last on weak and shifting sand
I consistently relied on unstable and uncertain foundations for my endeavors.
I lived by night and shunned the naked light of day
I mainly inhabited the darkness of night and avoided facing reality during daylight hours.
And only now I see how the time ran away
Only now do I realize how quickly time passed without me fully comprehending it.
So many lovely songs were waiting to be sung
There were numerous beautiful experiences and opportunities that I missed out on.
So many wild pleasures lay in store for me
There were countless exhilarating and adventurous delights that awaited me.
And so much pain my eyes refused to see
I intentionally turned a blind eye to the considerable amount of suffering around me.
I ran so fast that time and youth at last ran out
I hurried through life to the point where both time and my youthful vigor eventually exhausted.
I never stopped to think what life was all about
I failed to pause and contemplate the true essence and purpose of life.
And every conversation that I can now recall
As I look back, I remember that every conversation I engaged in solely revolved around myself.
Concerned itself with me and nothing else at all
The focus of those conversations was solely on my own interests and matters, disregarding anything else.
The game of love I played with arrogance and pride
I approached love with conceit and self-importance, turning it into a game.
And every flame I lit too quickly, quickly died
Each spark of passion I ignited swiftly extinguished, never lasting.
The friends I made all somehow seemed to slip away
The friendships I formed somehow always ended up distancing and fading away.
And only now I'm left alone to end the play, yeah
Now, I find myself alone, bringing the theatrical performance of life to its conclusion.
There are so many songs in me that won't be sung
I have countless untold stories and unfulfilled dreams within me.
I feel the bitter taste of tears upon my tongue
I experience the bitterness accompanying tears, as it lingers in my mouth.
The time has come for me to pay for yesterday
Now, the consequences of my past actions and choices have caught up with me, and I must face them.
When I was young
During the time of my youth.
Lyrics © EDITIONS MUSICALES DJANIK
Written by: Charles Aznavour, Herbert Kretzmer
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind