In its earlier days, the band had duel vocals performed by De Marrais and Fischer; later, De Marrais would become the lead vocalist in the majority of their songs. The band's many tours and intimate live shows at venues such as Brooklyn's Northsix (now Music Hall of Williamsburg), Washington, D.C.'s The Black Cat, Bowery Ballroom in NYC, and Chapel Hill's Cat's Cradle helped to grow its fan base and fuel album sales.
On November 6, 2006, the band announced, through Pitchfork Media, that the December 16th show at New York City's Bowery Ballroom would be their last. They played one more show on December 17th at Northsix, which De Marrais referred to as "home" because it also served as the band's rehearsal space.
The band reformed in 2014 with a reunion show at Bowery Ballroom on December 31. Additional shows were added for February 14 and April 18, 2015 at Lincoln Hall in Chicago and Union Transfer in Philadelphia, respectively.
In 2017 the band released S/T, their first album in 11 years.
The Awful Truth of Loving
Rainer Maria Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
started out bad
still wanted a taste
of what I already had
the fruit is golden
when it falls from the tree
and it's spoiled by the time it gets to me
it's a dilemma
of girls and boys for centuries
should I be with you?
should I forget about me?
first it feels right
then you stay up all night worrying
it's the awful truth of loving
could've been noble
but it started out fast
they say that kind of thing
will never last
the peach is perfect
when it falls from the tree
and bruised by the time it gets to me
it's a dilemma
of boys and girls for centuries
do I really know you?
do you really need me?
first it feels right
then you write a novel worrying
about the awful truth of loving
and by the time
you bide your time
a year goes by
and you don't act any older
I wanted to be sweet
so you won't disappoint me
I wanted to be sweet
so you won't disappoint me
and when the stakes are high
I'm careless with the dice
and now it seems like
I'm pushing my luck all the time
and all that we were thinking
is about individuality
The song, The Awful Truth of Loving by Rainer Maria reflects a common dilemma that people have faced for centuries, namely the conflict between personal desires and the urge to be with someone else. The opening lines, “started out good, started out bad, still wanted a taste of what I already had” set the tone for the song, as it describes the uncertainty and confusion that often accompanies romantic relationships. The lyrics use fruit as a metaphor for the experience of love, presenting the idea that the initial attraction is perfect and alluring (“the fruit is golden when it falls from the tree”), but as one gets closer to it, the reality is different and disappointing (“and it’s spoiled by the time it gets to me”).
The dilemma continues as the lyrics ask whether one should be with another person or focus on oneself (“should I be with you, should I forget about me?”). The song highlights the struggle that comes with loving someone, including moments of doubt and worry (“first it feels right, then you stay up all night worrying, it’s the awful truth of loving”). The lyrics go on to suggest that relationships that start off with strong feelings may not necessarily last long (“could’ve been noble, but it started out fast, they say that kind of thing will never last”). The song ends with a stark realization that despite the desire for individuality, the intense feeling of love can make one careless with their choices (“and all that we were thinking is about individuality”).
Line by Line Meaning
started out good
At the beginning, our relationship seemed positive and full of potential.
started out bad
But as time passed, things started going wrong and we encountered problems.
still wanted a taste
Despite any difficulties, I found myself still wanting to experience the good moments we had together.
of what I already had
I longed for the good times we once shared and didn't want to let them go.
the fruit is golden
Love can seem perfect and desirable, like a golden piece of fruit.
when it falls from the tree
But often, by the time we have that love, it has already been damaged or spoiled, like fruit that has fallen from a tree.
and it's spoiled by the time it gets to me
By the time I was able to experience that love, it had already been tarnished by the challenges and problems we faced.
it's a dilemma
This is a common problem faced by both genders, a timeless dilemma that has been around for centuries.
should I be with you?
Should I continue to pursue this relationship, despite its difficulties and shortcomings?
should I forget about me?
Do I need to sacrifice my own happiness and well-being to make this relationship work?
first it feels right
At first, being with this person felt like the right choice.
then you stay up all night worrying
But as time goes on, doubts and worries begin to creep in, keeping you up at night.
it's the awful truth of loving
This is the harsh reality of being in a relationship - it can be painful, difficult, and full of uncertainty.
could've been noble
Perhaps we had higher aspirations for this relationship - to build something strong and meaningful.
but it started out fast
But because we rushed into things, we didn't take the time to build a solid foundation for our love.
they say that kind of thing
Others warn us that rushing into a relationship never works out in the end.
will never last
Impulsive relationships often fade quickly and don't have staying power.
the peach is perfect
Just like the golden fruit earlier, love can seem perfect and desirable, like a perfect peach.
and bruised by the time it gets to me
But often, by the time we have that love, it has already been damaged or bruised by life's challenges and difficulties.
do I really know you?
As we continue in this relationship, we begin to question whether we truly know the other person.
do you really need me?
We also begin to wonder whether this person truly needs us, or whether we are just clinging to the idea of love.
then you write a novel worrying
Our doubts and fears about the relationship can consume us, making us anxious and stressed to the point of writing novels about it.
and by the time
As we struggle to sort out our feelings and make sense of what we want from this relationship...
you bide your time
We often wait and delay making any decisions, hoping that things will get better with time and effort.
a year goes by
But as more time passes, it becomes clearer that the relationship is not improving, and that our doubts and worries are not unwarranted.
and you don't act any older
Despite the passage of time, we still feel as immature and uncertain as we did at the beginning of the relationship.
I wanted to be sweet
In trying to hold onto the good times and make the relationship work, I tried to be kind and compassionate to my partner.
so you won't disappoint me
But in truth, my kindness was fueled by my fear of being disappointed or hurt by the relationship ending.
and when the stakes are high
When the pressure is on and the relationship is at a critical point...
I'm careless with the dice
We often become reckless and careless with our choices and decisions, even when we know that the outcome could be disastrous.
and now it seems like
After everything we've been through, it appears as though fate is conspiring against us, and that we are pushing our luck.
I'm pushing my luck all the time
Despite our best efforts, there seems to be no way to make this relationship work and we feel as though we are gambling with our happiness.
and all that we were thinking
In the end, the relationship becomes less about the love shared by two individuals, and more about our individual desires and needs.
is about individuality
We realize that our love was built on the idea of being together, rather than on the substance of our connection.
Lyrics © ROUGH TRADE PUBLISHING
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