1) Ren Gill, a singer, song… Read Full Bio ↴There are multiple artists by this name:
1) Ren Gill, a singer, songwriter, producer, rapper, multi-instrumentalist based in Brighton. Started his career busking. Signed with Sony Records in 2010, but got dropped due to a mysterious illness he developed the same year, eventually diagnosed as Lyme disease. Self-released his debut album Freckled Angels in 2016 with the intention of raising awareness of his illness. Also a member of The Big Push from 2019 to 2022. He has attracted some degree of notoriety for his self-released videos, which are often solo performances filmed in one take; his track "Hi Ren", about his struggles with mental and physical illness, received 5.85 million views on YouTube within two months of its release.
2) Tokyo-born male singer-songwriter ReN (born 28 Feb 1994) whose debut album "Lights" got released in June 2016
3) A 17-year-old (as of February 2020) female Canadian singer-songwriter making her career debut in February 2019 with her single, "Waves"
4) REN is a Japanese Rapper/Singer
5) Arranger, composer, producer, and freelancer, who is also involved in the Touhou doujin music scene, as a member of Higan Daybreak.
6) A South Korean sub-vocalist and maknae in the K-pop group NU'EST, soon to be a soloist
Depression
Ren Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
Like pigs to the slaughter
A symphony of self doubt sings out
Breath starts getting shorter
Running water
Is the state that I wish to become
Instead concrete envelopes my movement
And I am rendered deaf and dumb
Don't tell me things will get better
'Cause so far things haven't gotten better
I've got the sweater
Poster child Bipolar ADHD, Therapists wet dream
I don't wanna talk about my father
I don't wanna talk about my dead friend
I don't wanna talk about myself
I'm sick of talking about my self
I'm sick of talking about my self
And realizing that talking about myself never, ever helps
Still...I call for help
'Cause I really want help
But the pills didn't seem to help
And the therapists didn't seem to help
But still... I want help
I've danced with the devil in hell
I've sat in a prison-less cell
And here I always dwell
In this prison in myself
I do this thing where my mind travels back to the golden age
You know those times where you were carefree
And everything was Golden? The golden age
You know those times where everything was golden?
Where you were carefree and everything was golden The hardest thing I ever had to do
Was come to terms with the fact that...
That time never really existed
I've always felt so fucking detached
And broken, bruised and mismatched
Find it hard to relax
Living under the cracks
Try to fill in the gaps
Lying here on my back
Still, I can't find it
Sense of peace, yeah?
My mind declined it
Pulse increased and my sweat combines with
A feeling so deep I fall inside it
Depression
I hate you, Depression
Your constant oppression
Respond with aggression
They say depression brings you lessons
Constant stressing conceals blessings
You will grow in broken settings
Fuck those lessons, fuck Depression
I've been living in your shadow for so long
That I forgot how I can shine
How I can find a refuge in my mind
How am I meant to sit here and unwind?
The planets align
I feel like I'm cursed
Feel like I'm cursed to just be here to hurt
I feel like I'm cursed just to be here to bleed with my demons
Been feeling this way since birth
Depression
I hate you, Depression
I hate you, Depression
I hate you, Depression
I hate you, Depression
I hate you, Depression
I hate you, Depression
In Ren's song "Depression," the lyrics delve into the artist's struggle with their mental health, specifically depression. The song begins with vivid imagery of feeling trapped and suffocated, comparing their thoughts to a time bomb and themselves to pigs being led to slaughter. There is a sense of self-doubt and the feeling of being overwhelmed, as the breath gets shorter and the mind becomes clouded. Ren expresses longing for a state of calm and peace, symbolized by running water, but instead feels trapped by the concrete surroundings. They feel disconnected from others and unable to accept the reassurances of things getting better because their experience has not improved. Ren further reveals their inner battles with mental health, describing themselves as a poster child for various conditions and mentioning the avoidance of discussing personal traumas and struggles. They express frustration with the ineffectiveness of pills and therapy, yet continue to seek help and support. The song concludes with a powerful declaration of hatred towards depression, acknowledging the constant oppression it brings and the desire to overcome its grip.
Line by Line Meaning
My thought patterns are composed by a time-bomb for an author
My mind is filled with destructive and explosive thoughts
Like pigs to the slaughter
I feel helpless and trapped, just like helpless animals going to their death
A symphony of self doubt sings out
I am overwhelmed by self-doubt and it consumes me
Breath starts getting shorter
I feel suffocated and overwhelmed by my emotions
Running water
I desire to be free-flowing and at peace
Is the state that I wish to become
I long to find inner tranquility
Instead concrete envelopes my movement
I feel trapped and unable to escape or make progress
And I am rendered deaf and dumb
I am unable to listen to others or express myself effectively
Unable to heed the advice of others
I struggle to take advice or guidance from others
Don't tell me things will get better
I am tired of empty reassurances that things will improve
'Cause so far things haven't gotten better
Because until now, things have not improved for me
I've got the sweater
I am the embodiment of mental health issues - Bipolar ADHD - a therapist's dream
Poster child Bipolar ADHD, Therapists wet dream
I fit the perfect stereotype of someone with mental health disorders
I don't wanna talk about my father
I avoid discussing the impact my father has had on me
I don't wanna talk about my dead friend
I avoid discussing the pain of losing a friend
I don't wanna talk about myself
I am tired of focusing on myself and my own problems
I'm sick of talking about my self
I am exhausted from constantly discussing my own issues
And realizing that talking about myself never, ever helps
I have come to the realization that discussing my problems does not bring any relief
Still...I call for help
Despite everything, I still reach out for assistance
'Cause I really want help
Deep down, I genuinely desire to be helped
But the pills didn't seem to help
Medication did not provide the relief I was seeking
And the therapists didn't seem to help
Therapy did not provide the desired improvement
But still... I want help
Despite previous disappointments, I still long for assistance
I've danced with the devil in hell
I have experienced intense and dark moments in my life
I've sat in a prison-less cell
Even in freedom, I feel trapped within my own mind
And here I always dwell
I constantly reside in this state of depression
In this prison in myself
My mind itself becomes a prison
I do this thing where my mind travels back to the golden age
I reminisce and escape into memories of happier times
You know those times where you were carefree
Those moments when I had no worries or burdens
And everything was Golden? The golden age
When everything in life seemed perfect and glorious
You know those times where everything was golden?
Those moments when life felt idyllic and full of joy
Where you were carefree and everything was golden. The hardest thing I ever had to do
The most difficult task I faced was accepting the fact that those perfect times were never real
Was come to terms with the fact that...
I had to confront the truth that...
That time never really existed
Those moments of perfection and happiness were only illusions
I've always felt so fucking detached
I have constantly felt disconnected from others and even from myself
And broken, bruised and mismatched
I feel damaged, hurt, and like an outsider
Find it hard to relax
I struggle to find inner peace and calmness
Living under the cracks
Existing in a state of vulnerability and instability
Try to fill in the gaps
I attempt to fix and mend the broken parts of myself
Lying here on my back
Feeling helpless and defeated
Still, I can't find it
Despite my efforts, I cannot find a sense of peace
Sense of peace, yeah?
Feeling tranquil and at ease, you know?
My mind declined it
My mind rejects the notion of peace and tranquility
Pulse increased and my sweat combines with
My heart races, and I feel anxious and overwhelmed
A feeling so deep I fall inside it
I am consumed by a profound and intense emotion
Depression
Referring to the state of depression
I hate you, Depression
Expressing a strong dislike and resentment towards depression
Your constant oppression
Depression's constant weight and burden on my life
Respond with aggression
Reacting to depression with anger and hostility
They say depression brings you lessons
Some claim that depression has valuable lessons to teach
Constant stressing conceals blessings
Endless worrying and anxiety hides the positive aspects of life
You will grow in broken settings
Amidst difficult circumstances, personal growth can occur
Fuck those lessons, fuck Depression
Rejecting the idea that depression has any worthwhile lessons and expressing anger towards it
I've been living in your shadow for so long
Depression has loomed over me and influenced my life for a prolonged period
That I forgot how I can shine
I have lost sight of my own ability to radiate and flourish
How I can find a refuge in my mind
Recognizing the potential for finding solace and peace within one's own thoughts
How am I meant to sit here and unwind?
Feeling uncertain about how to relax and find inner peace
The planets align
Everything falls into place perfectly
I feel like I'm cursed
I have a sense of being plagued or doomed
Feel like I'm cursed to just be here to hurt
Believing that my purpose in life is only to suffer and experience pain
I feel like I'm cursed just to be here to bleed with my demons
Sensing that I am destined to endure and struggle alongside my internal demons
Been feeling this way since birth
I have experienced these feelings of depression since I was born
I hate you, Depression
Expressing strong disdain and resentment towards depression
I hate you, Depression
Continuing to express intense dislike and resentment towards depression
I hate you, Depression
Repeatedly expressing strong aversion and loathing towards depression
I hate you, Depression
Continuing to emphasize the intense dislike and animosity towards depression
I hate you, Depression
Reiterating the strong and profound hatred towards depression
I hate you, Depression
Concluding with a final expression of deep aversion and loathing towards depression
Lyrics © Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd.
Written by: Ren Eryn Gill
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
@faridhurayrah900
Took me almost a week to take strength and write this comment.
I'm 25 yo now but diagnosed with anxiety and depression since I was 12.
No one to talk with, not even my parents because football soccer seemed to be more important than their kid crying every night.
In high school I spent my first 2 years not talking to someone, sitting alone and eating alone while lunch time.
I was rapped at the age of 8, then at 13 and last time on May 2018.
This song... Fck... Ren, thanks, thanks a lot for helping me on finding the words I was afraid to face to. Thanks for making this great war declaration to depression. I hate depression too.
I hated it when I was been used for a fcking pervert when I was 8.
I hated it while sitting alone in the school for 2 years and feeling everyone's eyes on me like "look the freak!".
I hated it when soccer was on TV and my parents were paying full attention to every player and not to me.
I hate it when I was alone at my room back this February and had to call the police for help because my mind was "that knife in your hand looks like will give us relief".
I've been scared since then. I'm scare to attack my body, to become a murderer and that my victim will be myself. I'm really scare, so fcking scared of the power this disorder causes on people. But now I feel that I am not alone, thanks for giving voice to the inside-me who was silenced long time ago.
@AXP66
My thought patterns are composed by a time-bomb for an author
Like pigs to the slaughter
A symphony of self doubt sings out
Breath starts getting shorter
Running water
Is the state that I wish to become
Instead concrete envelopes my movement
And I am rendered deaf and dumb
Unable to heed the advice of others
Don't tell me things will get better
'Cause so far things haven't got better
I've got the sweater
Poster child Bipolar ADHD, Therapists wet dream
I don't wanna talk about my father
I don't wanna talk about my dead friend
I don't wanna talk about myself
I'm sick of talking about my self
I'm sick of talking about my self
And realising that talking about myself never, ever helps
Still...I call for help
'Cause I really want help
But the pills didn't seem to help
And the therapists didn't seem to help
But still... I want help
I've danced with the devil in hell
I've sat in a prisonless cell
And here I always dwell
In this prison in myself
I do this thing where my mind travels back to the golden age
You know those times where you were carefree
And everything was Golden? The golden age
You know those times where everything was golden?
Where you were carefree and everything was golden
The hardest thing I ever had to do
Was come to terms with the fact that...
That time never really existed
I've always felt so fucking detached
And broken, bruised and mismatched
Find it hard to relax
Living under the cracks
Try to fill in the gaps
Lying here on my back
Still, I can't find it
Sense of peace, yeah?
My mind declined it
Pulse increased and my sweat combines with
A feeling so deep I fall inside it
Depression
I hate you, Depression
Your constant oppression
Respond with aggression
They say depression brings you lessons
Constant stressing conceals blessings
You will grow in broken settings
Fuck those lessons, fuck Depression
I've been living in your shadow for so long
That I forgot how I can shine
How I can find a refuge in my mind
How am I meant to sit here and unwind?
The planets align
I feel like I'm cursed
Feel like im cursed to just be here to hurt
I feel like im cursed just to be here to bleed with my demons
Been feeling this way since birth
@cpoppy5420
I rated this from the first listen - the composition is beautiful. I am always taken when each part is played just enough, each note feels essential and the silences are played with as much skill as the rest.
BUT the spoken words are incredible. It’s so realistic and raw. I can only admire the commitment to telling your truth on something so difficult to speak at all, about anything, let alone the demon itself.
You’ve made me feel less alone, I’ve grappled with the discomfort of my reality being put before me by this and can identity all of my guilt and shame and anger and resignation and submission to it.
To hate something means there is energy to change it, to fight.
Thank you
@Wolfsta
- What's your favourite genre of music?
- Ren.
@samuelsomething6059
all of it
Life
@mi6agentmikehunt617
Me exactly😭
@Wolfsta
@@mi6agentmikehunt617 🙏
@bambinono7612
Hes literally all I listen to anymore
@aidandix7296
So many artists sing about "depression" but most of it ends up pretty generic and cheesy, not this, this is art
@dolbearrr
thats fucking right
@Gonzalordi
I imagined you with a heavy irish accent m8
@RenMakesMusic
Thankyou, I'm touched that you got so much out of it!
@kavya914
ikr