A Man/Me/Then Jim
Rilo Kiley Lyrics


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I had one friend in high school,
Recently he hung himself with string.
His note said, 'If living is the problem,
Well, that's just baffling.'
And at the wake I waited around
To see my ex first love,
And I barely recognized her,
But I knew exactly what she was thinking of.

We sat quietly in the corner,
Whispering close about loss.
And I remembered why I loved her,
And I asked her why I drove her off.

She said, "The slow fade of love,
Its soft edge might cut you
And our poor friend Jim, well, he just lived within
The slow fade of love."

A woman calls my house once a week,
She's always selling things.
Some charity, a phone plan,
Or subscription to a magazine.
And as I turned her down (I always do),
There was something trembling in her voice.
I said, 'Hey, what troubles you?'

She said, "I'm surprised you noticed.
Well, my husband, he's leaving,
And I can't convince him to stay.
And he'll take our daughter with him,
She wants to go with him anyway.
I'm sorry I'm hard to live with,
Living is the problem for me.
I'm selling people things they don't want,
When I don't know what she needs.
He said, 'The slow fade of love,
And its mist might choke you.
It's my gradual descent into a life I never meant.
It's the slow fade of love."

I was driving south from Melrose.
I happened upon my old lover's old house.
I found myself staring at the closed up door
Like the day she threw me out.
"Diana, Diana. Diana, I would die for you.
I'm in love with you completely,
I'm afraid that's all I can do."

She said, "You can sleep upon my doorstep,
You can promise me indifference, Jim.
But my mind is made up,
And I'll never let you in again.
For the slow fade of love.
It might hit you from below.
It's your gradual descent into a life you never meant.
It's the slow fade of love."

It's the slow fade of love.
It's the slow fade of love.
It's the slow fade of love.
Baby, It's the slow fade of love.
It's the slow fade of love.
It's the slow fade of love.
It's the slow fade of love.




Slow fade of love.
It's the slow fade of love.

Overall Meaning

The lyrics of Rilo Kiley's "A Man/Me/Then Jim" explore various ways in which love and life can falter gradually. The first verse describes a friend who committed suicide, leaving behind a note that expressed confusion about the problem of living. At his wake, the singer runs into his ex-first love, with whom he shares a moment of connection over their mutual sense of loss. She tells him that their friend Jim "lived within the slow fade of love," which suggests that his gradual decline mirrored the fading of a relationship.


In the second verse, the singer speaks with a woman who calls his house trying to sell him things. She reveals that her husband is leaving her and taking their daughter with him, leaving her feeling adrift and purposeless. She tells him that "living is the problem for me," which echoes their friend's note about the problem of living. She too is caught in a slow fade of love, with her husband gradually pulling away from her.


In the final verse, the singer revisits his old lover's house and declares his love for her despite their past conflicts. She rebuffs him, saying that she will never let him in again because of the slow fade of love. The song ends with a repetition of the phrase "it's the slow fade of love," reinforcing the idea that love and life can slip away gradually over time.


Overall, the lyrics to "A Man/Me/Then Jim" offer a poignant meditation on the inevitability of change and loss, and the way that love can often dissolve slowly rather than in a sudden burst.


Line by Line Meaning

I had one friend in high school,
I had only one friend when I was in high school


Recently he hung himself with string.
He recently committed suicide by hanging himself with a string


His note said, 'If living is the problem,
His suicide note mentioned that living was the problem


Well, that's just baffling.'
It was inexplicable to him that living could be the problem


And at the wake I waited around
I stayed at the funeral to see


To see my ex first love,
To see the woman I used to love


And I barely recognized her,
She had changed so much that I almost didn't recognize her


But I knew exactly what she was thinking of.
I knew exactly what was on her mind


We sat quietly in the corner,
We sat in a corner, speaking softly to each other


Whispering close about loss.
We spoke about our feelings of grief and sadness


And I remembered why I loved her,
I remembered the reasons why I had fallen in love with her


And I asked her why I drove her off.
I asked her why I had caused her to leave me


She said, "The slow fade of love,
She said it was the slow fading of love


Its soft edge might cut you
The softness of the fading love can be as painful as a sharp edge


And our poor friend Jim, well, he just lived within
Our friend Jim was unable to escape


The slow fade of love."
The slow fading of love was the cause of his problems as well


A woman calls my house once a week,
A woman calls my house every week


She's always selling things.
She's always trying to sell me something


Some charity, a phone plan,
Whether it's for charity or phone plans


Or subscription to a magazine.
Or magazine subscriptions


And as I turned her down (I always do),
And as I refused (as I always do)


There was something trembling in her voice.
I could hear the tremble in her voice


I said, 'Hey, what troubles you?'
I asked her what was bothering her


She said, "I'm surprised you noticed.
She was surprised that I noticed


Well, my husband, he's leaving,
She explained that her husband was leaving her


And I can't convince him to stay.
She was unable to change his mind


And he'll take our daughter with him,
He was taking their daughter with him


She wants to go with him anyway.
Their daughter wanted to leave with her father


I'm sorry I'm hard to live with,
She apologized for being difficult to live with


Living is the problem for me.
She found living to be problematic for her


I'm selling people things they don't want,
She was selling things to people that they didn't really need


When I don't know what she needs.
She didn't know what people actually needed


He said, 'The slow fade of love,
Her husband believed it was the slow fading of love


And its mist might choke you.
The mist of the fading love can be suffocating


It's my gradual descent into a life I never meant.
He was gradually descending into a life he never wanted


It's the slow fade of love."
The slow fading of love was the root of their problems as well


I was driving south from Melrose.
I was driving down south from Melrose


I happened upon my old lover's old house.
I came across my old lover's previous house


I found myself staring at the closed up door
I found myself staring at the closed door


Like the day she threw me out.
It was like the day she had kicked me out


"Diana, Diana. Diana, I would die for you.
I called out her name repeatedly and professed my love for her


I'm in love with you completely,
I was completely in love with her


I'm afraid that's all I can do."
But that was all that I could do, express my love through words


She said, "You can sleep upon my doorstep,
She offered me a place to sleep


You can promise me indifference, Jim.
She asked me to pretend to be indifferent


But my mind is made up,
She had made up her mind


And I'll never let you in again.
She would never let me back in


For the slow fade of love.
Once again, the slow fading of love was the root of the problem


It might hit you from below.
The slow fading of love can hit you unexpectedly


It's your gradual descent into a life you never meant.
It's a gradual fall into a life that you didn't intend to have


It's the slow fade of love."
Once again, the slow fading of love was the culprit


It's the slow fade of love.
The slow fading of love is the recurring theme


Baby, It's the slow fade of love.
It's a slow fading of love, my dear


It's the slow fade of love.
The slow fading of love cannot be escaped


It's the slow fade of love.
The slow fading of love is the problem


Slow fade of love.
Love can fade slowly


It's the slow fade of love.
Love can fade slowly, and it's difficult to avoid




Lyrics © Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd.
Written by: Blake Sennett, Jenny Diane Lewis

Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
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