The Awful Truth About Hannah Montana
Robert Lund Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
I get arrested and dragged downtown
I'm waterboarded, and when it stops
I've got this message for the cops:
While you waste your time with me
An evil blonde is running free
Underneath her headset and sequins
Hannah, Hannah Montana
Carjacked my van in Tarzana
Hannah, Hannah Montana
Bitch-slapped my Nana
She may look cute, she may look nice
But she's invaded Belgium twice
She runs on battery - and assault
And global warming is all her fault
Hannah, Hannah Montana
Imports her hash from Havana
Hannah, Hannah Montana
Burned down AtlantaShe started typhoid and M.S.
And the global economic mess
Don't tell my achy breaky heart
That her music makes me shart
Hannah, Hannah Montana
Hates all Arquettes but Rosanna
Hannah, Hannah Montana
Smoked my banana
Every time an earthquake hits
Guess who is having giggle fits?
Hey, tweens: Our lawyers require us
To say Beware of the Miley Virus!
The Awful Truth About Hannah Montana is a satirical song by Robert Lund that takes a dig at the glamorous and controversial image of the Disney Channel star, Miley Cyrus, who portrayed the character of Hannah Montana in her hit television show of the same name. The song highlights the dichotomy between Hannah Montana's innocent and sweet public persona and the hidden mischievous, law-breaking behavior that supposedly exists behind the scenes.
In the first verse, the singer sarcastically describes how he gets punished and tortured while Hannah Montana goes scot-free and pursues her heinous activities. The next verse highlights some of the singer's allegedly criminal activities, including carjacking, bitch-slapping, invading Belgium, attacking people with batteries, and causing global warming. The chorus sarcastically refers to Hannah as a law-flouting, drug-importing, fire-starting, celebrity-hating, and drug-taking celebrity. In the final verse, the singer quips how even natural disasters are allegedly caused by Hannah's insidious laughter, and warns of the "Miley virus" that could infect young fans.
The song gained popularity on YouTube and other social media, primarily due to its catchy tune and the humorous way it poked fun at Miley Cyrus's public image.
Line by Line Meaning
I stand up, my pants fall down
I am clumsy and unfortunate, always falling prey to troublesome situations.
I get arrested and dragged downtown
I often find myself in trouble with the law and must face the consequences.
I'm waterboarded, and when it stops
I am subjected to extreme forms of interrogation and torture.
I've got this message for the cops:
Despite my ordeal, I have information the authorities will want to hear.
While you waste your time with me
The police should focus on more serious criminals and not bother with me.
An evil blonde is running free
There is a far greater threat at large, one that has not yet been caught.
Underneath her headset and sequins
Despite her wholesome image, there is something sinister about her true nature.
Lurks a true juvenile delinquent!
She has committed serious crimes and continues to do so.
Hannah, Hannah Montana
The one I am warning about is Hannah Montana.
Carjacked my van in Tarzana
She has a history of grand theft auto.
Bitch-slapped my Nana
She has no respect for the elderly and can be violent.
She may look cute, she may look nice
Despite her bad behavior, she maintains a good public image.
But she's invaded Belgium twice
She has committed international crimes.
She runs on battery - and assault
Her energy comes from hurting others.
And global warming is all her fault
She is responsible for environmental damage.
Hannah, Hannah Montana
The one I am warning about is Hannah Montana.
Imports her hash from Havana
She is involved in illegal drug activity.
Burned down Atlanta
She has been responsible for destruction in Atlanta.
She started typhoid and M.S.
She has caused many devastating diseases.
And the global economic mess
She has played a role in widespread economic failure.
Don't tell my achy breaky heart
Despite everything, I still have a soft spot for her music.
That her music makes me shart
Her music has both emotional and physical effects on me.
Hannah, Hannah Montana
The one I am warning about is Hannah Montana.
Hates all Arquettes but Rosanna
She has a grudge against the Arquette family, except for one member.
Smoked my banana
She has carried out bizarre and destructive acts.
Every time an earthquake hits
She takes pleasure in the misfortune of others.
Guess who is having giggle fits?
She enjoys natural disasters and other tragedies.
Hey, tweens: Our lawyers require us
We are obliged to make an official statement about her for legal reasons.
To say Beware of the Miley Virus!
We warn unsuspecting fans to be cautious of her corrupting influence.
Contributed by Ethan H. Suggest a correction in the comments below.
Bill Nye
on Paddle My Bum
Who listens to this shit? Seriously, a friend told me ri check it out and now he is not mt friend. If you have any dignity, DO NOT EVER LISTEN. Youth have been warned.