You & Me
Roger Robinson/The Bug Lyrics

I was just a kid but I learned much too fast
Despite being young, I was exposed to things beyond my years.

Found the internet way too young a scar that would last
My early internet access left a lasting impact on me.

And you know that I hate thinking someone else did this to me
I experience anger and resentment toward those who contributed to my struggles.

But I had all the resources because of your enabling
Your actions have created a situation where I have the tools to cope with my struggles, but at a cost.

And sometimes I wonder if I didn't hurt so bad
I contemplate whether or not my struggles impact how others perceive and interact with me.

Would I have been more lovable to my mom and my dad
I wonder if I would have received more love and attention from my parents if I were not struggling so much.

And if I went back in time to see six year old me
If I could travel back in time, I would talk to my younger self.

Id say this shit does not get better this is who you're meant to be and
I would tell my younger self that things will continue to be difficult, and that this is just a part of who I am.

I am a monster so you say
I have been made to feel like a monster by those around me.

I do this on purpose anyway
I know that my actions have consequences, but I still choose to act this way.

I need to feel this pain so I can
I believe that experiencing pain is necessary for my personal growth.

I try to crawl away when you say my name
I try to avoid conflict or negative interactions as much as possible.

Hold me down and scream at me
You have treated me with anger and aggression.

You say this is where I deserve to be
You have made me feel like my struggles are my fault, and that I deserve to suffer.

So keep pretending that you love me
I choose to believe that you care for me, even though your actions say otherwise.

I'll believe you although you never show it to me
Despite a lack of evidence, I still hold onto the belief that you care for me.

"Wow you're such a quiet kid" they all would say to me
Many people commented on my shy demeanor as a child.

Don't call me an old soul when I'm just unhappy
I do not appreciate being labeled as mature beyond my years when I am simply struggling.

You treated me like an adult when I was still so young
You expected me to act maturely and handle difficult situations, even though I was not yet ready.

You ask what you did wrong but you fucking knew it all along
You pretend to be unaware of your wrongdoings despite knowing what you have done to hurt me.

I know that I was difficult or I knew that's how you felt
I recognize that my struggles have made me challenging to deal with, or that you see me that way.

I was told that I was selfish when I needed fucking help
I was reprimanded for seeking help when I needed it, and made to feel like I was being selfish.

I remember when I lied to you I ran away and hid
I recall a time when I felt the need to hide from you after lying, likely due to fear of repercussions.

You didn't have to hurt me I was just a little kid
I feel like I was punished too harshly for being a child and making mistakes.

And now I'm still a little kid and
Even as an adult, I feel like I am still struggling with issues that stem from my childhood.

And I'll believe you I'll believe you
I choose to trust that you care for me, even though it may not be true.

I need to feel this pain so I can
I believe that experiencing pain is necessary for personal growth.

I try to crawl away when you say my name
I try to avoid negative interactions or conflict as much as possible.

Hold me down and scream at me
You have been abusive and aggressive toward me.

You say this is where I deserve to be
You have made me feel like my struggles are my fault, and that I am deserving of my pain.

So keep pretending that you love me
I choose to believe that you care for me, even though it may not be true.

And I'll believe you but you never show it to me
Despite a lack of evidence, I still hold onto the belief that you care for me.