The lyric is interesting in that it attests to the complex struggles that arise when personalities don’t blend well. Despite the experience and growing maturity, this tells a story of incompatibility, the lover’s controlling nature, and deceptiveness.
"This is about the same person “Unholy” is about. I wanted that breath, but I also only wanted one of these moments, because this isn’t the record for super organic, stripped music. In ‘Unholy’ I’m laughing and taking the piss. But at the heart of that emotion is a very sad story. It’s also about a relationship I was in, and about how I think being an emotional person is such a strong characteristic. I really do believe it’s a superpower. So it’s a love letter to me." - via Apple Music
How to Cry
Sam Smith Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
I can't tell when you're mad
You've never been vulnerable
I believed you could change
But you're still the same
And I'm still invisible
I keep secrets from my family
When it hurt, I didn't make a sound
All the drama that you put us through
How amazing that it's ever you
Who lit the fire, burnt the whole house down
'Cause nobody taught you how to cry
But somebody showed you how to lie
All of the feelings you don't show
Are all of the reasons to let go
I know I got nothing left
I know I got nothing left
I get that it's deep
You've never been free
You've never been satisfied
And you blame that on me
The pain you can't see
The anger you hold inside
I keep secrets from my friends at home
So embarrassed, I've been so alone
God, I'm over me protecting you
'Cause nobody taught you how to cry
But somebody showed you how to lie
All of the feelings you don't show
Are all of the reasons to let go
I know I got nothing left
I know I got nothing left
No
I know I got nothing left, mm-hmm
I know I got nothing left, mm-hmm
The lyrics of Sam Smith’s song How to Cry express the frustration and pain felt by someone in a toxic, one-sided relationship. The first verse outlines the singer's struggle to understand their partner's emotions, as their partner appears distant and emotionally closed off. Despite their belief in their partner's capacity to change for the better, they remain invisible to them.
The second verse reveals the extent to which this toxic relationship has affected the singer’s personal life. They have been keeping secrets from their family and friends about their partner's controlling behavior, hiding the pain they have endured. The bridge highlights the singer's realization that their partner's emotional detachment is rooted in their inability to express their feelings healthily. This, in turn, has led them to be dishonest with others and themselves, causing irreparable damage to their relationship.
Overall, the song is a heartbreaking account of the emotional toll that a one-sided relationship can have on someone. It shows how the lack of emotional expression and vulnerability from one partner can lead to the other's frustration and pain. It emphasizes the importance of communication and emotional intelligence in relationships to build a healthy, lasting connection.
Interesting facts about the song:
1) Sam Smith wrote the song with the help of a couple of Grammy-winning songwriters, including Labrinth and Steven Fitzmaurice.
2) The song was featured in Sam Smith's second album, Love Goes, released in 2020.
3) The album Love Goes is centered around Sam Smith's experiences with heartbreak and self-reflection.
4) This song is often described as one of the most emotional tracks on Smith's album Love Goes.
5) Smith stated in an interview that this song is based on personal experiences, although they did not reveal the exact relationship that inspired it.
6) The song features a musical arrangement that combines beautiful contemporary R&B genres with classic pop elements.
7) Smith talks about their admiration for Sufjan Stevens in the album, and "How to Cry" has some of his musical influences in it.
8) Reviews of "How to Cry" were generally positive, with many admiring the song's candor, rawness, and emotive delivery.
9) The song was performed by Sam Smith during the "Love Goes: Live at Abbey Road Studios" concert on YouTube in 2020.
10) "How to Cry" is often regarded as a fan-favorite from the album, and many say that they can relate to the lyrics' vulnerability and honesty.
Chords:
Am, F, C, G (Verse)
F, C, G, Am (Chorus)
Line by Line Meaning
I don't know when you're sad
I am unaware of your sadness
I can't tell when you're mad
I am oblivious to your anger
You've never been vulnerable
You have never let down your guard
I believed you could change
I had faith in your capacity for change
But you're still the same
You remain unchanged
And I'm still invisible
I am still unnoticed or ignored
I keep secrets from my family
I hide things from my relatives
All the ways you been controlling me
All the methods by which you have exerted influence over me
When it hurt, I didn't make a sound
I suffered in silence
All the drama that you put us through
All the stressful or difficult situations that you have caused for us
How amazing that it's ever you
It is extraordinary that it is always you
Who lit the fire, burnt the whole house down
You are responsible for causing the entire incident that led to our downfall
'Cause nobody taught you how to cry
You were never taught how to properly express your emotions by crying
But somebody showed you how to lie
Someone has taught you to lie
All of the feelings you don't show
All of the emotions you refuse to express
Are all of the reasons to let go
These emotions are the reasons to move on
I know I got nothing left
I know I have nothing left to give
I get that it's deep
I understand that it is profound
You've never been free
You have never been liberated
You've never been satisfied
You have never been content
And you blame that on me
You attribute that to me
The pain you can't see
The emotional discomfort you are unaware of
The anger you hold inside
The resentment you have been bottling up
I keep secrets from my friends at home
I conceal things from my acquaintances
So embarrassed, I've been so alone
I feel ashamed and isolated
God, I'm over me protecting you
God, I am finished with protecting you
No
No
I know I got nothing left, mm-hmm
I know I have nothing left to give, mm-hmm
I know I got nothing left, mm-hmm
I know I have nothing left to give, mm-hmm
Lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group, Warner Chappell Music, Inc.
Written by: Blake Slatkin, Henry Russell Walter, Ilya Salmanzadeh, James John Napier, Omer Fedi, Samuel Frederick Smith
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
@taehkookieot7692
IM 19 RN AND THIS IS HOW I FELT MY ENTIRE CHILDHOOD & TEENAGE , TIME TRULY HEALS. I PRAY STRENGTH TO WHOEVER IS GOING THROUGH THIS.
@thatoneredboxguy
listen to 12 stout street
@jst_jordan
you've got your whole life in front of you kid, keep your head up
@Deusa24cx
I wish time really helped me cause since 12 years I have Been in pain 🥲
@AdriVaz01
Wow! I didn't know I needed, "How To Cry," until I heard/read those beautiful words... "nobody taught you hot to cry, but somebody showed you how to lie..." just speechless. Your music is amazing.
@Nyatlo
I'm still blown by that line....Same here, speechless.
@WoT_George
Sam just makes you FEEL no matter the song or lyrics 🥺
@jessw.6250
EXACTLY 😢
@taylor-marie163
This one hit hard wasn’t ready to cry this morning 🥹
@Nyatlo
I know right. I'm still gasping cause wow.