Master Of The House
Sasha Baron Cohen & Helena Bonham Carter Lyrics
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My dirty jokes, my always pissed as newts
My sons of whores (no, no, no, no not tonight) spend their lives in my inn
Homing pigeons homing in
They fly through my doors
And they crawl out on all fours
Welcome, Monsieur, sit yourself down
As for the rest, all of 'em crooks:
Rooking their guests and cooking the books
Seldom do you see
Honest men like me
A gent of good intent
Who's content to be
Master of the house, doling out the charm
Ready with a handshake and an open palm
Tells a saucy tale, makes a little stir
Customers appreciate a bon-viveur
Glad to do a friend a favor
Doesn't cost me to be nice
But nothing gets you nothing
Everything has got a little price!
Master of the house, keeper of the zoo
Ready to relieve 'em of a sou or two
Watering the wine, making up the weight
Pickin' up their knick-knacks when they can't see straight
Everybody loves a landlord
Everybody's bosom friend
I do whatever pleases
Jesus! Won't I bleed 'em in the end!
Master of the house, quick to catch yer eye
Never was a passerby to pass him by
Servant to the poor, butler to the great
Comforter, philosopher, and lifelong mate!
Everybody's boon companion
Everybody's chaperone
But lock up your valises
Jesus! Won't I skin you to the bone!
Food beyond compare. Food beyond belief
Mix it in a mincer and pretend it's beef
Kidney of a horse, liver of a cat
Filling up the sausages with this and that
Residents are more than welcome
Bridal suite is occupied
Reasonable charges
Plus some little extras on the side!
(Oh Santa!)
Charge 'em for the lice, extra for the mice
Two percent for looking in the mirror twice (Hand it over!)
Here a little slice, there a little cut
Three percent for sleeping with the window shut
When it comes to fixing prices
There are a lot of tricks I knows
How it all increases, all them bits and pieces
Jesus! It's amazing how it grows!
(Oh, sorry love
Must get something done about that)
I used to dream that I would meet a prince
But God Almighty, have you seen what's happened since?
Master of the house? Isn't worth my spit!
Comforter, philosopher and lifelong shit!
Cunning little brain, regular Voltaire
Thinks he's quite a lover but there's not much there
What a cruel trick of nature landed me with such a louse
God knows how I've lasted living with this bastard in the house!
Master of the house!
Master and a half!
Comforter, philosopher
Don't make me laugh!
Servant to the poor, butler to the great
Hypocrite and toady and inebriate!
Everybody bless the landlord!
Everybody bless his spouse!
Everybody raise a glass
Raise it up the master's arse
Everybody raise a glass to the Master of the House!
The lyrics of Master of the House from the musical Les Miserables sung by Sasha Baron Cohen and Helena Bonham Carter speak of the titular character, Thénardier, who is the owner of an inn that is frequented by shady characters. The song depicts the inn as a place where people come to enjoy themselves, forget about their problems, and indulge in vices such as drinking, gambling, and prostitution. Thénardier is portrayed as a cunning and manipulative person who knows how to charm his guests and extract money from them. He is proud of being the master of the house and takes pleasure in his ability to exploit people for his own benefit.
The lyrics also show Thénardier's contempt for his guests, whom he refers to as "soaks," "dissolutes," and "sons of whores." He admits to being a crook who rooks his guests and cooks the books. However, he also sees himself as a generous and hospitable host who is always ready to offer a handshake and a saucy tale. He claims that he is an honest man of good intent, but his words are contradicted by his actions. He charges his guests for everything, including lice, mice, and even looking in the mirror twice.
Overall, the song Master of the House is a satirical and comic portrayal of a corrupt and manipulative character who exploits people for his own gain. It highlights the social and economic inequalities of the time and the desperation of people who have no other place to go.
Line by Line Meaning
My band of soaks, my den of dissolutes
My group of drunkards, my place for the morally corrupt
My dirty jokes, my always pissed as newts
My inappropriate humor, my patrons always drunk
My sons of whores (no, no, no, no not tonight) spend their lives in my inn
My establishment is full of prostitutes' children who work and live here
Homing pigeons homing in
People always come back to my inn
They fly through my doors
My inn is always open and welcomes all
And they crawl out on all fours
My patrons leave my inn thoroughly intoxicated
Welcome, Monsieur, sit yourself down
Hello there, Sir, please make yourself comfortable
And meet the best innkeeper in town
And meet me, the best owner of an establishment in town
As for the rest, all of 'em crooks:
As for the other establishments, they're all dishonest
Rooking their guests and cooking the books
Cheating their customers and falsifying their accounting
Seldom do you see
Rarely do you find
Honest men like me
Honorable people like myself
A gent of good intent
Someone with good intentions
Who's content to be
Who is happy with being
Master of the house, doling out the charm
I am the owner, giving out charisma
Ready with a handshake and an open palm
Always ready to shake hands and offer help
Tells a saucy tale, makes a little stir
Sharing a raunchy story, causing some commotion
Customers appreciate a bon-viveur
Customers like a jovial person
Glad to do a friend a favor
Happy to help out a friend
Doesn't cost me to be nice
It doesn't take anything out of me to be friendly
But nothing gets you nothing
But, of course, one should expect something in return
Everything has got a little price!
Everything comes with a fee!
Master of the house, keeper of the zoo
Owner of the inn, caring for a variety of patrons
Ready to relieve 'em of a sou or two
Ready to extract some money from them
Watering the wine, making up the weight
Diluting the drinks, shortchanging them
Pickin' up their knick-knacks when they can't see straight
Stealing their belongings when they're too drunk to notice
Everybody loves a landlord
Everybody likes an owner
Everybody's bosom friend
Everybody's close friend
I do whatever pleases
I do whatever makes me happy
Jesus! Won't I bleed 'em in the end!
Boy oh boy, am I going to scam them in the future!
Master of the house, quick to catch yer eye
Innkeeper, always looking for attention
Never was a passerby to pass him by
Nobody ignores me when they walk by
Servant to the poor, butler to the great
Helpful to the less fortunate, subservient to the well-off
Comforter, philosopher, and lifelong mate!
Offering comfort, wisdom, and friendship for life
Everybody's boon companion
Everyone's close friend
Everybody's chaperone
Everyone's escort
But lock up your valises
But be sure to lock up your suitcases
Jesus! Won't I skin you to the bone!
My goodness! Am I going to rob you blind!
Food beyond compare. Food beyond belief
Food that is immeasurable in quality and taste
Mix it in a mincer and pretend it's beef
Mix everything together and pretend it's beef
Kidney of a horse, liver of a cat
Using unusual animal organs in the sausages
Filling up the sausages with this and that
Stuffing the sausages with anything and everything
Residents are more than welcome
People can stay here as long as they wish
Bridal suite is occupied
The honeymoon suite is currently in use
Reasonable charges
Affordable prices
Plus some little extras on the side!
And a few additional charges on top!
(Oh Santa!)
(Oh my goodness!)
Charge 'em for the lice, extra for the mice
Charge for the lice, add more for the mice
Two percent for looking in the mirror twice (Hand it over!)
Two percent added for looking in the mirror twice (Give it to me!)
Here a little slice, there a little cut
Adding a little here, taking a little there
Three percent for sleeping with the window shut
Three percent extra for sleeping with the window closed
When it comes to fixing prices
When it comes to deciding how much to charge
There are a lot of tricks I knows
There are many ways I am aware of to scam people
How it all increases, all them bits and pieces
How everything adds up, all the small costs and fees
Jesus! It's amazing how it grows!
My goodness! It's incredible how much I make!
(Oh, sorry love
Must get something done about that)
(Oh, my apologies sweetheart, I must do something about that)
I used to dream that I would meet a prince
I used to dream of marrying a prince
But God Almighty, have you seen what's happened since?
But goodness gracious, look at what I'm stuck with now!
Master of the house? Isn't worth my spit!
Owner of the inn? Not even worth my saliva!
Comforter, philosopher and lifelong shit!
Comforter, philosopher, and lifelong terrible person!
Cunning little brain, regular Voltaire
Scheming mind, a regular philosopher Voltaire
Thinks he's quite a lover but there's not much there
Thinks he's a great lover but really isn't
What a cruel trick of nature landed me with such a louse
What a cruel twist of fate for me to end up with such a despicable person
God knows how I've lasted living with this bastard in the house!
Only God knows how I've managed to live with this asshole for so long!
Master of the house!
Owner of the inn!
Master and a half!
Owner and then some!
Comforter, philosopher
Comforter and philosopher
Don't make me laugh!
Don't make me laugh at that!
Servant to the poor, butler to the great
Helping the poor, serving the wealthy
Hypocrite and toady and inebriate!
Two-faced, a flatterer, and always drunk!
Everybody bless the landlord!
Everyone wish the innkeeper well!
Everybody bless his spouse!
Everyone wish the owner's spouse well!
Everybody raise a glass
Everyone, let's toast to
Raise it up the master's arse
Stick it up the owner's butt
Everybody raise a glass to the Master of the House!
Everyone, let's toast to the owner of the inn!
Lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Warner Chappell Music, Inc.
Written by: Alain Albert Boublil, Claude Michel Schonberg, Herbert Kretzmer, Jean Marc Natel
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
@darthparallax5207
Having met my ex fiancée, how could she not?
I don't necessarily know why it is like this but I see a pattern: from the deepest darkest shitholes seems to be found the purest gold.
Drinking isn't a crime at all and respecting her father doesn't sound like a very big crime either.
Maybe he doesn't deserve her love and loyalty. Oh of course he doesn't.
But ....well....she's still good for being good to him, y'know? Somewhere between Luke Skywalker and Aladdin.
@nicigiusto6124
Apparently he was sick while filming but Tom convinced him to do this take just as “practice” and then they ended up using it as the final cut😂😂 poor Sacha
@ezelfrancisco1349
Christ, that’s horrifying.
@christophervickers6484
@Ezel Francisco Adds to the realism, haha. Think the landlord is taking a break because he's got coughies and a cold? :P
@tracerfire4046
Which part? This whole sequence isn’t one take
@MarkFilipAnthony
that doesn't make any sense when thinking about how filmmaking works
@that_one_guy_you_walk_past
@@tracerfire4046 They filmed the first half, Sacha lost his voice and went on vocal rest then came back and did the rest. I think the comment above got confused
@ShatnerLover
I love Sacha and Helena so much. They’re so great at being despicable
@Milordvega
This makes "On My Own" an even sadder song for me, as you can see how Eponine as a child seemed to be genuinely happy with her parents, even with that environment.
Speaking of which, the Thenardiers are the kind of people that Javert should have been going after, not Jean Valjean.
@victoriaR587
Corruption. That's why.
@reginasaddoris9617
They were "business" owners. Respect before there were business reviews.