At the age of 21, she joined Arthur Klugman's traveling show, Coloured Jazz and Variety, on a tour of South Africa. When the production failed, she found herself stranded on the road where she was fortunate enough to meet legendary South African saxophonist Kippie Moeketsi. In 1959, she returned to Capetown where she took her place on the city’s by-then flourishing jazz scene. There she would meet pianist Dollar Brand (aka Abdullah Ibrahim), whom she would later marry. They began working together and in that same year she recorded what would have been the first jazz LP in South Africa's history. Titled My Songs for You, with accompaniment by Ibrahim’s trio, the recording of mostly standards was sadly never released.
In the aftermath of South Africa’s Sharpeville Massacre of 1960, Benjamin and Ibrahim decided to join the growing South African exile community in Europe. The couple, along with bassist Johnny Gertze and drummer Makhaya Ntshoko, settled in Zurich, Switzerland and worked throughout Germany and Scandinavia, meeting some of the greatest American jazz players, including Don Byas, Dexter Gordon, Kenny Drew, Ben Webster, Bud Powell, John Coltrane, and Thelonious Monk. The artist who would have the greatest impact on Benjamin’s life, however, was the inimitable Duke Ellington.
Benjamin met Duke while he was in Zurich in 1963. Standing in the wings during most of his band’s performance, once the concert ended she insisted that Duke hear her husband’s trio at the Club Africana, a local jazz spot where the couple worked fairly regularly. Duke obliged, but insisted that Benjamin sing for him. He adored her voice and promptly arranged for the couple to fly to Paris and record separate albums for Frank Sinatra’s Reprise label. Ibrahim’s record, Duke Ellington Presents The Dollar Brand Trio, was released the following year and subsequently helped him build a following in Europe and the United States. Unfortunately, Benjamin’s recording, despite its excellence and guest appearances by both Ellington and Billy Strayhorn, inexplicably remained unreleased. (The lost date was finally put out in 1996 by Enja Records, under the title A Morning in Paris.)
Benjamin maintained a friendly relationship with Ellington, who remained an enthusiastic supporter of her singing. In 1965, Duke arranged to have her perform with his band in the U.S. at the Newport Jazz Festival. At one point, he asked her to join his band permanently, but she declined because it would have taken her away from Ibrahim, whom she had married in February of 1965. Throughout the 1960’s Benjamin and Ibrahim moved back and forth between Europe and New York City, where they struggled to make it in the jazz world. For Benjamin, who had yet to release a recording of her own, gigs were few and far between. She spent much of the period as a staunch supporter of her husband and raising their son, Tsakwe.
The year 1976 marked a turning point for Benjamin. She and Ibrahim returned to South Africa to live; she gave birth to her daughter, Tsidi; and went into the studio and recorded African Songbird, the first album under her own name to be released. The LP, made up entirely of original compositions, not only unveiled her considerable talent as a composer, but revealed her interest in South Africa’s freedom struggle. In 1979, she launched her own record label, Ekapa, to produce and distribute her and Ibrahim’s music. Between 1979 and 2002, she released eight of her own albums: Sathima Sings Ellington, Dedications, Memories and Dreams, Windsong, Lovelight, Southern Touch, Cape Town Love, and Musical Echoes.
Each of these recordings received critical acclaim hailing Benjamin’s individuality and vocal talents. Dedications was nominated for a Grammy in 1982. A mix of original compositions and standards, the records reveal the full range of her talents as a singer, songwriter and bandleader. Indeed, she had brought together some of the most talented musicians in America to accompany her, including saxophonist Carlos Ward, pianists Kenny Barron, Larry Willis and Onaje Allan Gumbs, bassist Buster Williams and drummers Billy Higgins and Ben Riley.
Bringing together her two worlds - Cape Town and New York City - has been an essential element of Benjamin’s music. She’s recorded in both places. For the most part, she has used American musicians for her U.S. recordings and South African musicians when in her native land. However, for her most recent CD, Musical Echoes, she decided to bring the American pianist and collaborator, Stephen Scott, to Cape Town to record with two South Africans, bassist Basil Moses and drummer Lulu Gontsana. The result is a true synthesis of both worlds, incorporating American jazz styles with trademark Cape Town rhythms.
Recently, Sathima has begun to receive the kinds of accolades befitting an artist of her stature. In October of 2004, South African president Thabo Mbeki bestowed upon her the Order of Ikhamanga Silver Award in recognition for her “excellent contribution as a jazz artist” in South Africa and internationally, as well as for her contribution “to the struggle against apartheid.” And in March of 2005, the prestigious art group, Pen and Brush, Inc., presented her with a Certificate of Achievement for her work as a performer, musician, composer, and “activist in the struggle for human rights in South Africa.” Sathima is featured in the March 2006 issue of Jazztimes.
Sathima’s next album, SongSpirit, is due to be released on October 17th. A compilation record, it includes tracks from her earlier albums, starting with A Morning In Paris and going through Musical Echoes, plus a previously unreleased duet with Abdullah Ibrahim from 1973.
I Wish I Knew
Sathima Bea Benjamin Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
I wish I knew you place no one above me
Did I mistake this for a real romance?
I wish I knew, but only you can answer.
If you don't care, why let me hop[e and pray so
Don't lead me on, if I'm a fool just say so,
Should I keep dreaming on, or just forget you?
The lyrics of Sathima Bea Benjamin's song "I Wish I Knew" express the feelings of uncertainty and confusion in a relationship. The singer wishes to understand the true feelings of the other person towards them. The opening two lines of the verse express longing and vulnerability, wishing for the love of the person who may or may not have real feelings for them. The following lines express the singer's confusion about the reality of their relationship, whether it is genuine or fake. By questioning the sincerity of the romance, the singer invokes a sense of doubt and vulnerability in the listener. The final line of the verse, "I wish I knew, but only you can answer," expresses the futility of the singer's own attempts to discern the true nature of their relationship, underlining the importance of the other person's perspective.
The second verse of the song continues the theme of uncertainty and questioning. The singer implores the other person not to lead them on if they do not feel the same way. The line, "Should I keep dreaming on, or just forget you?" highlights the confusion and desperation of the singer. The last line of the verse, "What shall I do, I wish I knew," emphasizes the fact that the singer is not in control of their own emotions because their love interest holds all of the answers.
Overall, "I Wish I Knew" by Sathima Bea Benjamin is a poignant and emotional song about the uncertainty and vulnerability of romantic relationships. The lyrics highlight the importance of clear communication and the difficulty of determining the true feelings of another person.
Line by Line Meaning
I wish I knew someone like you could love me
I have doubts about you loving me and wish I knew for certain that someone like you could really love someone like me.
I wish I knew you place no one above me
I hope you truly love me and place no one else above me.
Did I mistake this for a real romance?
I'm unsure if what we have is a real romantic relationship or just a fleeting attraction.
I wish I knew, but only you can answer.
I need you to be honest and tell me what this is so I can have the answer I am looking for.
If you don't care, why let me hope and pray so
If you don't have feelings for me, why do you let me hold onto hope and pray that we're meant to be?
Don't lead me on, if I'm a fool just say so
Please don't continue to give me false hope and lead me on, if I'm just a fool in love with you then come out and say it.
Should I keep dreaming on, or just forget you?
I'm torn between continuing to hold onto hope and forgetting you entirely, but I'm not sure what the right decision is.
What shall I do, I wish I knew
I'm lost and uncertain, wishing for guidance and clarity about what to do next.
Lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Peermusic Publishing, Warner/Chappell Music, Inc.
Written by: DAVE BARTHOLOMEW, BOBBY MITCHELL, ELMO MONTGOMERY
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind