Loud And Soft
Sesame Street Lyrics

Bert: "Hey Ernie! Hey Ern."
Bert greets Ernie.

Ernie: "Hey there, Bert."
Ernie responds to Bert's greeting.

Bert: "Hi. Listen the radio is playing soft and then loud. Something wrong?"
Bert asks Ernie about the radio's behavior.

Ernie: "That's the volume control, Bert. See this little button here? That's the volume control."
Ernie explains to Bert how the volume control works.

Bert: "Yeah, you're the one that's doin that, huh?"
Bert realizes that Ernie is controlling the volume.

Ernie: "And when I turn the knob this way, it makes the radio play louder."
Ernie demonstrates how to make the radio louder.

Bert: "Yeah, I know. See, I'm tryin to read over there..."
Bert explains to Ernie that he's trying to read and the loud radio is distracting him.

Ernie: "And then Bert, when I turn the knob this way, it makes the radio play softer."
Ernie demonstrates how to make the radio softer.

Bert: "Good, I like it just that way Ernie, soft."
Bert tells Ernie to keep the volume soft since he prefers it that way.

Ernie: "But I think, I think I like most of all, is when I turn the radio up loud."
Ernie confesses that he likes the radio loud.

Bert: "Ernie! Ernie! That's too loud. You're making the radio play very very loudly!"
Bert complains about the loud volume.

Ernie: "Bert, don't yell, I'm tryin to listen to the radio!"
Ernie doesn't want Bert to yell since he's trying to listen to the radio.

Bert: "I will yell Ernie! I will yell! I have every right to yell! I'll yell and yell and yell because I can't hear myself any other way!"
Bert starts yelling since he can't hear himself talk over the loud radio.

(Ernie turns off the radio)
Ernie turns off the radio to avoid the conflict with Bert.

Bert: "Ernie! Now, you really do not care if I want some peace and quiet do you?"
Bert questions Ernie's disregard for his peace and quiet.

Ernie: "I wonder what would happen if I took the knob off this radio..."
Ernie contemplates removing the knob from the radio.

Bert: "You know you really have no consideration for people, do you?"
Bert tells Ernie that he's inconsiderate towards others.

Ernie: "C'mere Bert."
Ernie calls Bert.

Bert: "What're you doing?"
Bert asks Ernie what he's doing.

Ernie: "I'm gonna put the volume control on you."
Ernie tells Bert that he will use him as a volume control.

Bert: "Wha! I am not a radio, Ernie! Now cut that out!"
Bert protests against being used as a volume control.

Ernie: "And now I think I'll turn the volume a little lower..."
Ernie lowers Bert's volume since he's not cooperating.

Bert: (In a softer voice) "You know you cannot do that to people, they wanna talk, they're not radios. And I wanna talk and I'll tell you one thing..."
Bert tells Ernie that he's treating him like a radio and he wants to talk to him.

(Ernie turns the volume up)
Since Bert is not listening, Ernie turns the volume up to ignore him.

Bert: (In a louder voice) "I have been trying to read over there! I have been trying to read for so long..."
Bert raises his voice to make himself heard over the loud radio.

(Ernie turns the volume down)
Ernie lowers the volume after listening to Bert's complaint.

Bert: (In a softer voice) "And I hear the radio going up and down, up and down, up and down. And I don't want that. I want..."
Bert tells Ernie that the loud and soft sound is distracting him from his reading.

(Ernie turns Bert off)
Ernie turns Bert's volume off to end the argument.

Ernie: "Keeheeheehee."
Ernie laughs as he thinks he's won the argument.

(Ernie leaves Bert there with his mouth flapping and no sound coming out)
Ernie leaves Bert frustrated and unable to speak.