The first time I met Mike from The Deadly Syndrome, he was throwing up on my couch. He had been out drinking the night before with Will, tore the head off a paper mache dummy, wrestled it across a stranger’s front lawn and then stumbled up to my house (I was living with Will and Jesse, and soon Chris would move into the garage) where he puked all over everything and passed out.
There was a lot of that sort of thing when The Deadly Syndrome first got together. Everyone was running around having fun, working shitty jobs, and writing music all the time. The house was drowning in instruments. There were cheap old organs that somebody picked up off Craigslist. Guitars, pianos, keyboards, violins, all broken down and beat up, just laying around in case somebody needed them.
The weeks started to revolve around shows. You know how whenever someone says, “You should check out my friend’s band?” how your immediate reaction is “are you saying that just because they’re your friend?” I never had that problem. The guys attacked the stage; the audience lost their minds. Their shows were like festivals (with lots of cardboard cut outs). It was a wonderful couple of years.
And then it stopped being fun.
It’s a cliché to say that youth is fleeting. But it’s true. And it’s hard to separate youth from rock and roll. That’s not to say The Deadly Syndrome are a bunch of geriatrics, they aren’t. But after two years of being together they were four guys who loved music, but still weren’t able to do it for a living. Four guys who were getting older and starting to think about things like financial security, maybe starting a family, having a car that didn’t break down all the time, getting health insurance, etc – all the stuff that keeps making more and more noise as the years go by and you start growing up.
And growing up is tricky business in rock and roll. Because the truth is that while age doesn’t stifle creativity, it certainly encourages stagnation. And stagnation leads to a sad and boring road that either ends with too much thinking about The Good Old Days or Fat Elvis.
So after a couple of years I think the guys weren’t sure what to do. If you’ll allow me another cliché, things were starting to feel like an ending, rather than a beginning. At this point they could have very easily broken up. Left on good terms and gone their separate ways. Or they could have written another Ortolan. Similar songs played in the same venues, stretching out the good times as far as they could. Instead they moved all of their stuff into a cabin up in the woods and started over.
There weren’t a lot of updates, no hand wringing or bragging, nothing specific, just the occasional word that things were moving along. And then one day after about nine months had gone by, they let everyone know that they had finished an album and were calling it Nolens Volens.
The songs, the production, it all seems to be the work of a band that has found its strengths, and is busy seeing how far they can push them. You can hear the earlier, younger band throughout all the songs, but there’s something else there as well. A sort of self-assurance that gives each song its own life and space, along with a patience that usually isn’t associated with rock and roll.
More than anything else though, Nolens Volens is about growing up. About the give and take that comes with age and responsibility, about remembering the energy of youth and infusing it into a new, older life.
Or not. Fuck it, maybe I’m over thinking it. Maybe they just made a great record and plan to release it later this year and that’s all there is to it. After all, they’re all still in their 20’s for god’s sake! Why am I talking about growing up? There’s still plenty of time for being young, playing the music too loud, and puking all over everything just before passing out.
–Jason Greene
i release you
The Deadly Syndrome Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
About the man she thought they could be
But I'm not all that, my sins, all my friends
Have been done in the name of fun
It's been swift and it's been everyone
Don't let me in
Don't let me out
Don't set me free
Don't blame yourself
Don't let me in
Don't let me out
Don't let me in
Don't let me out
The honour I felt as the (?)
His toys loved back and they're easily craft
In the attic in the afternoon sun
I am like that, my sins 'gainst my loves
And my loving I turn alone
The price that they paid for the nights that they stayed
It's been swift and it's been everyone
I won't let you in
I won't let you in
I won't let you in
So don't blame yourself
I won't let you in
I won't let you in
I won't let you in
I won't let you out
Out...
Soon, oh so soon, you'll be gone
I'll release you
If numbers on the phones disappear
Not an issue
My voice in your ear disappears;
Not an issue
Your eyes fade green to gray
I release you
I release you
I release you
Don't let me in
Don't let me out
Don't set me free
Don't blame yourself
Don't let me in
Don't let me out
Don't let me in
Don't let me out
Soon, oh so soon, you'll be gone
I release you
The song "I Release You" by The Deadly Syndrome is a song that speaks to the complexity of human relationships and the ways in which our personal flaws and mistakes can have repercussions on those we love. The opening lines describe a woman leaving a book for a man to read, which outlines the potential of what they could have been. However, the singer feels that he is not worthy of this kind of love and has committed sins with his friends that have hurt others. He does not want to be let in or out, or set free, but he also does not want to be blamed for the consequences of his actions.
As the song progresses, the singer compares himself to a character in a book who has lost the love of his toys, feeling that his flaws and mistakes have caused him to lose the people he loves. He acknowledges the price his loved ones have paid for his actions and vows not to let anyone else in or out of his life. The chorus repeats the same lines about not letting anyone in or out but adds the line "Soon, oh so soon, you'll be gone. I release you" at the end, indicating that the singer recognizes the damage he has caused and will let go of those he has hurt.
The song speaks to the struggle of acknowledging our mistakes and the pain we have caused others while also trying to move forward and protect ourselves from further harming those we love. It highlights the importance of taking responsibility for our actions and recognizing the impact they have on others.
Line by Line Meaning
She left a book for him to read
She left him a message about the person she wanted him to be
About the man she thought they could be
The person she hoped he could become
But I'm not all that, my sins, all my friends
I am flawed, and my friends also contribute to my problems
Have been done in the name of fun
But we justify our actions as having been done for pleasure
The price they've paid for the trouble I've made
Others have suffered consequences from my mistakes
It's been swift and it's been everyone
The consequences have been intense and universal
Don't let me in
Don't allow me to enter your life
Don't let me out
Don't give me freedom to control you
Don't set me free
Don't let me go without consequences
Don't blame yourself
Don't feel responsible for my actions
The honour I felt as the (?)
The sense of pride and achievement I had
His toys loved back and they're easily craft
The toys he made were loved and admired, and he made them easily
In the attic in the afternoon sun
The toys were stored in the attic where sunlight could reach them
I am like that, my sins 'gainst my loves
But I am not like that, I have harmed those I love
And my loving I turn alone
I have turned away from love because of guilt
The price that they paid for the nights that they stayed
Others have paid a price for being close to me
It's been swift and it's been everyone
The consequences have been intense and universal
I won't let you in
I won't allow you to become close to me
I won't let you out
I won't give you freedom to escape consequences
I won't let you in
I won't allow you to enter my life
I won't let you out
I won't allow you to leave without consequences
Soon, oh so soon, you'll be gone
You will leave soon
I'll release you
I will let you go
If numbers on the phones disappear
If communication ends abruptly
Not an issue
It won't be a problem
My voice in your ear disappears;
If I am no longer present in your life
Not an issue
It won't be a problem
Your eyes fade green to gray
Your outlook has changed from hopeful to uncertain
Don't let me in
Don't allow me to enter your life
Don't let me out
Don't give me freedom to control you
Don't set me free
Don't let me go without consequences
Don't blame yourself
Don't feel responsible for my actions
Don't let me in
Don't allow me to enter your life
Don't let me out
Don't give me freedom to control you
Soon, oh so soon, you'll be gone
You will leave soon
I release you
I will let you go
Contributed by Jordyn F. Suggest a correction in the comments below.