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Eric Balfour
The Eric Andre Show Lyrics
No lyrics text found for this track.
The lyrics are frequently found in the comments by searching or by filtering for lyric videos
The lyrics are frequently found in the comments by searching or by filtering for lyric videos
Memestrele
Eric bounces the pencil off the table, surprising himself a little.
Eric - You know my next guest from the show “Haven”.
Cuts to Hannibal being completely devoid of interest in any of this.
Eric - Please give it up for Eric Balfour!
Sound of a bat dropping
Eric Balfour - Ok, hang on…
Eric gets pushed to the stage, regretfully sighs.
Upbeat music kicks in
Eric bumps into the statue of David due to having spun around the bat just moments before. Then he continues to meander towards the Eric’s desk, while the statue smashes into pieces, evoking no reaction from Eric.
Cuts to musicians jamming, while the half of the instruments they play is not heard in the music piece.
Host Eric excitedly handshakes the guest Eric - “Nice to meet ya!”, while Hannibal purposelessly walks to the side.
Cuts to musicians again. The black saxophonist licks his lips probably due to being thirsty for some overweight white lady again.
Host Eric - You feeling alright?
Guest Eric laughs while doing a quick facepalm.
Host Eric - What are some uhh… Whaddya think?
Guest Eric breaks into longer laughter, during which one can sense a tormented state of his.
Host Eric - About a… Who’s the hottest girl you’ve ever hooked up with?
Guest Eric - Hooked up with a wardrobe… designer once.
Host Eric - You’ve hooked up with the wardrobe girl?
Guest Eric sniffs - Once she would bring my uh… once she would bring my wardrobe in the trailer in the morning.
Host Eric - I think that is the way to go. You don’t wanna hook up with like… hesitating for a moment oriental-background actresses or anything.
Hannibal - Why not?
Host Eric - Do you? Coz aren’t they cu-cuckoo crazy?
Guest Eric - I mean BACKGROUND-actresses are.
Hannibal, starting to take interest in the matter - Did you say “oriental” though?
Eric looking with a tint of guilt - Yeah.
Guest Eric - You refer….
Guest Eric gets cut off by Hannibal perplexingly tilting his head, which he somehow could sense. Guest Eric sighs with annoyance or due to scorching temperature on the set.
Host Eric - Is that weird?
Hannibal - Yeah, even…
Guest Eric - I think it’s weird that…
Cuts to host Eric scribbling on paper due to being a little embarrassed by his utterance.
Host Eric - Let me just say it again. 5, 4… continues to silently lip-sync “three” and showing 3 on his hand, which he fails to do for “two” Have you ever hooked up with any… *pauses, while visibly struggling not to say “oriental”*… background actresses?
Guest Eric - No.
Host Eric suddenly fills with excitement, gets his hand ready to punch a table at the end of the phrase.
Host Eric - I wanna talk “Jesus Hates Zombies”! ferociously punches the table
Guest Eric jitters, struggling to manage his utter frustration.
Host Eric - I wanna talk…. Is this your directorial debut?
Guest Eric - Yeaaah this is my… yeah, feature directorial debut.
Cuts to the movie’s poster, which looks like a 4chan’s fan art.
Applause
Host Eric - Congratulations, man!
Guest Eric - Thank you.
Host Eric - What it’s about, what are you promising the audience?
Guest Eric - So “Jesus Hates Zombies” is based on a comic book…
Host Eric notices that something had dripped on the guest.
Guest Eric - …. the world is… is taking over by zom…
Eric Balfour is unable to speak, as if only now realizing that he made this movie.
Eric Balfour breaks down, has another episode of distress-induced laughter.
Host Eric comfortingly - Just take your time, take your time. - Allowing the guest to overcome the breakdown.
Guest Eric, realizing that it looks like his breakdown is related to him having made the movie. - I don’t need to take my time, I’m just saying…
Host Eric continues to comfort guest Eric with a soothing voice - Take your time. It’s okay.
Eric Balfour loses it. - Between the f*blip*cking wall… you know what… okay… between the f*blip*cking wall…. you know what…
Fart noise as if there is someone shitting on Eric from up there.
Guest Eric breaks into another distraught laughter, while some background laughter and “damn it!” also can be heard. Host Eric looks at him like at a madman.
Guest Eric proceeds to have a meltdown - Like I walked in… blip it… it’s hot too *takes off his coat*… it’s f*blip*cking hot…
Someone in a background continues to die from laughter (probably a person with a shocking collar controller) .
… your f*blip*cking make-up artist… W-what’s the… what’s the… tell them what it’s the game called!
Host Eric assumes a news-reporter pose, proceeds to hum giving no answer.
… with a stick…
Fart noise
Guest Eric flips out as if someone indeed had shat on him from above, moves out of the way.
Hannibal audibly finds it amusing.
Guest Eric, adjusting the shock collar on his arm - She didn’t *blip*… You know that’s not a *blip*…
Cuts to Host Eric sorting through the script.
Guest Eric - How do expect to ever like… have a career doing this?
Host Eric tries to ignore him.
Guest Eric - You never want like… you-you bring… you invite people here…
Cuts to teary-eyed Eric being emotionally shattered.
-…. Hear me out, make a list. You can f*blip*cking… Every other person who doesn’t come on your show coz it’s f*blip*cking stupid.
A single tear rushes down the Host Eric’s deeply affected face.
Host Eric with a puzzled intonation hiding his emotional turmoil - What is going on with you? What are you talking about?
Cuts to guest Eric adjusting his hair.
Host Eric with a perplexed smile - You sound insane.
Sweaty Eric Balfour makes some noises which cascade to a chain of coughs - Like this f*blip*cking interview… *cough*…
Host Eric - It’s just beautiful.
cough
A LOUD WET COUGH
Alarm kicks in
A TV rises from under the mug, startling Host Eric to the point he decides to smash the TV with a bat which happens to be nearby while screaming intensely. The mug falls down and breaks, Eric keeps on smashing the TV, while we transition into the next prank bit.
This show is a masterpiece.
Mr. Cow
This dude barges in criticizing Eric's show after he breaks his statue of Michaelangelo's David...
calz0ne
Mr. Cow haha they literally tortured him
AG Wreck
These are just short clips... i do not think these scenes happened in sequence. Eric Andre has said in an interview they do like an hour and a half of interviews and edit it down to the 10 minutes or so that it is. It looks like that dude has been through alot of shit on this show by the time he started getting pissed lmao.
charlie kyoot
he should release the whole shit lol
charlie kyoot
he should release the whole shit lol
Chris Rudd
Apparently they seriously fucked with him, here's just a small list of some of them
- They put him in 3 layers and a winter coat when the studio was over 90 degrees
- They made him wear a dog collar... but not in the usual place
- They put a fart machine in his chair
- They were dripping water on him the entire time
- They made him play Dizzy Bat literally right before he came out the curtain (you can hear the bat drop when he walks out)
Ned is dead
"Tell them about the game, with the stick" I like how they're making him sound like he's completely insane
Denatsu Games
I literally didnt have any idea what he was talking about until i read the comment section
Brad Divens
The best part is they edited it as if Eric was mostly giving a normal interview and Balfour just seeimngly snaps.
armr6
@Brad Divens I'm pretty sure the 60-90 minutes give them enough material to edit it either way 😂😂