1. The F… Read Full Bio ↴There have been several band that recorded as The Frantics.
1. The Frantics were a 1990s punk band from South Carolina. They had several 7-inch records and appearances on compilation albums. Also released two full length albums before their break-up in 2000. The Frantics toured and/or played shows with bands like AFI, Bouncing Souls, FYP, and Blanks 77. Band members consisted of: Kevin McSwain (vocal/guitar), Anthony Price (bass/vocals), Timmy Campbell (guitar/vocals), Todd Hooks (1st Drummer: 1994 - 1998), Drew Perry (1998 - 2000).
In 2005, the band got back together for one last performance at a benefit concert for the ailing club owner who booked them in their heyday.
A year later three members (Kevin, Anthony, and Drew) went on to form The Black Kites, who performed a more stripped-down rock sound. They released a four song EP and played shows for nearly two years, ending in 2008.
2. The Frantics were a Seattle based rock and roll / instrumental group that was active between 1956 and 1966. They started out as The Four Frantics in 1955 when guitarist Ron Peterson and accordionist Chuck Schoning started playing together in the seventh grade. After they added a drummer, bassist and sax player to the ensemble, they began performing at teen dances; before long, they were opening shows for national touring acts throughout the Pacific Northwest.
The band signed a recording contract with Seattle-based Dolton Records and their first hit was a tune called โStraight Flushโ, which entered the charts in 1959. The bandโs finest artistic moment came a year later when they recorded โWerewolfโ, an offbeat soundscape that opens with a bit of dialogue from Lon Chaney Jrโs film The Wolf Man (1941).
The band's line-up was Jim Manolides, Don Fulton, Ron Petersen, Chuck Schoning, Bob Hosko and Geno Landis.
3. The Frantics were a Canadian comedy quartet from the 1980s, recently reunited, consisting of Rick Green, Dan Redican, Paul Chato and Peter Wildman. They had a weekly comedy show on CBC radio, and a short-lived TV show called "Four On The Floor".
4. The Frantics are four lads from the west coast of Scotland, brought together by the music. Since they formed, the chemistry has flown. Tunes wrote with an inspiration of the rock n roll scene, Made up of Bradley Waite (Vocals + Lead guitar) Calum Bennett (Guitar) Matthew New (Bass) and Blair Gilmour (Drums + Backing Vocals).
Last Will and Temperament
The Frantics Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
Mr. Muldoon's Last Will and Testament.
HEDGE: Well, get on with it! The bars open soon.
JENNY: Oh, poor Arthur! Waah!
HANK: There, there Jenny!
RALSTON: How predictably boring.
MRS. MULROY: I never worked for a kinder man.
LAWYER: If we are all seated, I shall proceed with the reading.
HEDGE: Hah, hah, hah, hah.
LAWYER: I, Arthur Durham Muldoon, being of sound mind and body --
HEDGE: That's a laugh! Hah, hah, hah, hah...
LAWYER: -- do hereby divide up my considerable estate as follows: To my
overly emotional sister Jenny --
JENNY: Waahh!
HANK: Jenny, darling, he's talking about us.
LAWYER: -- who grubbed with her husband Hank, grubbed for everything they
could get from me and then shed crocodile tears when I needed sympathy; to
Jenny I leave... a boot to the head.
HEDGE: Hah, hah, hah, hah!
JENNY: A what? (THUMP!) Ow!
HANK: Jenny, are you okay?
LAWYER: And another boot to her wimpy husband Hank.
HANK: (THUMP!) Ow!
LAWYER: Ah, but still, you are my sister. You have both admired my Rolls
Royce, and since I no longer need it --
JENNY: Oh, dear Arthur, he's too kind!
LAWYER: -- I bequeath... another boot to the head.
JENNY: What? (THUMP!) Ow!
HEDGE: Hah, hah, hah, hah!
LAWYER: And another one for the wimp.
HANK: (THUMP!) Ow!
LAWYER: Next, to my alcoholic brother --
HEDGE: Hey, I don't want no boot to the head.
LAWYER: -- to dear Hedge, who has never worked a day in his drunken life --
HEDGE: I'm covering up my head!
LAWYER: -- I leave my wine cellar and three crates of my finest whiskey.
HEDGE: Really?
LAWYER: And a boot to the head.
HEDGE: (THUMP!) Oh!
LAWYER: And another for Jenny and the wimp.
JENNY: (THUMP!) Uh!
HANK: (THUMP!) Ow!
LAWYER: Next, to my know-it-all nephew, Ralston --
RALSTON: This is so predictable.
LAWYER: I leave a boot to the head.
RALSTON: (THUMP!) Uh! I knew it.
LAWYER: And one for Jenny and the wimp.
JENNY: (THUMP!) Ow!
HANK: (THUMP!) Oh!
LAWYER: This takes care of family obligations. And now, to Mrs. Mulroy --
MRS. MULROY: Oh, ah, I don't want nuthin'.
LAWYER: -- who took care of me faithfully these many many years, who cared,
made me laugh, brought me tea --
MRS. MULROY: Oh, I didn't mind.
LAWYER: To Mrs. Mulroy, I bequeath... a boot to the head.
MRS. MULROY: (THUMP!) Oh!
LAWYER: And one for Jenny and the wimp.
JENNY: (THUMP!) Ah!
HANK: (THUMP!) Oh!
LAWYER: And so, to my cat Mittens, I leave my entire, vast... boot to the
head.
MITTENS: (THUMP!) Mroooow!
LAWYER: And finally, to my lawyer, who has helped me on this will, I leave
not a boot to the head, but a rabid Tasmanian Devil TO BE PLACED IN HIS
TROUSERS? (growling...) Uhh! Huh! Huh! Huh! (panicking...) And, and, and
I leave my entire estate of ten million dollars to the people of Calgary so
they can afford to move somewhere decent
The Frantics' song "Last Will and Temperament" is a humorous take on what might happen during the reading of a will. The song opens with Lawyer as the executor of Mr. Muldoon's estate, reading out his last will and testament. As the will is being read, the characters mentioned in it react in various ways. They are either happy or sad depending on what they are left with. In the end, Mr. Muldoon's estate is left to the people of Calgary.
Throughout the song, there is a recurring theme of "a boot to the head." This phrase refers to a comical punishment that Mr. Muldoon leaves for some of his family members and staff. With every mention of it, the song builds up to something that is both absurd and ridiculous. The phrase serves as a humorous way to contrast the good things that others receive.
The song uses satire to poke fun at how people react during the reading of a will. It highlights the irony that people who would not even have cared for Mr. Muldoon during his lifetime now pretend to grieve over his death. The absurdity of some of the requests in the will also makes people question the extent of human greed and selfishness.
Line by Line Meaning
As executor of Mr. Muldoon's estate, I have been empowered to read Mr. Muldoon's Last Will and Testament.
The lawyer is reading the will of Mr. Muldoon under his authority as the executor.
Well, get on with it! The bars open soon.
Hedge is annoyed and wants the lawyer to get on with the reading as he wants to go to a bar.
Oh, poor Arthur! Waah!
Jenny is emotional and sad about the death of Arthur.
There, there Jenny!
Hank is trying to comfort Jenny who is crying.
How predictably boring.
Ralston finds the reading of the will to be dull and predictable.
I never worked for a kinder man.
Mrs. Mulroy remembers Mr. Muldoon as a kind man who treated her well.
If we are all seated, I shall proceed with the reading.
The lawyer asks everyone to be seated so he can proceed with the reading of the will.
I knew it.
Ralston wasn't surprised by the contents of the will.
I, Arthur Durham Muldoon, being of sound mind and body --
Mr. Muldoon declares himself to be of sound mind and body in the will.
That's a laugh! Hah, hah, hah, hah...
Hedge laughs at the idea of Mr. Muldoon being of sound mind and body.
-- do hereby divide up my considerable estate as follows: To my overly emotional sister Jenny --
Mr. Muldoon plans to divide his estate among his family members, starting with his sister Jenny.
Waahh!
Jenny starts crying again.
Jenny, darling, he's talking about us.
Hank points out that the will is talking about both him and Jenny.
-- who grubbed with her husband Hank, grubbed for everything they could get from me and then shed crocodile tears when I needed sympathy; to Jenny I leave... a boot to the head.
Mr. Muldoon is angry at Jenny and Hank for taking advantage of him and provides a humorous punishment of a 'boot to the head' in the will.
Hah, hah, hah, hah!
Hedge laughs at the punishment given in the will.
A what? (THUMP!) Ow!
Jenny is surprised and hurt when she receives the 'boot to the head'.
Jenny, are you okay?
Hank asks if Jenny is okay after receiving the 'boot to the head'.
And another boot to her wimpy husband Hank.
Mr. Muldoon also punishes Hank with a 'boot to the head' in the will.
(THUMP!) Ow!
Hank is hurt by the 'boot to the head'.
Ah, but still, you are my sister. You have both admired my Rolls Royce, and since I no longer need it --
Mr. Muldoon intends to leave his Rolls Royce to Jenny and Hank.
Oh, dear Arthur, he's too kind!
Jenny expresses her appreciation for Mr. Muldoon's generosity.
-- I bequeath... another boot to the head.
However, Mr. Muldoon again decides to punish them with another 'boot to the head'.
What? (THUMP!) Ow!
Jenny is surprised and hurt by the second 'boot to the head'.
Hah, hah, hah, hah!
Hedge finds this punishment funny and laughs.
And another one for the wimp.
Hank is punished with another 'boot to the head'.
(THUMP!) Ow!
Hank is hurt by the second 'boot to the head'.
Next, to my alcoholic brother --
Mr. Muldoon plans to leave something to his alcoholic brother.
Hey, I don't want no boot to the head.
Hedge protests that he doesn't want to be punished with the 'boot to the head'.
-- to dear Hedge, who has never worked a day in his drunken life --
Mr. Muldoon refers to his brother as a lazy alcoholic who has never worked.
-- I leave my wine cellar and three crates of my finest whiskey.
However, Mr. Muldoon intends to leave his wine and whiskey collection to Hedge.
Really?
Hedge is surprised and pleased that he is getting the wine and whiskey collection.
And a boot to the head.
Unfortunately, Mr. Muldoon again decides to give Hedge the 'boot to the head' punishment.
(THUMP!) Oh!
Hedge is hurt by the 'boot to the head'.
And another for Jenny and the wimp.
Jenny and Hank also receive another 'boot to the head' punishment.
(THUMP!) Uh!
Jenny is hurt by the third 'boot to the head'.
(THUMP!) Ow!
Hank is hurt by the third 'boot to the head'.
Next, to my know-it-all nephew, Ralston --
Mr. Muldoon plans to leave something to his nephew Ralston.
This is so predictable.
Ralston is not surprised by the will and how each person is being punished with the 'boot to the head'.
I leave a boot to the head.
Mr. Muldoon punishes Ralston with the 'boot to the head' as well.
(THUMP!) Uh! I knew it.
Ralston is hurt by the 'boot to the head' and wasn't surprised by his punishment.
And one for Jenny and the wimp.
Jenny and Hank also receive another 'boot to the head' punishment for a fourth time.
(THUMP!) Ow!
Jenny is hurt by the fourth 'boot to the head'.
(THUMP!) Oh!
Hank is hurt by the fourth 'boot to the head'.
This takes care of family obligations. And now, to Mrs. Mulroy --
Mr. Muldoon has finished taking care of his family members in the will and is now moving on to Mrs. Mulroy.
Oh, ah, I don't want nuthin'.
Mrs. Mulroy doesn't want anything from Mr. Muldoon's estate.
-- who took care of me faithfully these many many years, who cared, made me laugh, brought me tea --
However, Mr. Muldoon acknowledges Mrs. Mulroy's faithful service to him over the years.
Oh, I didn't mind.
Mrs. Mulroy expresses her willingness to take care of Mr. Muldoon.
To Mrs. Mulroy, I bequeath... a boot to the head.
Despite her loyalty and devotion, Mr. Muldoon decides to punishe Mrs. Mulroy with the 'boot to the head'.
(THUMP!) Oh!
Mrs. Mulroy is hurt by the 'boot to the head'.
And one for Jenny and the wimp.
Jenny and Hank also receive another 'boot to the head' punishment for a fifth time.
(THUMP!) Ah!
Jenny is hurt by the fifth 'boot to the head'.
(THUMP!) Oh!
Hank is hurt by the fifth 'boot to the head'.
And so, to my cat Mittens, I leave my entire, vast... boot to the head.
Mr. Muldoon decides to leave his cat Mittens with his entire estate, consisting solely of the 'boot to the head' punishment.
(THUMP!) Mroooow!
Even the cat is not spared from the 'boot to the head' punishment.
And finally, to my lawyer, who has helped me on this will, I leave not a boot to the head, but a rabid Tasmanian Devil TO BE PLACED IN HIS TROUSERS? (growling...) Uhh! Huh! Huh! Huh! (panicking...) And, and, and I leave my entire estate of ten million dollars to the people of Calgary so they can afford to move somewhere decent
Mr. Muldoon decides to leave his lawyer with the absurd punishment of a rabid Tasmanian Devil to be placed in his trousers instead of a 'boot to the head'. He also leaves his entire estate of ten million dollars to the people of Calgary to help them move to a better place.
Contributed by Isaiah R. Suggest a correction in the comments below.
@andymac4883
I'm not going to lie, I always imagined the boots were being thrown, not kicked.
@PooBrainBatman
same
@nuii700
funny just the same
@AlqhemyA
Same
@RadRaptor152
it's funnier when they get thrown
@reisakashiya
Fuckn same, but still funny
@ZeldaTheSwordsman
You get the feeling Arthur leaving Hedge the booze was 50% soft spot... and 50% knowledge that Hedge would duck under the table.
@Oswin2642
100% foresight
@petersimpson4648
He acquired Ultra Instinct while writing his will.
@TustlePlays
Said it before on the original Phoenix Wright parody of this skit; Hedge must have been really fun to drink with at the very least.