Blueprints
The Spill Canvas Lyrics


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I guess I assumed that I had a clue, or knew how to do this While you got sicker I was drafting up my blueprints
But as it turns out, they were of no use to me
I've been so lost ever since your wings found peace
This is a poor attempt at moving on
This is me reluctantly giving your death a song
In doing so, I get lifted from the low
So if only for a moment-it won't feel like your gone
I let my regret get the better of the best memories with you Tried drugs and liquor for a quicker happy substitute
But as it turns out, they did more harm than good




Now I spend my days in a haze, blaming it on my childhood

Overall Meaning

In the first verse of the song "Blueprints" by The Spill Canvas, the singer reflects on a past relationship where they thought they had a clear plan or understanding of how to navigate it. While the other person was struggling with an illness, the singer was busy creating blueprints in their mind for how to handle the situation. However, in hindsight, these plans turned out to be useless, and the singer has felt lost ever since their partner passed away ("ever since your wings found peace"). The singer acknowledges that trying to move on and come to terms with the loss has been difficult, as evidenced by their "poor attempt" in giving their loved one a song as a form of tribute.


As the singer grapples with their grief and the lingering pain of their partner's passing, they find some solace in expressing their emotions through music. They admit that writing this song is a way for them to reluctantly confront the reality of their loss, and in doing so, they find temporary relief from the heaviness of their sorrow. The act of creating and performing this song becomes a momentary escape from the harsh reality that their loved one is no longer present, providing a brief respite from the pain.


The singer shares their struggle with coping mechanisms in the aftermath of their partner's death, particularly turning to substances like drugs and alcohol as a way to numb the pain and find temporary happiness. However, these crutches end up causing more harm than good, leaving the singer in a fog of confusion and self-blame. The lyrics convey the destructive cycle of using unhealthy coping mechanisms to mask the pain of loss, only to spiral further into a state of numbness and regret.


In the final verse, the singer reflects on how their past experiences, possibly traumas from childhood, influence their current struggles with processing grief and moving forward. The haze of substance abuse and self-blame becomes a coping mechanism for avoiding the deeper emotional wounds that the loss has unearthed. The lyrics capture the complex emotions and struggles that come with navigating grief, regret, and the search for healing in the aftermath of losing a loved one, painting a poignant picture of the singer's journey towards acceptance and self-forgiveness.


Line by Line Meaning

I guess I assumed that I had a clue, or knew how to do this
I thought I understood how to cope with your illness


While you got sicker I was drafting up my blueprints
While you were getting worse, I was trying to make a plan


But as it turns out, they were of no use to me
But my plans didn't help at all


I've been so lost ever since your wings found peace
I've been struggling since you passed away


This is a poor attempt at moving on
I'm trying to move forward, but it's difficult


This is me reluctantly giving your death a song
I'm expressing my feelings about your death through music


In doing so, I get lifted from the low
Through music, I find some relief from sadness


So if only for a moment-it won't feel like your gone
Even if just for a moment, I can pretend you're still here


I let my regret get the better of the best memories with you
I often dwell on the mistakes I made instead of remembering the good times


Tried drugs and liquor for a quicker happy substitute
I turned to substances to try to numb the pain


But as it turns out, they did more harm than good
Unfortunately, the substances made things worse


Now I spend my days in a haze, blaming it on my childhood
I now struggle with a clouded mind, attributing it to my past experiences




Lyrics © O/B/O APRA AMCOS
Written by: JAMES PATRICK KALETH, RICHARD KEITH MADOC THOMAS

Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
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Comments from YouTube:

@hereisjamz

This band touches my heart every time.

@justapekinduck3558

Those drums are insane!

@sycofya1677

Yes! First thing i noticed 🤘

@Shhee_x

I would love to hear more about Nick's process when writing this song. I feel like it has to be about his mother and their relationship, but it can easily be adopted to help all of us express emotion for a loss that we might struggle to fully accept.
Thank you so much for being so open with your emotions in your music, it helps a lot of people.

@CrazybassistGaming

I just read an interview with Nick stating that it's about his mother passing and their relationship, so you're 100% right. I think this is my favorite song off the new album and the newest song I'm adding to my list of their songs that I cover. It's so good.

@theovstheo

Wow! 🥺❤️ I love it

@theflawedkid

Awe. Just like TSC that I remember 🥺

@jonasjakobsson5252

Fuck yes!

@therock435

Holy shit. This one hurts

@woxdy

1sr