Ruppert ended the project after three years in May 2007, feeling that the project had served its purpose in helping him to deal with his mother's death. Ruppert intends to stay musically active - most recently, he has been working with Jamie Stewart of Xiu Xiu and Nika Roza Danilova of Zola Jesus on a synth pop project Former Ghosts.
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Faces
This Song Is a Mess But So Am I Lyrics
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Before we compared our parents deaths.
Before Bridgette dropped medical school.
Before dad tried pot again.
Before Grayson acted like a selfish fuck.
Before I searched for god and gave up again.
The song "faces" by This Song Is a Mess But So Am I is a deeply introspective and emotional piece that deals with the pain and confusion of growing up and dealing with life's unpredictable twists and turns. The lyrics speak to a sense of nostalgia and a longing for simpler times, before the weight of adult responsibilities and tragedies took hold. The opening line, "I remember faking it through that Christmas," sets the stage for a song that's both raw and honest, with vivid descriptions of the different struggles that the singer and their loved ones have faced.
The song mentions several events that have had a significant impact on the singer's life, including the deaths of their parents, Bridgette dropping out of medical school, and Grayson acting selfishly. The lyrics strike a balance between acknowledging the pain and confusion that these events have caused, while also expressing a desire to move on and find hope in the future. The line "Before I searched for god and gave up again" speaks to the singer's spiritual journey and struggle with belief, which is a recurring theme throughout the song.
Line by Line Meaning
I remember faking it through that Christmas;
I recall pretending to be happy during the holidays, when in reality, I was struggling internally.
I want those days back.
I long for the simplicity and ease of the past, and wish to go back to a time when things were not so complicated.
Before we compared our parents deaths.
Prior to when we began discussing and analyzing our respective parental losses and how they have affected us.
Before Bridgette dropped medical school.
Before our friend Bridgette left her education and career path in medicine.
Before dad tried pot again.
Before our father experimented with marijuana once more, possibly indicating a relapse in his addiction or a desire to escape reality.
Before Grayson acted like a selfish fuck.
Before our friend Grayson displayed self-centered and inconsiderate behavior.
Before I searched for god and gave up again.
Prior to when I attempted to find faith and belief in a higher power, only to ultimately abandon the pursuit once more.
Contributed by Isaac D. Suggest a correction in the comments below.