I'm Afraid I'm Gonna Die Here
Tim Kasher Lyrics

I gotta write another chapter
I need to keep writing in order to tell my story and make it feel complete.

I've been feeling incomplete- This epic voyage of my 30s reads a little weak.
Despite everything I've accomplished, I still feel like something is missing in my life.

So, how did we end up here, sidelined on the coast? We finally stopped our rambling To live happily by the shore.
After a period of wandering, I finally settled down with someone and found contentment by the beach.

Now, I'm afraid I'm gonna die here, Dried up like some beached whale, And nobody will ever hear my tale...
I worry that my life will end without me feeling like I've truly told my story to the world.

I was single in the city, up North in L.I.C., Selling stories to an audience of friends and family.
I used to write and share stories with those close to me when I was single and living in Long Island City.

And I wasn't seeking women, Though I stumbled on my share; Like Simon on 7th Avenue, 'I took some comfort there, mm, hmm.'
Even though I didn't actively try to find romance, I still had my fair share of casual flings and found comfort in them, much like Paul Simon in the song '50 Ways to Leave Your Lover.'

And then I met her-a wilted flower-, She bloomed too soon, dwarfed amongst the towers. Burned out like a child twirling a sparkler.
I fell in love with someone who had lost some of their former vibrancy and energy, weighed down by the difficulties of urban life.

I got her as far as Iowa; She started to regain most of her color... That's when she told me There was another.
We moved to Iowa and my partner started to feel better, but then they confessed that they had fallen for someone else.

Love, it makes you lazy, You don't ask questions anymore. You settle into the furniture, Collecting cobwebs on the porch.
Once you have found someone to love, it's easy to become complacent and content, losing the curiosity and drive you once had.

We got a cabin on the beach, I took on a mistress of my own. You knew, but you didn't say anything; We're too scared to be alone
We got a beach house and I began seeing someone else, but my partner knew and didn't confront me because they were afraid of being alone.

...And afraid we're gonna die here- This town's bloated with old folk's homes- When we kick the bucket, who's to really know? Do they notice once our breakfast has grown cold? And when the orderlies steal our wedding rings Do they even care what stories Our bands of gold could tell?
We worry that we will die in this small town and be forgotten or viewed as just another old couple, with no one caring about our past experiences or stories.

You said, 'Baby, you worry so much about dying, You forget to really live.' 'Yeah? Maybe so-now tell me who you've been with.'
My partner tries to encourage me to focus on the present and enjoy life, but I am still consumed by jealousy and suspicion about their past relationships.

So, I'll write another chapter, I mean, it's all I can do. And if my body's tossed along the craggy rocks I hope this book is waterproof-
Despite my fears, I know that writing and telling my story is the best I can do to feel like my life has had meaning and significance.

Greetings from the Pacific! We tied the knot out on the sand. I got a job writing obits - a professional writer at last! I'm afraid I'm gonna die here all comfy and content.
Despite my anxieties, I was able to find happiness and success in my life, getting married on the beach and working as a professional writer.

I wrote my own obit, reduced to one sentence: 'Timothy was a sensible citizen; He cast aside his starving eyes For his very own slice of American Pie, A sensible decision.'
Even though I may have once felt unfulfilled, I was able to find contentment and make good decisions for myself later in life.

I better write another chapter.
No matter what happens in my life, I know that there is always more to tell and more to write.