The Piano Has Been Drinking
Tom Waits Lyrics


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The piano has been drinking,
My necktie is asleep
And the combo went back to New York,
The jukebox has to take a leak
And the carpet needs a haircut,
And the spotlight looks like a prison break
And the telephone's out of cigarettes,
And the balcony is on the make
And the piano has been drinking,
The piano has been drinking

And the menus are all freezing,
And the light man's blind in one eye
And he can't see out of the other
And the piano-tuner's got a hearing aid,
And he showed up with his mother
And the piano has been drinking,
The piano has been drinking
As the bouncer is a Sumo wrestler
Cream puff casper milk toast
And the owner is a mental midget
With the I.Q. of a fence post
'Cause the piano has been drinking,
The piano has been drinking

And you can't find your waitress
With a Geiger counter
And she hates you and your friends and you
Just can't get served without her
And the box office is drooling,
And the bar stools are on fire
And the newspapers were fooling,
And the ash-trays have retired
'Cause the piano has been drinking,
The piano has been drinking




The piano has been drinking,
Not me, not me, not me, not me, not me

Overall Meaning

In "The Piano Has Been Drinking," Tom Waits paints a picture of a seedy dive bar, where everything is in a state of disrepair and chaos. The lyrics are filled with surreal imagery and wordplay that evoke the disorienting effects of being drunk. The repeated refrain "the piano has been drinking" serves as a surreal touchstone, reminding the listener that what they're hearing is not quite real.


One of the themes of the song is the way that alcohol can make even the most mundane things seem strange and unfamiliar. The "necktie" that is "asleep" and the "jukebox" that "has to take a leak" are examples of this. The personification of the piano as a drunk is another example. The piano becomes a character in its own right, stumbling and mumbling its way through the song.


Line by Line Meaning

The piano has been drinking,
The piano is not functioning properly.


My necktie is asleep
I feel uncomfortable and restrained.


And the combo went back to New York,
The band has left the stage.


The jukebox has to take a leak
The jukebox needs to be repaired.


And the carpet needs a haircut,
The carpet is messy and unkempt.


And the spotlight looks like a prison break
The spotlight is chaotic and erratic.


And the telephone's out of cigarettes,
The telephone is not working.


And the balcony is on the make
People on the balcony are acting promiscuously.


The piano has been drinking,
The piano is still not functioning properly.


And the menus are all freezing,
The food is cold.


And the light man's blind in one eye
The person controlling the lights is partially blind.


And he can't see out of the other
He is having other issues with his vision.


And the piano-tuner's got a hearing aid,
The piano tuner has hearing problems.


And he showed up with his mother
The piano tuner brought his mom along for some reason.


As the bouncer is a Sumo wrestler
The bouncer is very large and imposing.


Cream puff casper milk toast
The person being described is weak and insubstantial.


And the owner is a mental midget
The owner is not very intelligent.


With the I.Q. of a fence post
The owner is very stupid.


'Cause the piano has been drinking,
Again, the piano is not functional.


You can't find your waitress
The service is terrible.


With a Geiger counter
You can't locate the waitress, no matter what you use.


And she hates you and your friends and you
The waitress is not fond of you or your group.


Just can't get served without her
The waitress is the only option for ordering food.


And the box office is drooling,
The box office workers are not competent.


And the bar stools are on fire
The atmosphere is very intense and unstable.


And the newspapers were fooling,
The newspapers were not telling the truth.


And the ash-trays have retired
The ash-trays are no longer necessary.


The piano has been drinking,
Again, the piano is not functional.


Not me, not me, not me, not me, not me
I am not the one who has been drinking.




Lyrics © BMG Rights Management, JALMA MUSIC
Written by: Tom Waits

Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
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Most interesting comments from YouTube:

R. R. Rubin

The piano has been drinking, my necktie is asleep
And the combo went back to New York, the jukebox has to take a leak
And the carpet needs a haircut, and the spotlight looks like a prison break
And the telephone's out of cigarettes, and the balcony is on the make
And the piano has been drinking, the piano has been drinking...
And the menus are all freezing, and the light man's blind in one eye
And he can't see out of the other
And the piano-tuner's got a hearing aid, and he showed up with his mother
And the piano has been drinking, the piano has been drinking
As the bouncer is a Sumo wrestler cream-puff casper milktoast
And the owner is a mental midget with the I.Q. of a fence post
'Cause the piano has been drinking, the piano has been drinking...
And you can't find your waitress with a Geiger counter
And she hates you and your friends and you just can't get served without her
And the box-office is drooling, and the bar stools are on fire
And the newspapers were fooling, and the ash-trays have retired
'Cause the piano has been drinking, the piano has been drinking
The piano has been drinking, not me, not me, not me, not me, not me



Michael Hraba

My necktie is asleep.
The combo went to New York.
The jukebox has to take a leak.
The carpet needs a haircut.
The spotlight looks like a prison break.
The telephone's out of cigarettes,
And the balcony is on the make.
And the piano has been drinking.
Not me.

I heard this song for the first time in 1989. I've been listening to Tom Waits since I was 12. Which explains so much.



All comments from YouTube:

Aramis419

I sang this at karaoke last night. The drunks thought it was hilarious, and the sober folks were confused. Obviously, I now know Tom Waits' intended demographic

Nancy Hanson

This song is hilarious. I am sober.

TE∆SE∆-

Thank You very much 🇮🇪🍄

Nakedyoga420

Despite the obviouse hilarity of this song, i think its truly a beautiful piece of work. I mean the simple piano, the simple singing, but the lyrics just blend together with everything and it just gives off a good vibe. Art is such a beautiful thing you know

Robb Cody

the piano is actually not all that simple. it's a masterpiece the piano alone. hear how many intervals between octaves. the whole song was arranged in this way. it's a brilliant piece. guy further up in the comments said it right. he said, only a drunken piano could do that

M D

And a wonderful video clip

J C

This song is a level of brilliance that few musicians can ever hope to achieve. Meta as fuck, just absolutely genius.

Dragmack

this song is the best kind of music; sweet, courageous, angry, and sad all at the same time.

Wendy Furtado

Well said.

Scobey Rowley

Plus insane

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