First Heartbreak
Tori Kelly Lyrics

You never hear me singin' love songs
I've never been one to express my emotions in a public, sung format.

Wasn't big on poetry
I'm not much for the flowery language and metaphor of traditionally romantic writing.

Never cried in the movies
I've never been one to be swept up in the overly sentimental aspects of cinema.

Didn't wanna feel so weak
I didn't want to be vulnerable or let others see any weakness in me.

I would never talk about it
I keep my feelings to myself and don't discuss them with others.

Never let it get too deep
I keep my emotional involvement at surface level and avoid getting too invested.

But something in me's changin'
There's a transformation or shift happening within me.

Guess you did something to me
I attribute this change to your influence in my life.

'Cause for the first time I get worried
I'm experiencing apprehension or concern for the first time in this context.

When I'm lookin' in your eyes
My anxiety arises when I make direct eye contact with you.

That one day you might leave me
I'm afraid that you may end the relationship at some point in the future.

And it keeps me up at night
These worries are affecting my ability to sleep.

I guess that means I really love you
This level of emotional intensity suggests that I have strong feelings for you.

'Cause I'm afraid to make mistakes
My fear of losing you makes me hesitant to take any action that could potentially harm the relationship.

If you ever left me that would be my first heartbreak
The thought of you leaving me is so devastating that it would constitute my first experience with heartbreak.

Maybe I shouldn't be thinkin' so far ahead
I'm aware that my worries may be premature and that focusing on the future could be detrimental.

Better just enjoy this moment
I should try to appreciate the present and not get bogged down in hypothetical scenarios.

And be happy for what I get
I should be grateful for what I currently have in the relationship.

But you know it's not that easy
Despite understanding this perspective, it's difficult to overcome my fears.

To get out of my head
It's challenging to stop overthinking and analyzing every aspect of the relationship.

So I guess that it's a good thing
This emotional intensity may be a positive indicator for our relationship.

When you want something so bad
This level of desire and longing may actually indicate a strong emotional investment.

I wanna run I wanna stay
I have conflicting feelings and desires regarding the relationship.

Hold every piece so it won't break
I want to protect and preserve the relationship at all costs.

Wanna let go, wanna hold tight
I have conflicting impulses and it's difficult to find balance and resolve.

Afraid that I might suffocate, you with my love
I worry that my intense feelings may be overwhelming or stifling for you.

How much is enough?
I'm questioning how much emotional intensity is appropriate or beneficial for our relationship.

How much is too safe?
I'm also questioning if it's possible to balance safety and security with emotional vulnerability and intensity.

If you ever left me that would be my first heartbreak
The thought of losing you is so daunting that any potential breakup would be incredibly painful and have long-lasting effects.