Window
Veronica Petrucci Lyrics

I have this thing where I get older, but just never wiser
I struggle to learn from life's experiences and mistakes, and age does not necessarily bring greater wisdom.

Midnights become my afternoons
My depression makes it hard to keep track of time, and I feel trapped in a perpetual state of darkness and sadness.

When my depression works the graveyard shift
My depression often hits me hardest at night, when I feel the most alone and helpless.

All of the people I′ve ghosted stand there in the room
My past mistakes and failures haunt me, and I feel the weight of my regrets and all the people I've hurt or pushed away.

I should not be left to my own devices
I struggle to make good decisions and often fall into negative patterns or addictions when left to my own devices.

They come with prices and vices
My bad habits and tendencies always come with consequences and can lead me down a destructive path.

I end up in crises, tale as old as time
I often find myself in difficult or dangerous situations due to my own actions, and this is a common pattern seen throughout history and in many people's lives.

I wake up screaming from dreaming
My past traumas and fears often intrude on my sleep, causing me to struggle with nightmares and sleepless nights.

One day, I'll watch as you′re leaving
I fear that my mistakes will eventually push away the people closest to me, and that I will be left alone with my regrets.

'Cause you got tired of my scheming, for the last time
I worry that my manipulative or selfish behavior in relationships will eventually cause someone to leave me for good, and that this will be the last straw for me.

It's me, hi! I′m the problem, it′s me
I acknowledge that I am the source of many of my own problems and challenges, and that I need to take responsibility for my actions and choices.

At teatime, everybody agrees
Others can see that I have issues or flaws, and that I need to work on myself in order to be a better person and live a happier life.

I'll stare directly at the sun, but never in the mirror
I often avoid confronting my own flaws or looking at my own reflection, instead focusing on external distractions or trying to escape my own thoughts and feelings.

It must be exhausting always rooting for the anti-hero
I recognize that my tendency to see myself as a misunderstood or flawed protagonist can be draining or self-destructive, and that I need to try to break out of these negative patterns of thought.

Sometimes I feel like everybody is a sexy baby
I sometimes struggle to see other people as fully-formed individuals with their own lives and experiences, and instead view them as infantilized or objectified caricatures.

And I′m a monster on the hill, too big to hang out
I feel like an outcast or an outsider, and like I don't fit in with other people or belong in certain social settings due to my own flaws and issues.

Slowly lurching toward your favorite city
Despite my feelings of being an outcast, I still crave connection and a sense of belonging, and often feel like I am moving towards something or someone that I hope will fill this void in my life.

Did you hear my covert narcissism, I disguise as altruism?
I recognize that I have a tendency to subtly manipulate or use other people, and that I often try to mask this behavior behind a facade of kindness or generosity.

Like some kind of congressman, tale as old as time
This pattern of behavior is not unique to me, and has been seen in many people in positions of power or influence throughout history.

I have this dream my daughter-in-law kills me for the money
Even in my subconscious thoughts and fears, I feel like my own mistakes and manipulations could come back to haunt me in the form of betrayal or violence.

She thinks I left them in the will, the family gathers 'round and reads it
My past mistakes and poor decisions could have long-lasting consequences for myself and my loved ones, even after my death.

And then someone screams out, 'She′s laughing up at us from hell!'
My legacy could be one of negative consequences and pain for those around me, due to my own actions and choices.

Everybody agrees
People see that I have issues and problems, and that I need to work on myself in order to be a better person and live a happier life.