Born and raised on the Northeast side of Wichita, Kansas, XV (born Donavan Johnson) was not your average kid on the block. Suffering from an incredibly rare phobia known as Excelsiorophobia, he is deathly fearful of placing a hat firmly upon his cranium. He has fought this fear his entire life, as you can clearly see, placing baseball caps at various angles atop his head. Despite suffering from this career and personality defining phobia, he has persevered to establish a life that resembles some normalcy. Of course he played basketball, rode his bike and reenacted scenes from Power Rangers, like any other youthful spirit would. But his interests varied from those of his three brothers. With a born love for music like his father, who was a record label A&R and an employee at BET, XV began writing songs at the age of 9. Though he was raised by his Mom and Step-Father, the love of music was instilled in him, as well as various other talents such as, writing screenplays and designing websites.
"When I said I wanted to be something, I mean't it! My Grandmother would take me to the library on the weekends and get me every book I needed to learn how to make a movie. I was far from your average kid. When kids were at recess, I would be in class using the school camera to shoot fake news reports. I'm a big dreamer."
The desire to be bigger than his body was fulfilled when XV found Hip-Hop. Being able to express emotions, fantasies, and dilemma's using a clever sense of wordplay makes XV the extraordinary lyricist he is today. His ability to display the perils of the street life, the consciousness of a purist, and relate to suburban youth, stems from his socialness in school. Having friends who were gangbangers, preacher's kids, and rich white boys, allowed XV to break the boundaries many rappers place themselves in, and explore artistic ways to speak to all types of people. Acquiring the moniker, XV, from the roman numerals of "15", the age he was when he decided to begin taking his craft seriously and producing his own music. Inspired by mostly east coast MC's such as Jay-Z, Biggie, Mase, Mos Def, Cam'ron and Talib Kweli, XV recorded, produced, and released his first independent album in 2002. In 2003, his album, "The Answer", received rave reviews on various hip-hop websites.
Without any industry help or management, XV continued to work hard to create a buzz for himself and his record label, Royalty Recordz. Though he got his start performing live at his high school's talent shows, XV went on to opening up for The Ying Yang Twins, Mike Jones, Lil' Rob, Jon B., and defeated four local Hip-Hop acts with over 600 votes to open up for G-Unit. XV then went on to placing a song on Midway's NARC videogame, which led to XV creeping slowly out of the Kansas boundaries in search of a larger base of recognition. That recognition came after XV began making his mark on the mixtape scene with the "Royalty City" Mixtape series and "The Definition" mixtapes, featuring labelmates Bling and Sez Batters. Acknowledgement came from artists such as The Game, Paul Wall, Maino, Sheek Louch and DJ's such as Whoo Kid and On Point. The base has been built, now it's time to strengthen the foundation.
"The title 'COMPLEX' was created when I was trying to describe my album to Bling. It was like being told to describe a three-dimensional piece in two-dimensional form. The title also reflects a characteristic carried amongst most prodigies. I feel the most abstract and idealistic people in the world are complex, because there's so many different layers to them. Albert Einstein was complex, Picasso was complex, Tupac was complex. This album is basically my search for clarity."
With 13-tracks laced with thought-provoking, clever and sometimes cocky lyrical content, XV's search seems to come to a happy medium. His fresh and original topics vary from stereotyping to the differences in urban and suburban america. COMPLEX will be the first major-scale album from XV, and features production from himself, Seven and Benjamin Kash. The album's lead single, "Give You Everything", produced by Seven, is a charming, and sometimes humorous, narrative about a materialistic girlfriend that XV can't seem to break up with. The song that is sure to be a radio smash and bring clarity to the complexity of XV is, "Boy From Kansas". "It was the last song I wrote for Complex, so I feel like it's the most open song about me. My next album is going to be called, 'Clarity', and 'Boy From Kansas' was a step towards that. No matter where you're from, you can relate to that song."
It is a constant struggle for an artist to find himself, and many get lost in the search. It's also a battle for a brand new artist to come out and just be themself. XV is proof that it is a battle that you can win. With an album filled with honesty, positivity, humor, vulnerability and hardly any obscenities, finding clarity may not be an issue for XV any longer. "I'm a regular human-being. I get mad in traffic, I curse, I think about sex 98% of the day. But, in the end. When they read about me or find my time capsule 500 years from now. I want them to say that I was a positive dude. And that's who I am in my music."
Feels Like The First Time
XV Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
[Foreigner:] "It feels like the first, like it never did before"
[Verse:]
Know what it feels like?
Like my backs against the wall again (wall again)
Like my first fight at school where I got a win (got a win)
The first time I met Shane, he put me in the gang
The first time I sold 'cane
I flipped but I knew it wasn't me
And Shane said, "Hoffa, that ain't really you."
The first time I shot a gun, finger trigger itchy
I was quickly ready to pop off with anybody who tried messing with me (anybody)
"It feels like the first time"
I stepped in the booth
At that point I delivered the truth (that was me)
The first time I heard the playback and four minutes after
I would swear up and down I was better than your favorite rapper
Like the first time I had sex
Not the first time I lied about the first time I had sex
The real first time I was working mine like a pro
She would know, no lie, I was on the grind yo (let's go!)
The first time I heard me on the radio (let me think)
Was the last time I heard me on the radio
It really doesn't faze me though
You can do the math
I got over it the first time I signed an autograph (forget it man)
Like the first time I did a show for my class B
I had the whole school singing "You nasty"
So don't ask me about the other three
Cause it's like the first time I dropped an album to me
You see
[Chorus:]
"It feels like the first, like it never did before"
The song "Feels Like The First Time" by XV takes the listener on a journey through the artist's past experiences, both good and bad, that have shaped him into the person he is today. The chorus is a sample from Foreigner's song "Feels Like The First Time," which adds to the nostalgic and reflective tone of XV's lyrics. Throughout the verse, XV references several pivotal moments in his life that still carry weight and significance, giving the impression that they really do "feel like the first time."
The first experience XV mentions is the feeling of having his back against the wall, as if he's facing an insurmountable obstacle. He then flashes back to his first fight in school, which he won, and the first time he met someone named Shane, who quickly became a significant figure in his life. At 14, Shane gave him a chain and welcomed him into a gang. The first time XV sold drugs, Shane cautioned him that it wasn't really who he was. XV also recounts the first time he shot a gun and how it made him feel invincible.
XV then transitions to talking about his music career. He recalls the first time he stepped into a recording booth, where he could finally speak his truth. When he heard himself play back, he was convinced that he was better than any other rapper. XV then mentions the first time he had sex and how he worked hard to be good at it. He also references the first time he heard himself on the radio, and how he wished it would happen again. Lastly, XV shares how the first time he performed for his class was a memorable milestone, making him realize he had the potential to be a recognized artist.
Overall, XV's song "Feels Like The First Time" is a reflective piece that showcases the peaks and valleys of his life experiences. It sheds light on how the first time we do something significant in our lives stays with us forever, shaping us into who we become.
Line by Line Meaning
Know what it feels like?
Do you understand the feeling?
Like my backs against the wall again (wall again)
Like I am stuck in a difficult situation again.
Like my first fight at school where I got a win (got a win)
Like the first time I won a fight, proving myself and gaining confidence.
The first time I met Shane, he put me in the gang
The first time I was introduced to the gang by Shane.
At 14 gave me a chain, down for me, I did the same
At 14, Shane gave me a chain, and as a loyal member, I reciprocated the gesture.
The first time I sold 'cane
The first time I sold cocaine illegally.
I flipped but I knew it wasn't me
I was hesitant and unsure about selling drugs.
And Shane said, "Hoffa, that ain't really you."
Shane advised me that selling drugs is not who I really am.
The first time I shot a gun, finger trigger itchy
The first time I fired a gun, I was nervous and trigger-happy.
I was quickly ready to pop off with anybody who tried messing with me (anybody)
I was quickly prepared to retaliate against anyone who tried to mess with me.
"It feels like the first time"
It feels like I am experiencing these things for the first time all over again.
I stepped in the booth
I entered the recording booth.
At that point I delivered the truth (that was me)
At that point, I poured out my honest feelings and thoughts as an artist.
The first time I heard the playback and four minutes after
The first time I heard the recording played back to me, and four minutes later.
I would swear up and down I was better than your favorite rapper
I was confident in my skills and felt that I was better than many other rappers.
Like the first time I had sex
Like the first time I had sexual intercourse.
Not the first time I lied about the first time I had sex
Not the first time I lied about my sexual experiences.
The real first time I was working mine like a pro
The first time I had successful sex, I performed like a professional.
She would know, no lie, I was on the grind yo (let's go!)
She can confirm that I put in hard work and dedication to be good at sex.
The first time I heard me on the radio (let me think)
The first time I heard my music played on the radio.
Was the last time I heard me on the radio
After the first time, my music was no longer being played on the radio.
It really doesn't faze me though
It doesn't really bother me, though.
You can do the math
You can figure it out and understand.
I got over it the first time I signed an autograph (forget it man)
The first time I signed an autograph, I got over the disappointment of not hearing my music on the radio anymore.
Like the first time I did a show for my class B
Like the first time I performed a show for my second period class.
I had the whole school singing "You nasty"
I had the entire school participating in my performance, singing along to my lyrics.
So don't ask me about the other three
So, don't ask me about my other albums.
Cause it's like the first time I dropped an album to me
To me, each album feels like my first album all over again.
You see
Do you see and understand?
"It feels like the first, like it never did before"
These experiences feel like the first time, as if I am reliving them again for the first time.
Contributed by Scarlett L. Suggest a correction in the comments below.