Beautiful?
illymation Lyrics

I fall apart on the floor in the kitchen
During difficult moments, I feel like everything is falling apart and I break down to the point where I can't even stand.

You're always there, I don't wanna make you listen
You're there for me, but I don't want to burden you with my issues.

I'd rather do it on my own, try to fix it
I would rather handle my problems on my own instead of depending on others. I want to try and fix things myself.

Cuz maybe this time it'll be different
I have hope that things will turn out differently this time, that I can change things for the better.

Yknow, I've been burned before
I've been hurt in the past.

You walk over to my door
Despite my history of being hurt, you come to my door.

Late at night when I knew better
Your presence at my door is unexpected and at a time I should have known better than to expect anyone.

The air was getting colder
It feels like the world is getting colder and darker around me.

You saw what I did to my shoulder
You saw me in a vulnerable state and know that I am struggling.

But you say
Even though I am struggling, you still continue to comfort and support me.

You're beautiful
You see beauty within me that I can't see myself.

And who'da known that I'd believe it?
It's surprising to me that I can believe that I am beautiful through your eyes.

But that's the way it goes
Despite my doubts, this is just the way it goes - you believe in me when I can't believe in myself.

I'd like to say it'll go away with time
I wish I could say that my struggles will fade away over time.

But it never really fades on the inside
However, my struggles are internal and they don't just fade away.

What does it matter when it's all in your mind?
My struggles are all inside my head, but it's still real and affects me in my daily life.

It's a fight every day to stay alive
Dealing with these struggles is a constant battle and it drains me every day to keep going.

And I've tried eight years
I've tried to overcome my struggles for eight years, but I haven't had much success.

To conquer all my fears
I've been trying to overcome my fears that hold me back in life.

But they got worse
Despite my efforts, my fears have only gotten worse.

Maybe I don't deserve
I feel like I don't deserve to be happy and to live a fulfilling life.

To be happy in this world
I don't feel like I am entitled to happiness in this world.

Maybe I deserve to hurt
I feel like I deserve to suffer for some reason, and that I have brought it upon myself.

But if you saw me on the street you wouldn't know
Even though I am struggling on the inside, you wouldn't be able to tell just by looking at me from the outside.

Cuz I'm wearing long sleeves, say I'm cold
I try to hide my struggles by wearing long sleeves and making it seem like I'm just cold instead of covering scars.

It feels bad feeling bad and I'm sorry
It's hard to feel bad and negative all the time, and I'm sorry for projecting that onto others.

I'm a wreck and you're fine, so what are we?
I feel like I am a mess and you are put together, so what are we doing together?

The overpass is close
I am close to giving up, and the overpass represents a way out.

No one would even know
No one would even know if I was gone, the world will keep going.

And no one would even care
Even if people did know, it wouldn't matter to them as much as it does to me.

I'll call my mom goodbye
I will say goodbye to my mom before making the decision to end things.

I'll probably make her cry
I know my decision will hurt my loved ones, especially my mom who will be sad.

But I won't be here to care
Even though I know my decision will hurt others, I won't be around to feel the pain.

So please don't go
You don't want me to leave and want me to keep pushing through the pain.

You're loved more than you know
We care about you more than you might realize and you are important to us.

Do you know?
Do you know how important you are to us and how much we love you?

I hope you see it
I hope that you can see how much we care about you and how much you mean to us.

And that's the way it goes
Despite everything, this is just how life is and we will continue to support you through it all.

Oooooo
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Oooooo
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Oooooo
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Oooooo
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