This is my heartache
m.o.v.e Lyrics

Wanderin' lost. Which way to go
Feeling lost and unsure of the direction to take in life

Don't know I can't feel it in my soul anymore
Feeling disconnected and unable to find purpose or passion

I can't explain it. Half the time I'm angry and I'm dangerous
Feeling unable to express emotions properly, resulting in anger and destructive behavior

Other half I'm nervous and I'm anxious and the flame gets
Experiencing anxiety and fear, which intensifies the internal struggle

Breathin' through my flesh like a demon
The internal turmoil and negative emotions consuming and suffocating

Ain't no coming back, once I'm beasting man I'm leaving
Once caught in a destructive mindset or behavior, it feels impossible to escape

Hells halls, you hear the wolves cry
Feeling trapped and surrounded by negativity and despair

That's where people like me go to die
Identifying with a sense of hopelessness and self-destruction

And I deserve it. My own homeyboys know that I'm worthless
Believing that personal worth is low and even friends recognize it

But they don't know I know just how they see me on the surface
Aware of how others perceive and judge on the surface level, without understanding the true struggle

Momma I'm working... on our new single for the bitches will pay the rent
Putting effort into creating music that aims to generate income and support

To the top two percent once it's finished
Aspiring for success and recognition among the elite

That's just a dream though. I keep it away from my blood thirsty ego
Recognizing the dream as unrealistic and keeping it separate from ego-driven desires

It wants to eat me whole
The ego's appetite for success threatens to consume and destroy the person

The teeth alone are like needles in my bones and I'm all alone
The destructive nature of ego causes immense pain and isolation

I'm with that devil 'til the morning comes
Stuck in a self-destructive cycle until a new day dawns

Burning alive, you can see it in my eyes
Expressing a deep inner turmoil and pain that is visible in one's eyes

Looking for paradise except my logic don't allow the afterlife
Searching for happiness and fulfillment, but logic restricts belief in an afterlife

I want it so bad. And then my prayers hit the wind
Desiring something intensely, but feeling that prayers and hopes go unanswered

And I'm jealous of a Christian like I've never been
Feeling envious of those who have faith and find comfort in their beliefs

Cus I've got nothing to believe in. And nothing lasts forever Drake
Lacking a sense of belief and acknowledging that nothing, not even fame, is eternal

Even the weather that's why the seasons change
Using the changing seasons as a metaphor for the impermanence of all things

They hold strong for a second then they're gone
Moments of stability and strength are fleeting and temporary

Like a record or a broad and I'm just referencing your God and
Comparing the temporary nature of life to the fleeting existence of a record or a woman, while questioning the concept of a higher power

This will pass too. It better soon, I'm planning nix in my bedroom. My heaven's overdue
Acknowledging that the pain and struggle will eventually pass, but hoping for a change soon. Expressing a desire for personal paradise or peace

The monster machete and I'm still lying about loveless and I just wanna score like Wayne Gretzky
Using violent imagery to depict the internal conflicts and admitting to lying about being emotionless. Desiring success and recognition akin to Wayne Gretzky's achievements

I'm a thug nigga
Identifying or expressing oneself as someone with a tough or rebellious attitude

Silver tongue dripping Tequila into the mud
Being eloquent in speech but wasting it on negativity and destructive behavior

My whole life's in irony, look at where I'm from
Recognizing the irony of one's life situation, especially considering one's upbringing or background

I'm in the burbs but I'll stomp your fucking face into the curb
Living in a suburban area but still being capable of violent and aggressive behavior

And I've got some words and some verbs that'll leave your favorite MC served
Confident in one's lyrical abilities, asserting that they can easily outperform and surpass other talented musicians

I can feel it going everything I touch gets crushed into the moment
Sensing that everything one comes into contact with ends up being destroyed or ruined in the process

I can't hold it. My fingertips slip every time that I re-adjust my grip
Feeling unable to maintain control or grasp onto something firmly, constantly slipping and losing grip

So I'm a ride one more time for the serpents make it worth it
Dedicating one last effort or attempt to prove oneself to those who doubt or criticize, seeking validation

Sick of searching Not even certain there's a purpose
Tired of seeking meaning or direction and uncertain if there even is a purpose

Maybe I'll grab a trade and get respected as a person
Considering the possibility of pursuing a different career path in hopes of gaining respect and recognition

But the right to write commercial hasn't grabbed me yet
Not yet finding success or acceptance in writing mainstream or commercial music

I've only fucked with dirty money. Don't even remember how to cash a check
Being involved with illegal or unethical activities, to the point of forgetting or never learning proper financial procedures

It's fucked up isn't it? I was good at flipping shit
Reflecting on the messed up situation and acknowledging that one was once skilled at illegal activities

Can't compete with Government and now my fucking money's spent
Unable to match the power or control of the government, resulting in financial struggles or losses

My crew used to b-boy. We said we'd always be boys
Reminiscing about the past when the crew engaged in breakdancing and pledged eternal friendship

But where's the love and loyalty once we judge each other socially?
Questioning the existence of love and loyalty within the crew when judgment and social evaluation become factors

Brothers I used to love to see now I hope don't notice me
Formerly beloved allies or friends are now individuals the singer wishes would not recognize or acknowledge their presence

And hopefully this hoodie keeps these cowboys from roping me
Wearing a hoodie as a way to avoid or deter confrontations or judgments from others

Finally the fight in me calms my anxieties and now I'm doubting I'm even idling
The inner struggles and conflicts temporarily subside, leading to questioning one's very existence or purpose