Funeral
the buttress Lyrics

I didn't mean to, but the evil thing grew
The urge to kill my babies grew inside me, even though I didn't want it to happen.

Until a tree bloomed and it bore fruit
Finally, the act of killing turned into reality when I drowned my babies in the bathtub.

(THE BABIES ARE IN THE BATHWATER)
This line serves as a reminder to the listener that the babies are already dead, as they were drowned in the bathtub.

They had a bad father, and now I've made for him a memory
The father of the babies was abusive, and now he has a memory of their deaths to haunt him forever.

Remember me? the one that bore your seed?
I address the father of the babies, reminding him of the act of childbirth that resulted in their existence.

Well now they sleep
The babies are now dead and at rest.

I lined 'em up one by one, daughter and son from old to young
I carefully placed each of my babies in the bathtub, oldest to youngest.

Joshua, Noah, Matthew, and even Abby, only one
The names of my babies, reminding the listener that these were real children who lost their lives.

Crying, I baptized them
As I drowned them, I thought of it as a form of baptism or saving them from the world.

"I'm sorry my child, close your eyes for a while, Mommy loves you, goodbye"
These were the last words that I spoke to each of my babies as they lost their lives.

They were the sweetest, remember how they needed us? Like Jesus
My babies were innocent and helpless, like Jesus when he was a baby.

Pleading, crying "Mommy, breastfeed us"
Before they died, my babies were crying out for the nurturing love of their mother.

I'm sorry my angels, but the world is not a safe place for babies
I believed that I was saving my babies from a cruel world by ending their lives.

They won't blame me, my whole life's been wasted
My babies won't be able to blame me for their deaths, but I also know that my life has been wasted due to what I've done.

The crime was committed against me first when I gave birth
In my mind, the crime of childbirth led to a loss of my freedom and identity.

I'm not a nurturer, so I sent them innocent back to the earth
Since I didn't believe myself to be a nurturing mother, I believed it was better to end their lives and send them back to the earth.

Now I'm standing here reminiscing, sharpening these knives in the kitchen
I am now lost in my thoughts, sharpening knives in the kitchen, waiting for what's to come.

I think he'll be coming home soon, I wonder if he'll miss them
I am wondering if the father will miss his babies when he returns home and finds out what's happened.

You weren't aware of the female hysteria?
I am challenging the listener to consider the psychological distress that can come with motherhood.

It's scarier than miscarriages and the plans you weren't aware of
The pain and trauma of motherhood can be more frightening than physical complications such as miscarriages.

In prenatal, premeditated hate I lied in wait
I had already planned to kill my babies before they were even born, waiting for the right time.

And now with my fatal rage this genealogy's been erased
My destructive anger has led to the erasure of my family's lineage, removing us from existence.

An empty cradle remains -
All that remains of my babies is a sense of emptiness and loss.

They'll say I was a monster
Society will see me as a monster for what I've done, and I acknowledge that.

Heartless for committing the darkest arts of the postpartum
I recognize that what I have done is a terrible act of darkness that comes with the postpartum experience.

The Mother Modern Worldly Cast to Hell
I see myself as a mother who doesn't belong in the modern world, casting myself into hell with my own actions.

But what will become of the children?
I question what will happen to my babies now that they are gone, and the consequences of my actions.

Well I guess only time will tell
I accept that only time will reveal the true impact of what I've done, and the consequences that may arise from it.