You'll Only End Up Joining Them
Kevin Devine Lyrics
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I'm pressing flesh, I'm smiling big, my spinning head sings "Stop, just stop"
Cause what used to calm me down
Just rips my life to ribbons now
So I keep smiling, I find my window and quick cut out
These days my hangman's hunger makes my gut kick
My sleeping mind, could map it blind
A flask, a key, a bag, a fifth
I try to will myself away
While shouting habits plead their case
So when the sun sears through my eyes
My beggar's brain can't compromise
I splash cold water, I draw the curtains, I stay inside
And I can't say that it's a sickness, more like a stranger I ask in
And later realize, was a strangler
Slipping nooses in my den
But I was lonely so I asked him, "Would you tie that one on me?"
It wasn't his fault, I was eager, and I was weak
So as I inch towards resolution
Yea I'm not sure which life feels right
A narrow noose or the wading water
The hanging head, sore open eyes
I know my brother he went one way
And at the fork I heard him say
"Don't you follow, don't go making my mistakes"
And I realized what he meant
Don't kill yourself to raise the dead
It never works you'll only end up joining them
The opening line of Kevin Devine's song "You'll Only End Up Joining Them" is very visual, as it paints an image of a peacock posing and showing off its feathers. The singer of the song is out and about, and seems to be enjoying the attention and social interaction that comes with being around others. However, as the chorus suggests ("Cause what used to calm me down/Just rips my life to ribbons now"), the singer is struggling with something internally that is making it difficult to maintain a sense of calm.
The verses provide some insight into what that struggle might be. The singer mentions feeling a "hangman's hunger" and craving substances like alcohol and drugs. They seem to be aware that these habits are not healthy ones, but are having a hard time controlling them ("I try to will myself away/While shouting habits plead their case"). The singer seems to view their own mind as a battleground, with "beggar's brain" and "strangler" personifying the forces that are pulling them in different directions.
Towards the end of the song, the singer mentions their brother and the difference in paths that they have taken. The line "Don't kill yourself to raise the dead/It never works you'll only end up joining them" is particularly striking. This suggests that the singer has been trying to help someone else who is struggling, and in doing so has been putting themselves at risk. The song seems to be a warning against sacrificing one's own well-being in an effort to save someone else, as it can end up being a losing battle for everyone involved.
Line by Line Meaning
Tonight I'm posed and popping like a peacock
Tonight I'm displaying myself like a peacock, supported by pride and arrogance.
I'm pressing flesh, I'm smiling big, my spinning head sings "Stop, just stop"
I'm interacting and appearing friendly with people, but my mind is telling me to stop this behavior.
Cause what used to calm me down
Just rips my life to ribbons now
So I keep smiling, I find my window and quick cut out
Something that used to help me cope now destroys me, so I put on a facade and escape.
These days my hangman's hunger makes my gut kick
Lately, my desire for self-destruction is so strong it causes physical discomfort.
My sleeping mind, could map it blind
A flask, a key, a bag, a fifth
I try to will myself away
While shouting habits plead their case
Even in sleep, I know exactly where to find my vices. I attempt to resist them, but their pull is strong.
So when the sun sears through my eyes
My beggar's brain can't compromise
I splash cold water, I draw the curtains, I stay inside
The morning after indulging, I'm left feeling vulnerable and unable to make decisions. I isolate myself to avoid temptation.
And I can't say that it's a sickness, more like a stranger I ask in
And later realize, was a strangler
Slipping nooses in my den
But I was lonely so I asked him, "Would you tie that one on me?"
It wasn't his fault, I was eager, and I was weak
My addiction is not an illness, but rather a dangerous guest I invited into my life. I asked for help from a harmful source, even though the consequences were clear.
So as I inch towards resolution
Yea I'm not sure which life feels right
A narrow noose or the wading water
The hanging head, sore open eyes
As I try to overcome my addiction, I struggle with finding a life that feels fulfilling. I'm caught between the idea of a slow death or a painful life.
I know my brother he went one way
And at the fork I heard him say
"Don't you follow, don't go making my mistakes"
And I realized what he meant
Don't kill yourself to raise the dead
It never works you'll only end up joining them
My brother suffered a similar fate, and warned me not to follow in his footsteps. I finally understand that if I continue down this destructive path, I will only join him in death.
Lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group
Written by: KEVIN PATRICK DEVINE
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
Alex T
Amazing artist a friend just turned me on too. This man needs more recognition!
LordSithis22
What's funny is I gained a deep appreciation for KD before I ever got addicted to hard drugs. After struggling with/battling addiction for years, these songs mean even more to me. And they have the added allure of nostalgia
Aladdin Patton
my gosh, me too man. Me too. same exact story
twobirdstone
I have loved this song for forever. I heard it for the first time in it's acoustic version, and ever since then, it's stolen a little nugget of my heart.
winamlikenijas
I like when Andy sings these lyrics in "Where have you been".
john Janzzenz
yesss
Puzzle & Petticoats
winamlikenijas When I saw them in July 09 (one of many) KD was support. He came on in MO set to perform a mash up of this and Where Have You Been
Jordan Norris
Same here
Jeffery Crackerjack
Here from the Danny Mullen video
Chiptenders
Same 🙂