The music of $uicideBoy$ varies between different sub-genres of rap; while some songs have melancholy tones with lyrical content that focuses on subjects such as depression and suicidal ideation (topics not widely exposed in rap music), others are wildly aggressive, with themes of violence and sexual content. Some of their music is based around life growing up in New Orleans; song titles such as Audubon, Tulane, Elysian Fields and St. Bernard reflect streets and neighborhoods that influenced the life of Arceneaux and Petrou. A large portion of their music focuses on depression and its symptoms, an angle not often received in mainstream hip hop; Arceneaux elaborated on this in an interview with Mass Appeal, stating, βA lot of people take it as emo, or depressed music, or negative music... itβs really just connecting. Itβs therapy, through music". Excluding occasional guest producers, the entirety of Suicideboys' discography is self-produced, mainly by Arceneaux under his pseudonym Budd Dwyer (an homage to the former politician of the same name).
$crim was born Scott Arceneaux Jr. on April 11, 1989 in Marrero, Louisiana. Arceneaux originally was inspired by T-Pain and Kanye West to produce music, buying his first laptop which he used to start DJing with money gained from selling drugs. Arceneaux's passion for DJing extended when he started to attend Delgado Community College, where he was hired to DJ parties. He also worked selling used furniture, getting fired for his new hand tattoos after three years.
Ruby da Cherry was born Aristos Petrou (ΞΟΞ―ΟΟΞΏΟ Ξ ΞΟΟΞΏΟ ) on April 22, 1990 to an American mother and Greek Cypriot father. Raised in Metairie, Louisiana, Petrou's interest in music began when he was seven, playing violin and then drums when he was ten, eventually joining bands in middle school. He worked at his father's restaurant as a waiter, a job he held until 2015. His experience with the punk rock scene continued as he joined the band Vapo-Rats as its drummer; however, disillusioned with the apathy his bandmates showed towards the future of the band, Petrou left in order to pursue a career in hip-hop with Arceneaux.
Arceneaux and Petrou are cousins, and as such shared a close relationship growing up. Realising that both were interested in taking a musical career seriously, and both dissatisfied with the direction of their lives, the two formed Suicideboys, making a pact that if their musical career didnβt work out, they would both commit suicide. Elaborating on this in an interview with Mass Appeal, Arceneaux states that, βit was pretty much like cutting the hand, bleeding, and making a pact that thereβs no plan B, that if this doesnβt happen by the time weβre 30, Iβm blowing my head offβ.
The duo's first project together, a three-track EP named Kill Yourself Part I: The $uicide $aga, was released in June 2014 on SoundCloud and Bandcamp, attracting attention for their collaboration with notable underground rapper Bones. In the following months, the duo released a further nine iterations of the Kill Yourself series. After a number of collaboration EPs with fellow underground artist Black Smurf, their first full length project titled Gray/Grey was released on March 3, 2015.
Suicideboys' underground breakthrough came with the release of 2015 EP $outh $ide $uicide, a collaboration with established South Florida rapper Pouya, which thrust the duo into the underground rap spotlight. Other 2015 releases include 7th or St. Tammany, YUNGDEATHLILLIFE, High Tide in the Snake's Nest, Grey Sheep EP, I No Longer Fear The Razor Guarding My Heel (part I and II), My Liver Will Handle What My Heart Can't, Now The Moon's Rising and G.R.E.Y.G.O.D.S. with fellow g59 rapper RAMIREZ.
The duo's first foray onto the mainstream musical charts came with the release of Radical $uicide in the summer of 2016. The five-track EP, produced by EDM musician Getter, peaked at number 17 on the Billboard Rap charts. Other 2016 releases include Dark Side of the Clouds, Grey Sheep II, Eternal Grey, I No Longer Fear The Razor Guarding My Heel (part III), G.R.E.Y.G.O.D.S.I.I. with [artis]RAMIREZ, DIRTYNASTY$UICIDE with GERM, and Black $uicide Side C with Black Smurf.
In 2017 the boys released another 10 iterations of the Kill Yourself series, they also dropped DIRTIERNASTIER$UICIDE, with GERM.
On September 7, 2018, their debut studio album I Want to Die in New Orleans was released. A statement posted by the duo's official Instagram account stated, "We started recording this album in the beginning of 2017. Initially we wanted to write about our experiences on the road and express how our lives had become slightly more extravagant."
In late 2018, a rumor arose that the group had broken up following a series of ominous tweets. However, they soon clarified that the tweets were in relation to "personal issues" facing Arceneaux, and that they had in fact not broken up.
Coma
$uicideboy$ Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
Serve on, se-serve on, now you know I'm out it hard
Creepin' out the cut with my yams, now I want some hay
Serve on, se-serve on, now you know I'm out it hard
Creepin' out the cut with my yams, now I want some hay
Serve on, se-serve on, now you know I'm out it hard
(Ay, Yung Mutt)
Creepin' out the cut with my yams, now I want some hay
Serve on, se-serve on, now you know I'm out it hard
Mirror, mirror on the wall
Who the fuck was that ugly ass boy I saw?
Yung Mutt with the dumbfuck
Dirty like a dump truck
Such a fucking bum, uh
Slash guts
I'm disgusted, I'm busted on what the fuck did I just put up my nose?
I'm buggin' out these people
I'm ducking out
I'm in trouble now
I don't see the clouds, lights out
Now I lay myself to sleep
Now that I can rest in peace
I'm questioning my misery
My deathwish granted peaceful sleep
My body turns to worms for the birds to eat
Eternal decay for eternity
Creepin' out the cut with my yams, now I want some hay
Serve on, se-serve on, now you know I'm out it hard
Creepin' out the cut with my yams, now I want some hay
Serve on, se-serve on, now you know I'm out it hard
I can't lie, lately, I've been on the fucking edge
Pistol gripped up in my left
Xanax, heron, bunch of meds
Fantasizing about death, just need one in my temple
Put the gun up to my head
Fuck this shit, I shot the lead, and now I'm dead
Descended through hell, nothing but burnin' flesh smells
I scream, and scream, and scream, and hear the others yell as well
Oh well, just my luck
Devil opens up to devour me
That was my old life, Antichrist, he has empowered me
"A water main broke, leaving New Orleans without drinking water
And the flooding here is getting worse
After waters from Lake Pontchartrain broke through a levee"
The lyrics to $uicideboy$'s song COMA depict the thoughts and experiences of someone who is struggling with addiction and mental health issues. The repeated line "creepin' out the cut with my yams, now I want some hay" represents the cycle of addiction that the singer is caught in. "Yams" and "hay" are both slang terms for drugs, and the singer is constantly seeking more even though they know it's harming them. The line "serve on, se-serve on, now you know I'm out it hard" refers to the act of selling drugs and the dangers that come with it. The singer is aware of how difficult their life is but feels like they have no other option.
The second half of the song takes a darker turn as the singer considers suicide. The line "mirror, mirror on the wall, who the fuck was that ugly ass boy I saw?" shows the singer's self-loathing and lack of self-worth. They feel like a "dirty dump truck" and a "bum." The line "my deathwish granted peaceful sleep" suggests that the singer has been hoping for death and finally feels like they can rest. The final lines of the song are the most chilling, with the singer imagining their body turning to worms and being eaten by birds. The song ends with a news clip about a water main break and flooding in New Orleans, which adds to the sense of hopelessness and despair.
Line by Line Meaning
Creepin' out the cut with my yams, now I want some hay
Sneaking around with my friends, now I want some weed
Serve on, se-serve on, now you know I'm out it hard
Drinking lean, now you know I'm feeling it
Mirror, mirror on the wall
Who the fuck was that ugly ass boy I saw?
Looking in the mirror and seeing a fucked up, ugly version of myself
Yung Mutt with the dumbfuck
Dirty like a dump truck
Such a fucking bum, uh
Slash guts
Feeling dirty, disgusting and like a waste of space
I'm disgusted, I'm busted on what the fuck did I just put up my nose?
Feeling disgusted and ashamed of snorting drugs
I'm buggin' out these people
I'm ducking out
I'm in trouble now
I don't see the clouds, lights out
Feeling paranoid and trying to escape from people and problems, everything seems dark and hopeless
Now I lay myself to sleep
Now that I can rest in peace
I'm questioning my misery
My deathwish granted peaceful sleep
My body turns to worms for the birds to eat
Eternal decay for eternity
Lying down to die, questioning the reasons for my unhappiness, finally getting some peace in death, the physical body decays and disappears forever
I can't lie, lately, I've been on the fucking edge
Pistol gripped up in my left
Xanax, heron, bunch of meds
Fantasizing about death, just need one in my temple
Put the gun up to my head
Fuck this shit, I shot the lead, and now I'm dead
Admitting to being close to a breakdown, holding a gun and thinking about killing myself, finally doing it
Descended through hell, nothing but burnin' flesh smells
I scream, and scream, and scream, and hear the others yell as well
Oh well, just my luck
Devil opens up to devour me
That was my old life, Antichrist, he has empowered me
After death, experiencing pain and suffering in hell, hearing other people scream too, realizing that the devil is coming to take me, feeling like the Antichrist has given me power
"A water main broke, leaving New Orleans without drinking water
And the flooding here is getting worse
After waters from Lake Pontchartrain broke through a levee"
Referencing a real-life news story about a disaster in New Orleans, highlighting the tragedy and chaos in the world
Lyrics Β© Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd.
Written by: Aristos Petrou, Scott Arceneaux
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
Analena Hosack
on For The Last Time
life is hard. i am a 14 y/o struggling with depression. i don't want attention. i don't want anything, i just want to feel better. $uicideboy$ music is the only thing that i can very much relate to, they speak words that i am too afraid to speak. i live in a household of people who don't give a fuck about my mental health. they don't take my words into consideration, so whats the point of going on..."Fuck, I don't see what's the point of going on, no"-...and to those i love, thanks for sticking around. it may sound stupid or cliche that i used that lyric but its true. I'm going through so much and as of right now my life is shit i might be put into a foster home because the legal guardian i am living with dose not want to deal with me anymore. i just want to be back with my biological dad...my bio mom is fighting for custody of me and my twin sister but she abused us for 8 years of our life, "Don't wanna do it again got shit i'm not tryna relive." i have the choice to live with my mom but whats the point there's shit i'm not tryna relive, i'm not tryna be abused again...that's me digging my own grave...literally. but anyways i wanted to say that people who are clinically depressed aren't looking for attention when they post comments about there depression, they just don't know who to speak to about it or maybe they have no one to talk to about it....so think about that next time your going to be mean to someone who is simply trying to get some help. i know I've learned from that mistake because i know so many kids who think its cute, quirky or just simply fun to claim that they are depressed, and those are the people who i'm not okay with because they don't really know how it feels to be so goddamn sad all the fucking time. I've tried committing suicide twice already, and i just simply don't know what to do anymore.