Hope Or Pain
濱崎步 Ayumi Hamasaki Lyrics

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ENGLISH:

HOPE or PAIN

What am I expecting?

Every time the phone receiver
I'm grasping trembles
My heart leaps
But soon I'm let down with a sigh
How many times will I continue to do this?

How long am I going to believe the words, "some other day"
When it will never come?

It's better to forget
Thinking that I just dreamed for a little while
Though I know very well
A miracle will never happen
Though I know very well

I'm sorry I told you abruptly that day
That everything became suddenly unclear

The last time that I saw your tears
Is still clinging to my memory

Why couldn't I believe in you .
Right in front of me?
You see? It must have been good enough
Only to love what I was loving
Almost clumsily

I wonder if I could leave
Something for you

When time passes by
What will be left for me?
My heart going on wishing for a miracle?
Or just

A scar?

ROMAJI:

HOPE or PAIN

Ittai nani wo kitai shiteru to iu no
Nigirishimeteru denwa ga furueru tabi
Ichiichi mune ga takanatte
Demo sugu ni tameiki ni kaete
Mou nando kurikaeshi

kuru wake nai itsuka nante kotoba
Itsu made shinjiteru tsumori

nee wasurete shimaeba ii
Sukoshi yumemite ita dake datte
Kiseki nante okoru wake mo
Nai koto kurai wakatteru noni
Wakatteru noni

kyuu ni subete ga wakaranaku natta tte
Ano hi totsuzen iidashite gomen ne

saigo ni mita namida ga ima mo mada
Atama kara hanarezu ni iru

nee doushite me no mae no kimi wo
Shinjite agerarenakatta n' darou
Suki na mono wo bukiyou na kurai
Suki na dake de juubun datta
Hazu na noni ne

nee watashi wa kimi ni nanika wo
Nokoshite ageru koto ga dekita kana

nee kono mama toki ga sugitara
Watashi ni wa nani ga nokoru n' darou
Soredemo mada kiseki wo negai
Tsudzukeru kokoro? soretomo tada no

kizuato kana?

Overall Meaning

The lyrics of "Hope or Pain" by Ayumi Hamasaki seem to describe the confusion and mixed emotions of a failed relationship. The singer seems to be in a state of uncertainty, not knowing whether to hope for a revival of the relationship or to accept the pain of letting go. The first verse describes the singer's anticipation every time the phone rings, only to be let down with a sigh each time. She wonders how long she will continue to do this to herself, and questions the words "some other day" that have never come. She contemplates the idea of forgetting and accepting that it was just a dream, even though she knows that a miracle will never happen.

In the second verse, the singer apologizes for abruptly ending the relationship, and remembers the tears of the other person that she saw for the last time. She questions herself and wonders why she couldn't believe in the person's love right in front of her. She realizes that all she did was to love the same things that the other person loved, and wonders if she could leave something behind for them.

The song seems to be a journey through the various stages of grief after a breakup - from denial and anticipation to acceptance and regret. Overall, the song is a beautiful ode to the complex feelings and emotions that accompany the end of a relationship.

Line by Line Meaning

What am I expecting?
I'm uncertain of what I'm anticipating

Every time the phone receiver
The sound of the phone makes me alert

I'm grasping trembles
I hold the phone with trembling hands

My heart leaps
I feel hope in my heart

But soon I'm let down with a sigh
I'm always disappointed with an exhaled breath

How many times will I continue to do this?
I'm not sure how much longer I can do this

It's better to forget
Forgetting may be easier

Thinking that I just dreamed for a little while
Maybe I was just dreaming momentarily

Though I know very well
Even if I'm aware of the truth

A miracle will never happen
I know deep down that miracles are unlikely

I'm sorry I told you abruptly that day
I regret my sudden confession that day