Gender Game
Alix Olson Lyrics

You wanna give me a shiner
You want to physically abuse me because of how I look

Cause I look like this
Because of my physical appearance

And I got a vagina?
And because I have female reproductive organs

See, I'm familiar with this Gender Game,
I am aware of the societal expectations and stereotypes placed on individuals based on their gender

I've played this war many times before
I have experienced this discrimination multiple times in my life

On this playground called my identity
In my personal exploration and understanding of my gender and sense of self

When puberty hit like dodge balls
When I went through the physical changes associated with growing up

And freeze-tagged as sissy-fagged
Being labeled as weak or unmanly because of my demeanor or interests

My best friend dissed me- common interests,
My closest companion rejected me because we had similar hobbies and preferences

Different anatomy.
But I did not identify with or present as male

See, vagina meant quieter, caretaker, peacemaker.
Society expected me to display traits and behaviors associated with femininity, such as being nurturing and submissive

Vagina meant keeping lips closed, keeping bodies posed.
It was also expected for me to be quiet and proper, with a focus on physical presentation

Vagina was silent dolls and no action toys,
Toys and activities marketed towards girls were often stagnant and less exciting compared to those marketed towards boys

Vagina was punches when I played with the boys.
When I attempted to break free of these expectations and play with boys, I was met with physical harm and rejection

So I learned to take it in the stomach, I learned to Fight to make friends.
To cope, I had to accept the mistreatment and fight against my own desires to play with boys

And as I learned to make that bullshit end,
As I grew older and wiser, I stopped entertaining these harmful stereotypes

Vagina became a slippery slide for my little finger
I began to understand and embrace my sexuality

Vagina became a quiver that lingered,
My sexual experiences brought me pleasure and satisfaction

Vagina became what I looked for, worked for, stood for,
My understanding and acceptance of my body brought me confidence and a sense of self-worth

I "Viva La Vagina'd all over the place!"
I am proud of my vagina and my femininity

I revitalized Vagina's grace, I discovered vagina's taste.
I have found beauty and pleasure in my own body and sexuality

I became a fine diner. Put my face in vagina after vagina.
I have explored my sexuality and found what I like

And then I was faced with some other lipservice
I was confronted with more societal expectations and standards

Putting me in my place
Attempting to dictate how I should present and behave, based on my gender

That Vagina should not be liberator.
The belief that a woman's sexuality and femininity should not be empowering

But dictator.
Instead, it was seen as something that limits and controls a woman's actions and choices

Of the shoes we wear. The hair we crop.
It was expected for women to present themselves in a certain way, including their physical appearance

The palms we clasp. The way we walk.
Gestures and body language were also monitored and judged based on gender norms

The space we use. The threads we choose.
Even the way we move and the clothes we wear were heavily policed based on gender expectations

Well, I refuse to follow suit.
I choose to reject these arbitrary and restrictive gender norms

Cause I gotta confess, my straight jacket is a dress.
I acknowledge that I still sometimes feel pressured to conform to certain standards of femininity

You know it used to be a crime
There were legal consequences for breaking these gender norms

To wear clothes that didn't scream
To express oneself outside of the prescribed gender roles was highly stigmatized

"Vagin-A!"
To present oneself as anything other than a feminine woman with a vagina was not socially acceptable

I wear these shoes so I can move with my own easy spirit.
I choose to wear clothing and shoes that make me feel comfortable and confident

I don't shave my legs cause
I choose not to partake in certain grooming habits expected of women

It gets cold. Besides, my legs rebel
I have my own reasons for not conforming to societal standards of beauty and grooming

Against the bloody hell of
I feel like I am fighting against a system that is oppressive and unrealistic

Shaved and sliced
The pain and upkeep associated with certain grooming habits are not worth it to me

And since when is my body hair something to judge?
I reject the idea that having body hair is ugly or unclean

Is furry a male privilege-
I see the hypocrisy in the fact that men are not held to the same beauty standards as women

Or a patriarchal plot by gillette?
I recognize that companies profit off of these unrealistic beauty expectations and create them in the first place

I don't cut my nails cause I've got hammering to do.
I prioritize my practical needs and interests over societal expectations of femininity

I'm pounding out my path as I cruise this gender landscape,
I am forging my own way in a world that tries to limit me based on my gender identity

As I peruse the choice between silence and
As I navigate the choice between conforming to societal expectations and staying true to myself

Violence.
I am aware that there may be consequences for challenging these societal norms

Matthew Shepard was bent, so you hang him to a fence,
I acknowledge the consequences of not conforming to gender norms, as seen in the murder of Matthew Shepard

Brandon Teena was murdered as a liar for hiding his Vagina.
I recognize the danger and violence that trans individuals face for not conforming to gender identity norms

And I can't even sit
I am constantly aware of the policing and scrutiny of my gender expression

In a restaurant without causing a stir:
Even my presence and appearance is subject to judgment and criticism

"Whaddya have sir? Whaddya have sir? Whaddya have sir?"
My gender identity and physical appearance cause confusion and bureaucracy

I have a Vagina!
I do not conform to societal expectations of femininity and gender identity, and it's okay

Yes, I've got a vagina and you can still call me sir,
My gender identity is not tied to my anatomy, and I am okay with being referred to with masculine titles

Cause I can't cure
I cannot change the way I identify and present myself

This visual disease of yours.
The discomfort and confusion others may feel about my gender identity is not my responsibility or burden to fix

But I don't give a damn about "Sir" or "Ma'am".
I do not base my self-worth or identity on the titles or pronouns others use for me

So, in the "F" or "M" boxes they give,
I do not fit into the prescribed gender binary, and that's okay

I forgive myself for not fitting in
I have come to terms with and accepted my nonconformity

And blame the world for lack of clarity.
I recognize that societal norms and expectations have contributed to my confusion and discomfort with gender identity

I deliberate.
I make intentional choices and decisions about my gender identity and expression

Penis? I got one y'know. I write down "d" for dildo,
I acknowledge my anatomy but choose not to identify with traditionally male gender roles

I write down "D" for "Don't know," I fill in "F" for fi-fie-foe male!
I reject the gender binary and intentionally choose alternate gender identities

Yes, I'm a giant Vagina!
I embrace and celebrate my femininity and sexuality

And I am too big for these boxes they give,
I refuse to conform to the gender binary and assigned gender roles

Too real for this Gender Toyland
I reject the societal expectations that limit and constrict gender identity and expression

Built over soiled contradictions
The expectations and norms surrounding gender are built on hypocrisy and flaws

With Barbie bricks and Ken cornerstones
Toys and marketing reinforce and perpetuate arbitrary gender norms

Built over the skulls and bones of our Transgendered Ancestors.
The focus on traditional gender roles and norms has been harmful for trans individuals

Danger: She-men working above. And beyond. You.
Trans individuals are fighting against societal expectations and limitations

Yes, we are Deconstruction Workers.
We are actively working to break down these harmful and limiting gender norms

We are exposing unfounded bedrocks
We are challenging the basic beliefs and foundations of harmful gender norms

That bed us to one sex, that wed us to one gender.
The societal expectations and limitations of gender are confining and restrictive

We are overturning those stones,
We reject the restrictive and arbitrary gender norms and stereotypes

We are throwing them back.
We are actively fighting against the oppressive structure of societal gender norms

We are making revolution
We are actively seeking change and progression in the gender norms of society

A gender evolution.
We are pushing for a more accepting and wide-ranging understanding of gender identity and expression

We are invoking strategy, we are revoking shame.
We are actively working to better understand and counter societal norms and shame surrounding gender

And we are calling it. We are calling it
We are naming and identifying the obstacles to widespread acceptance of diverse gender identities and expressions

Refusal to be Named.
We reject the singular and limiting identity assigned by societal gender norms